Chapter 75: Can't Run Away (1)
TL/Editor: Raei
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Song Soo-yeon couldn't breathe.
"...You took good photos, right...?"
She couldn't respond to Jung-gyeom's question.
Jung-gyeom was the reason she was alive.
Without him, she would have left this world already.
He was the first to teach her human warmth, to teach her love.
Sometimes he appeared naive, foolish, or nerdy, but he also possessed a reliability like a strong pillar within him.
And now, he was trembling and crying.
These were not ordinary tears.
They were tears that flowed despite his efforts to hold them back, revealed through the trembling of his whole body.
It was the first time she had seen him like this.
And to realize that she was the one who had caused these emotions...
The realization that she had stabbed the most precious person to her was unbearably painful.
Song Soo-yeon felt a tearing pain.
She had to see what she had destroyed with her own hands.
The place she called home, the restaurant, was gone.
She had taken away Jung-gyeom's treasure.
She already knew what this restaurant meant to him.
She had seen him smiling as he cleaned the same spot over and over.
She knew the cute fact that he sometimes secretly talked to the restaurant.
The backlash was immense.
A tear streamed down Song Soo-yeon's shock-widened eyes.
"...Haah... Haah..."
She really couldn't breathe.
What had she done?
"...You took good photos, yeah...?"
He asked again.
Song Soo-yeon, still in shock, knew.
She had to answer.
"...Yes... I took good photos. But... the restaurant..."
If he found out that she was in the villain alliance that was responsible for destroying the restaurant, what would he say?
Would even someone as kind as him turn cold and tell her to go away, never wanting to see her again?
"...Haah... Haah..."
Just imagining it made her feel like the world was crumbling.
Without realizing it, Song Soo-yeon hugged Jung-gyeom tightly.
-Squeeze!
And she clenched his clothes in her fists.
The more she imagined him pushing her away, the tighter she hugged him.
Jung-gyeom nodded to Song Soo-yeon's answer, then wrapped his arms around her from behind, embracing her.
The two, having lost a space filled with their memories, comforted each other.
However, Song Soo-yeon felt guilty.
She knew all too well that she was the root cause of everything.
The primary cause was Tryno, but the plan itself started from Song Soo-yeon.
She knew she didn't deserve to cry.
But the tears kept coming.
How disgusted would Jung-gyeom be if he knew all the facts?
Jung-gyeom lifted his head to look at Song Soo-yeon.
Ironically, seeing her tears, he managed to smile with difficulty.
With that charm, he comforted her.
Calming himself, he began to soothe Song Soo-yeon.
As emotions surged, rational boundaries crumbled.
Jung-gyeom, holding her, stroked Song Soo-yeon's hair like they were long-time lovers.
He wiped away her tears.
After brushing her hair a couple of times, he lightly pinched her cheek.
In a choked voice, he said, ...Shall we go eat?
His voice tried to hide the pain.
But the more she saw of him, the more Song Soo-yeon's heart ached.
---
---
We arrived at the rice soup restaurant we first visited after my regression and had our meal there.
It was awkward.
Feeding Song Soo-yeon food from another restaurant, not my cooking.
Eating without cooking.
Song Soo-yeon, still shocked by the destruction of the restaurant, blankly stared at the rice soup in front of her.
Her breathing was irregular from tears, and her body trembled.
Seeing her like this made it easier to trust her.
...Of course, being sad about the destroyed restaurant and the probability of her being Luna are completely different things...
But still, my doubts eased a bit.
No, maybe I didn't want to doubt.
Maybe I didn't want to believe she was a villain.
Maybe I'm desperately looking away.
Yeah, a lot has changed since before the regression...
Maybe I'm the rotten one for doubting Song Soo-yeon?
Maybe I'm too blindly trusting my own experiences from before the regression?
Anyway, I forced myself to stop doubting Song Soo-yeon.
I comforted my heart by swallowing warm rice.
...Soo-yeon, eat.
And I woke up the frozen Song Soo-yeon.
...Ah.
She blinked her eyes and lifted her head.
Tears flowed again from her eyes upon seeing me.
She may be cold and prickly, but she had a warm heart inside.
Seeing her so sad proved it.
I reached out my hand to wipe away her tears.
And I said with a smile.
...Eat quickly. It'll get cold.
Song Soo-yeon slowly nodded and began to fill her stomach.
---
---
The bowls were somewhat emptied.
The dinner that happened in silence was coming to an end.
With a full stomach, the heart also calms down.
Now, it was time to plan for the future.
...What are you going to do, mister?
Song Soo-yeon asked.
...What?
I asked back, struggling.
She grimaced again and said.
...What are you going to do about the restaurant?
I awkwardly cleared my throat.
It was an embarrassing fact to admit, but I had to tell her.
...Actually, I didn't have insurance... so I have no money.
...What?
...Even if the building owner does the repairs... there'll still be a shortage of money. I guess I have no choice but to close the restaurant, right?
The utensil dropped from Song Soo-yeon's hand.
-Clang!
Her eyes blinked anxiously, and her hands trembled again.
"...Closing down?"
