Chapter 104
Alright, stop talking, Im just teasing you!
But the next moment, just when he didnt know how to respond, Ji Yun suddenly pulled back her arm and gave him a playful smile.
Then she turned around, swung her arm, and continued walking ahead. Xu Lin also breathed a sigh of relief.
But deep down, he felt more grateful that Ji Yun didnt force him to make a choice, which made him cherish her even more. Walking ahead, Ji Yun, with her back to Xu Lin, suddenly teared up, as if her eyes were blurred by sand, tears about to fall. But she sniffed twice, holding back the tears in her eyes, then released her clenched fist. She realized she had been a bit impulsive.
What if Xu Lin rejected her? What would she do? Would they really go their separate ways?
If they were in different places, not seeing each other, she could still bear it and let time and distance fade it away.
But at this moment, she cant. Even though Xu Lins demeanor indicated he still likes another girl, she cant do it.
If Xu Lin chose her, she might not know what to do either. Should she really ask Xu Lin to give up contact with other girls? She doesnt have the right to restrict someones freedom; she isnt his wife.
But she also doesnt want to compete with others, especially since she feels Xu Lin likes many other girls.
However, she cant say for sure who is involved with him. After all, she cant wrongly accuse anyone.
So shes now caught in a dilemma. But eventually decided to take a step back and play it cool.
Seeing him like this, he wont be pursuing any specific person for now, so no matter who Xu Lin likes, its all the same.
Shes always believed that whats meant to be hers will be hers, and what isnt, she cant force it to stay.
If he chooses someone else, it means he chose the person he truly likes, but if they confirm their relationship and he doesnt end up with her in the end, then shes the one who loses, just like Aunt Yao and her mother.
So she wont make any moves anymore, shell wait until the day he chooses her on his own. And so, the two of them walked in silence for a long time, finally boarding a bus heading towards the hospital.
The bus was crowded, so Xu Lin could only squeeze near the door with Ji Yun, enduring the sandwiching between bodies.
Although its much better in China, there could still be perverts, so he has to be a bit cautious. Thats why he pulled the delicate Ji Yun into his arms, but Miss Ji Yun kept squirming.
What are you doing? After a long silence, Xu Lin spoke for the first time.
Its too crowded, youre pushing against me Ji Yun whispered, feeling embarrassed as she lowered her head, resting it on his chest.
Sorry, its just my phone.
Xu Lin, tell me the truth, do you like me?
Like you? Why do you ask like that? Of course, youre the girl Ive liked for the longest time!
As Xu Lin spoke, a smile crept onto his lips, memories flooding back. He, Li Bin, and Ma Zhiyu were different from each other.
Since childhood, he had been a very shy and timid boy. If it werent for his two good buddies, Li Bin and Ma Zhiyu, he would probably have been bullied frequently.
He was just the most ordinary, honest boy. Normal classes, normal school days, doing homework, and, in his spare time, watching anime or reading novels under his blanket.
In novels, he saw many wonderful stories and the extraordinary lives of the protagonists, shining brightly.
But every day, he woke up feeling like just an ordinary person, unable to change anything, just getting through each day like everyone else.
Like everyone else, elementary school, middle school, high school, college, graduation, work, marriage, continue working.
He also had his share of adolescent fantasies, imagining a world-changing event where he would become the hero. But as he grew older, he found the world becoming more real.
There were so many people with better family backgrounds, naturally smarter, despite his efforts, the gap remained wide.
There were so many people naturally eloquent, with many friends, loved by teachers and classmates alike.
There was a girl he had a crush on in junior high school. She ended up dating a guy who excelled academically, had good athletic performance, and had many male friends outside of school.
He admitted to feeling envious and jealous, wanting to catch up and change himself, but ultimately fell into a swamp, sinking deeper and becoming more withdrawn.
As a result, he became lazier, cared less about his grades, and neglected his social interactions, living in his own world.
He drifted through high school in a haze, his life taking its first and only significant turn when he entered Class 7 of Grade 3, one of 40 students in a class of 60, where he was a typical mediocre student.
He wasnt stylish, didnt know how to dress himself up, and wasnt good at socializing, making him the most inconspicuous presence to others.
But next to him, the most conspicuous person he had encountered in his short life appeared: Ji Yun.
She was like a shining star, illuminating his soul and inspiring admiration, but also serving as a reminder of the danger of getting too close.
Within half a month of starting school, she was pursued by many boys, but she rejected them all.
Yet, Xu Lin envied those boys because they at least had the courage to confess their feelings, while he could only gaze at her from afar.
Then came the first seating arrangement change, based on the results of the first monthly exam. He could only watch as one by one, boys surrounded Ji Yun.
For the first time, he realized that if he didnt strive to change, he would only drift further away from her.
From that day on, he became serious again, not for anything else, but just to get closer to her a little, even just a little.
However, wasting two years in junior high school made it difficult for him to catch up quickly in terms of grades. But halfway through the semester, he still managed to make it to the top 20 in the class.
Half a year passed, and he still hadnt said a word to her. Now he realizes he was acting like a fool back then.
But for him, the greatest redemption came from an incident in the second semester of his sophomore year, a scene he would never forget.
As a shadow figure in the class, with Ma Zhiyu and Li Bin not having transferred to the class yet, he truly had no friends.
Many classmates even got his name wrong, and even the teachers did the same. But during the spring sports exam in April, which was used for publicity purposes,
When he participated in the 1000-meter race for boys, with 50 boys in one group, other students were cheering for their acquaintances as they circled around the track.
But as the race began, he heard other names being called out, and one handsome athlete had a group of girls shouting his name.
But among those dozens of names, his name was conspicuously absent. Just when he felt bitterly disappointed, the clear and bright voice of Ji Yun rang out.
Come on, Xu Lin!
With just this sentence, like an angels embrace, it pulled him out of hell, almost making him cry on the spot.
In this competition, he managed to achieve a good result, seventh place, relying on his frail body.
His classmates surrounded him, praising him, and for the first time, he felt his own existence, as Xu Lin.
He looked into the distance at that girl, who turned around, a shallow smile and glance that he remembered for years.
Because of her, he worked even harder, from being the worst student to improving, making friends, and having his own life.
So she was his white moonlight, and thats why he confessed his feelings as soon as he returned, even though he was rejected.
But he remained surprisingly calm because he had already accomplished what he wanted most back then, without any regrets.
But now, because of his fickleness, he has abandoned his past expectations, which is a betrayal to himself.
Im sorry, Ji Yun, Im sorry. Xu Lin looked at the girl, as if seeing the smiling face that waved goodbye years ago, a line of clear tears accidentally slipping down.
Why apologize? Jiyun suddenly felt Xu Lin crying sadly and was startled, quickly taking out tissues. She gently lifted his chin, a bit ticklish, a bit sweet.
I dont know. Xu Lin pouted, acting like a child.
You dont know and yet you cry. Its really embarrassing! Jiyun laughed when she heard Xu Lin say this. He is acting like a child, crying on cue!
Ji Yun, do you know when I started liking you?
Hmm?
When you cheered me on.
Cheeredyou mean during the competition six months ago?
Yes.
Isnt that considered long? Are you saying youve liked me for the longest time? Ji Yun felt that Xu Lin was being perfunctory with her again.
No, its been quite long, actually, its been 7 years, but I want to make this time even longer, just a bit longer.
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