Chapter 739: Toad Toad Croaks
The idea of showing the suicide note in my phone to Xiao Qin flashed in my mind, but I quickly dismissed it.
Let’s not talk about how corny and humiliating it is, but the unusual relationship between me and Xiao Qin’s parents, which was revealed in it, should be kept a secret from Xiao Qin for the time being.
However, I could not let Xiao Qin continue to be depressed. I had to make her lively again even if it meant taking extraordinary measures.
So I gently hit her on the head.
No, rather than hitting, I put my right fist on the top of Xiao Qin’s head and pressed it gently downward, causing her to involuntarily lower her head. The whole action was very comical and it looked a lot like I was teasing a cat.
Xiao Qin did not understand, “Huh, Ye Lin classmate, what are you doing?”
I did not answer Xiao Qin’s question and continued to stretch out my hand then pressed down her head again. Xiao Qin being pressed down looked quite dumb and cute.
“Why are you playing with my head.” Xiao Qin, who lying on her bed, blinked with a bit of grievance and innocence, still not really understanding.
I pressed down her head for the third time, practically using her as a wobble doll or anther pressable toy.
Xiao Qin did not resist at first, allowing me to press her up and down. The serious and sad topic of talking about the song before, saying that she should bless me as a childhood friend for finding a better girlfriend, became not serious and sad at all as I teased her like a cat.
“Is my head that fun to play with? Ye Lin classmate, why…?” Before Xiao Qin finished her sentence, she was pressed down by me once more and she gradually showed a expression of protest that a cat shows when it gets repeatedly played with.
“Of course it’s fun.” I said, “It’s as fun as it used to be for you when you used to poke me with your fingers and ruler.”
Xiao Qin, whose head was still being pressed down every few seconds, gradually puffed out her cheeks.
After I saw this scene, I felt poetic and couldn’t help but recite the nursery rhyme I heard when I was a child: “Toad toad is puffed up.
“Toad toad toad croaks. Croaks until August 15, August 15 kill pigs, until the toad cries…”
“I, I am not a toad.” Xiao Qin finally couldn’t hold it in anymore.
“That’s not necessarily true.” I laughed, “Mentally ill patients also say they aren’t mentally ill.”
Xiao Qin wrinkled her brows: “Ye Lin classmate actually said I was a toad. Even if I’m not a white swan like the class leader, saying I’m a toad is too much.”
I wanted to say: you’re all swans, I’m the toad who wants to woo a swan. But on second thought, in order to use stimulating therapy for Xiao Qin’s mood, it would be unnecessary, so I continued to press Xiao Qin’s head.
“Haha, I don’t know what animal I am playing with, but she looks dumb and makes people want to bully it. Actually, if you observe closely and try to find good points, I think toads are also quite cute, there are a lot of cute areas…”
“Even the cutest toad is still a toad. It’s too much to say that you’re playing with a toad.”
I felt like it was more like playing with a cat, but as long as Xiao Qin can recover her spirit, it does not matter how she interprets it.
“I don’t know if it’s a toad, but if you are discontent, why don’t you come and hit me… shouldn’t childhood friends always horse around.”
After my reminder, Xiao Qin probably realized I acted very much like some boys in the class who deliberately provoke girls and then make them chase and hit him.
She was still hesitating if she should chase after me, or if it would trigger the psychological shadow I had towards the Little Tyrant, so I once again recited the nursery rhyme:
“Toad toad toad croaks…”
“Ye Lin classmate is bullying me, I don’t have anything green on me, I’m not a toad princess.”
Who said you are a toad princess? Which words did I say to make you think “princess”, or are you thinking of The Princess and the Frog where a prince’s kiss can change you back into a princess.
As she protested against me, Xiao Qin swung her fist at me.
It was a punch without any forced behind it. I was sitting in the chair and dodged it easily.
I got up from my chair and ran to the door to prepare for my escape, while provoking Xiao Qin by saying:
“If you have the ability, then leap over here and chase me!”
Xiao Qin was so angry she pouted and said, “If I leap over to chase you, then that would make me a toad, right?”
I reached out and pointed to Xiao Qin’s bed: “Even if you don’t leap over to chase me, you’re still a toad if you’re lying down on a lotus leaf.”
“I’m not a toad.”
To prove it, Xiao Qin jumped down from the bed, on to the floor. Since Auntie Ren’s house had carpeted flooring, people don’t wear slippers inside. Xiao Qin was also wearing only cotton socks and stepped directly on the carpet.
It was then that I noticed that although Xiao Qin’s socks was candy-colored and not green, there was a cartoon toad so small that it was almost invisible near the opening of her socks.
“And you say you’re not a toad.” I said sarcastically, “You’ve got your own picture printed on your socks.”
Xiao Qin also noticed the socks on her feet was to her detriment, but she still defended herself, “It’s not a toad, it’s a frog taro.”
I pretended to be surprised: “Ah, so it’s a Japanese toad. It probably could not find clean water after the Fukushima nuclear leak, so it came to China for refuge.”