I smiled, hoping she wouldn't cry anymore.
"...It's okay."
Of course, it wasn't okay.
The connection between me and Song Soo-yeon would now fade.
Usually, we met at the restaurant... but now, that wouldn't happen.
Maybe we could occasionally eat together or hang out, but there wouldn't be regular meetings.
I didn't want to let go of this restaurant... but I needed to look for the next step.
It's okay.
I can continue doing good deeds in the future.
It was even somewhat relieving that I no longer needed to take care of her.
I decided to be content with the fact that I helped one person, Song Soo-yeon.
I had already told her to look for another part-time job once she became an adult.
Now, as she's building a career as a model... there couldn't be a better timing.
"...I... I don't want that...!"
Song Soo-yeon stood up abruptly and exclaimed.
Her eyes were trembling with anxiety.
"...Calm down and sit, Soo-yeon."
Despite my words, Song Soo-yeon circled the table and sat next to me.
Then, holding my arm with both hands, she said in a desperate voice.
"No...! It can't be...! Mister, right?"
She was pleading and shaking me like throwing a tantrum.
It hurt my heart, but there were no other options.
"...I feel the same. But like I said, I don't have money."
"If it's money, I'll provide it."
"........What?"
Song Soo-yeon's hand slipped and grabbed mine.
Quickly interlocking fingers tightly, she pleaded again.
"If it's about money, I'll give it to you... so please don't close down, okay?"
I've never seen her this desperate before.
Completely opposite to her prickly first impression.
She also doesn't want the restaurant to disappear.
"Where would you get the money?"
I asked.
"It's going to cost more than you think. At least tens of millions of won."
Song Soo-yeon answered without hesitation.
"I'll give it to you."
"....What?"
"I've earned a lot from modeling... I'll provide the money... because it's our restaurant..."
".........."
I looked at her blankly.
The box of doubts I had closed opened again.
"......You've gathered tens of millions of won from modeling already?"
Obviously, she's beautiful.
But it hadn't even been a month since she started.
Is it possible to earn that much so quickly?
Song Soo-yeon, avoiding my gaze, said tremblingly.
".....I haven't gathered it all yet... but I will be able to... so... don't worry about the money... okay?"
As I was overcome with doubt, Song Soo-yeon embraced me.
She wrapped her arms around my neck.
Again, she teared up sorrowfully.
"Please... okay? Please..."
I became as desperate as she was in an instant.
Please, don't be a villain.
Please let this be just a figment of my wretched imagination.
"...I should be given a chance to repay the favor..."
Her tears soaked my neck.
In such moments, the amount of affection becomes clear again.
I realized how much she valued me and the restaurant.
I want to believe.
I will believe.
I tucked away my doubts again.
Eventually, I slowly nodded.
"First... give me some time to think. Not yet..."
At my answer, Song Soo-yeon hugged me tighter.
The trembling of her body intensified.
I let out a long sigh.
...For the first time, I directly suffered from a villain's actions.
I had not expected to feel such immense anger and loss.
Maybe I'm being punished.
For everything I've done in the past.
I whispered.
".....I hate villains so much."
"......."
There was a bit of self-loathing in my words.
"...So much."
I also wanted Song Soo-yeon to hear that.
I hoped this hatred of mine wouldn't apply to her.
---
---
Song Soo-yeon hated heroes.
In her youth, when she desperately reached out for help, she was ignored, and that memory lingered.
Just like a flaw, once noticed, becomes all one can see.
Her resentment towards heroes grew with every article about their hypocrisy.
.......But now she understood.
Why people like heroes and hate villains.
No, more than that, why they loathe villains.
Having experienced it, she understood.
When the most precious place is destroyed, and the affection for that place is crushed, it's inevitable.
If there's a slight difference for Song Soo-yeon, it's that she couldn't blame anyone else.
Because she was the villain herself.
And as a villain, she directly witnessed the impact of her actions.
She had to watch the person she loved suffer and bear the guilt of it.
"...."
Song Soo-yeon silently filled Jung-gyeom's glass.
In his studio apartment, sitting next to him, she gracefully filled his glass with both hands.
Jung-gyeom chuckled and ruffled Song Soo-yeon's hair.
"...No, of course not."
Muttering to himself in a way that was incomprehensible, he gradually became drunk.
The soju bottles had already passed six, with him having consumed five.
He had asked for permission to drink just for today.
Song Soo-yeon naturally didn't object.
Though harmful to health, she could only hope it provided some solace.
But as he emptied glass after glass, Song Soo-yeon's heart turned increasingly black with pain.
The empty bottles seemed to testify to his struggles, causing her heart to ache continuously.
This was the first time she had seen him like this.
Song Soo-yeon secretly wiped away her tears.
"...It can't be. It just can't."
Jung-gyeom kept saying, smiling.
Knowing he was drunk and rambling, Song Soo-yeon finally asked.
"What do you mean by 'it can't'...?"
"......."
He didn't answer.
Instead, he just smiled more warmly and pinched Song Soo-yeon's cheek.
Did he know that every time he touched her like this, she was overwhelmed with a strong desire to embrace him, along with a massive sense of guilt?
She felt so guilty she wanted to offer her whole self to him.
Jung-gyeom, after gulping down his drink, lifted his head.
His eyes landed on her fake photo shoot.
Again, he smiled and said.
"...Beautiful. Really... beautiful."
"..."
"Yeah. You're a model, right?"
"..."
"...You must be making a lot of money. So... pretty...."
"..."
Song Soo-yeon didn't ask any more questions.
She just now realized how everything becomes tentative in front of someone so heartbroken.
Also, as much as there were wrongs, there were firm resolutions.
Song Soo-yeon just stayed by his side... like a parasite, merely refilling his glass.
Jung-gyeom let out a long sigh.
And then, his eyes fluttered... and soon, his body relaxed.
-Clang!
Dropping the glass, his head lost its strength.
He quickly fell asleep, breathing deeply.
Song Soo-yeon stared blankly at him.
The sight of him drinking one after another in sorrow.
The sight of him furrowing his brows repeatedly.
And finally... the sight of him falling asleep drunk.
With him asleep... the emotions she felt she didn't have the right to have, intensified.
The suppressed feelings due to guilt burst out.
Tears flowed.
"Sob...! Sob...."
He was so sad.
So hurt.
She couldn't believe this was the result of her actions.
All she wanted was to give back happiness to him.
With a mountain of gratitude to repay, what was she supposed to do?
But Song Soo-yeon didn't cry for long.
She wiped her tears with her forearm, fetched a mop from the bathroom, and cleaned the floor soaked with soju.
Then, with difficulty, she helped Jung-gyeom to the bed.
"..."
Song Soo-yeon looked at him as he lay drunk in sleep.
She hated the complex feelings she had.
Overflowing with regret and guilt... yet a sliver of desire crept in.
Seeing the person she loves lying defenseless... perhaps it was inevitable.
But she shook her head.
Now was not the time for such thoughts.
And she made a decision.
To quit being a villain.
Though the restaurant was ruined by an accidental mishap... it was impossible now.
It was impossible not to have such accidents happen again in the future.
Even if she made money and achieved her goal of hurting Solace to some extent... this one experience was enough to become a trauma.
....Moreover, Jung-gyeom's hatred for villains would grow day by day.
Though the chance was slim, if he ever found out....
Just the thought of it terrified Song Soo-yeon to the point of madness.
She knew that if she were discovered, their relationship would... simply end.
She hadn't even made it onto the villain rankings.
According to Stella, it seemed the Hero Association had decided to keep her hidden.
So, if she wanted to pull out, now was the time.
While her notoriety was low, end it.
Song Soo-yeon calmed herself beside Jung-gyeom, who was lying in bed.
She tightly held his hand and looked at his face.
"..."
After returning home... she would contact Stella.
She knew it wouldn't be easy to leave, but she decided to argue that she was disappointed that they couldn't destroy Solace.
That might make her departure a bit smoother.
And then to leave
"...Lace."
Suddenly, Jung-gyeom's sleep talking paralyzed Song Soo-yeon's reasoning.
"...Solace... I'm... sorry."
His voice echoed in the silent studio apartment.
Tears streamed from his eyes, his expression twisted as if he were having a nightmare.
Life drained from Song Soo-yeon's eyes.
"...Solace... I'm sorry..."
Why even now.
Why, even when drunk to oblivion, is he thinking of Solace.
Why is he recalling that two-faced woman.
Instead of her... who was with him.
...Even in this situation, she loathed herself for feeling jealous.
Inappropriately, possessiveness surged.
"...Mister."
Song Soo-yeon whispered.
And finally gathered the courage.
Only after he had passed out drunk.
Only after he called out for Solace in his dreams, driven by jealousy, did she muster the courage.
"...If you would just look at me... only me..."
Song Soo-yeon climbed onto his upper body.
The scent she always loved from him was now more potent than ever.
Their faces drew closer.
"...Then I wouldn't need... to do this... the bad things..."
Song Soo-yeon closed her eyes to calm herself.
Hundreds of scenarios ran through her mind.
...But this is wrong.
She regained control of her emotions.
This is a crime.
With their noses almost touching, she opened her eyes again and looked at Jung-gyeom with lust-filled eyes.
And with extreme self-control... she began to move her body back.
This is wrong.
"...Sol-"
"..."
But the moment his lips uttered Solace's name again, she couldn't hold back anymore.
She pressed her lips to Jung-gyeom's.
To stop any name but her own from leaving his lips.
She couldn't bear to hear a name other than 'Soo-yeon' from him.
She knew.
This was sexual harassment.
No, it was sexual assault.
Even the thought of such an act was abhorrent to Song Soo-yeon.
Yet, she couldn't afford to care.
Overwhelmed by impulse, her body moved on its own.
Like a villain, she stealthily stole his kiss.
She should have felt guilty.
Considering what she had done today, she would never be able to atone for it in her lifetime.
But at this moment... she felt no guilt.
Instead, the kiss offered her a depth of pleasure beyond anything she had ever experienced.
She realized she was truly becoming a despicable villain.
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