“I already said it’s not a toad, it’s a frog taro…”
“Although it used to be a frog, it became a toad after the nuclear radiation, right?”
As if enlightened, a (⊙o⊙) expression briefly appeared on Xiao Qin’s face.
“I didn’t know that toads are actually frogs that have been exposed to radiation…”
I can’t believe you actually believed the random nonsense I spewed. There were toads tens of thousands of years ago, but were there nuclear power plants tens of thousands of years ago? Did you even study in biology class, I think you’re making the biology teacher cry.
So I laughed and said, “In the Song Dynasty there was already the phrase ‘toads want to eat swan meat’, but there were no nuclear power plants in the Song Dynasty.”
Xiao Qin was dumbfounded and didn’t react instantly, “It might not necessarily be nuclear radiation, maybe the frog was in a Song dynasty microwave and…”
A Song Dynasty microwave? Did you travel back in time to invent it? With your poor science grades, even if it was made similar in appearance, it would immediately explode after it’s turned on.
“There’s an assassin! The civilian who offered the treasure blew up the emperor!”
The palace was in chaos and taking advantage of the confusion, Xiao Qin, who was dressed as a civilian girl, jumped the wall and escaped.
“Damn, they obviously looked very similar, so why did it explode? I used the method Ye Lin taught me and used potatoes to generate electricity…”
Hey, even if you have traveled back to the Song Dynasty, don’t say something so unscientific. I did mention that using the acid in the potatoes, you can use copper and zinc as the positive and negative electrodes, so that each potato can generate about 0.5 volts and 0.2 mA of current… but you can’t be deluded enough to think you could to use such a small amount of electricity to start a microwave.
In the end, basically what you made is something that only looks like a microwave, but is in fact a dirty bomb, right? What do you have against the emperor of the Song Dynasty, why do you have to travel back in time to specifically assassinate him?
After spending 10 seconds to play out a scenario in my head, I smiled at Xiao Qin and said, “I can’t believe you think there were microwaves in the Song Dynasty. You’re not just a toad, you’re a stupid toad.”
I ignored the strong dissatisfaction on Xiao Qin’s face, I once again reached over and tried to press her head while saying, “Toad toad…”
“I can’t tolerate it anymore.” Xiao Qin said angrily, “Taste my steel fist.”
She said as she began to chase me, exactly what I wanted. I immediately opened the door and fled to the living room, making a face at Xiao Qin before leaving the room.
She could not care less about maintaining her non-existent ladylike appearance in front of our parents anymore and followed me into the living room.
“Come back, don’t run, let me hit you once.”
Xiao Qin was fuming on the surface, but her voice contained a hint of joy as she chased after me.
There was a sofa in front of me, so I tried to test my control over my heart disease, so I jumped over the sofa with my hand on the back of the sofa like a pommel horse. I easily jumped over and when I landed, I only made a small sound due to using Yin Yang Sanshou.
Xiao Qin followed suit and also jumped over the sofa, in hot pursuit behind me.
After I jumped over the sofa, I turned around and ran towards Xiao Qin’s bedroom again. Xiao Qin ran as fast as she could to stop me, but I just faked it and started running around to the living room again.
“I’m not stupid and I’m not a toad. Hurry up and apologize.”
I don’t know if it has anything to do with the fact that Auntie Ren is right next to me, but Xiao Qin speaks slightly more stiffly.
“Apologize for what, wait until you catch up with me.”
I don’t know if it has to do with the fact Auntie Ren was nearby, but her voice was quieter now.
“Let’s leave the apologies for when you actually catch up to me.”
My dad was washing dishes in the kitchen while Auntie Ren was watching and occasionally being picky about my dad’s work. When they both saw Xiao Qin chasing after me, but it was obviously childish and not to be taken seriously, they just looked at each other and laughed. They both thought that in the end, children are still childish.
After jumping over the sofa three times and the coffee table four times, I thought it was better not to test the limits of my heart anymore. In case I had a heart attack in front of so many people, I would no longer be able to hide it.
In addition, Xiao Qin’s stamina was also depleted faster than expected, perhaps it was related to her upcoming period.
So I deliberately slowed down at the corner and let Xiao Qin catch up to me.
She was yelling that she was going to hit me, but she hesitated when she saw she was about to catch up to me. She didn’t know if she should keep her two small clenched fists raised or lowered.
Her feet still moved forward according to inertia and I turned around to face her before she was about to hit me and wrapped her in my arms.
It was a non-erotic hug that was mostly an expression of comfort, so it didn’t matter to me even if my dad and Auntie Ren saw it.
“I’m sorry.”
I apologized to Xiao Qin for the toad incident, but not only because of it.
A hug and an apology was not sufficient to heal Xiao Qin’s grievances, but I will try to continue to make amends.
Xiao Qin suddenly went from chasing me to being held in my arms. Her mind wasn’t able to adjust quickly and she froze with a blush.
What’s more, our parents were watching dumbstruck from not far away.
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