Chapter 34: My Hero (10)
TL/Editor: Raei
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I laid Song Soo-yeon on the bed.
She seemed too exhausted to take a shower and sleep.
Her hangover was gradually getting worse.
Her pronunciation had improved, but she complained of a headache and her retching intensified.
"Do you want to throw up before sleeping?"
I asked her, but she shook her head without a word, then stared at me for a long time.
"Why?"
"...No, it's nothing."
"You should throw up before sleeping, right? It'll be a disaster if you do it while sleeping."
"...I don't want to."
I shrugged my shoulders.
"Do whatever you want."
Then I turned around.
Before leaving the room, I gave her a few more instructions.
"Lie on your side. Don't sleep in the cold. If you feel like throwing up, just do it. Try to drink lots of water in between. It will help with the hangover."
"Where are you going?"
Song Soo-yeon's words stopped me as I was leaving.
I just turned my head to look back at her.
"I need to go to the restaurant. I have things to tidy up."
"You're going to sleep there?"
Song Soo-yeon's expression crumpled as she lay on the bed, supporting her upper body on her elbows.
Her lips moved a couple of times before she spoke.
"Stay here and sleep."
"..."
"We... agreed to do that, didn't we?"
"We didn't agree on that yet..."
As I showed signs of leaving despite her words, Song Soo-yeon struggled to get up from the bed.
"If you don't like it, I'll go to the restaurant and sleep there."
"Ah, okay, okay. Lie down."
Her words were sincere.
I could feel her earnestness, even amidst her struggle with intoxication.
I didn't want to invalidate the effort it took to bring her here.
I thought I should lay her down and then think about it.
Once she falls asleep, I can decide whether to return to the restaurant or not.
...Well, it didn't really matter to me.
I had no intentions of doing anything.
Song Soo-yeon, still carrying many wounds, hadn't changed.
I had no intention of touching her, let alone hurting her.
The problem was her psychology.
Even though she was asking me to sleep together, she might be struggling inside.
She might be trying to keep me in this room, only because she didn't want to leave the restaurant.
This thought made me uncomfortable.
If I set out to do a good deed but end up causing the other person to worry, it would just be self-satisfaction.
Song Soo-yeon, watching me take off my coat, flopped back onto the bed weakly.
I dragged a chair from the room, placed it beside the bed, and sat down.
"Are you going to sleep there?"
Song Soo-yeon asked.
"No. I haven't decided to sleep yet. It's still early evening. You sleep first."
"......."
Her eyes filled with doubt.
I reached out my palm and gently stroked her eyes closed.
Her eyes closed.
"Go to sleep. I'm also watching to make sure you don't throw up."
"....I'm really going to die, mister.."
She spoke with her eyes still closed.
"It's a joke, go to sleep."
I gradually suppressed my smile to help her relax.
And as is often the case when drunk, Song Soo-yeon quickly fell into a deep sleep, her soft breathing beginning to sound.
I sat in the room, now bathed in the light of the setting sun, reflecting on the events of the day.
I remembered the moment Song Soo-yeon apologized and spoke her heart to me.
I also remembered when Solace asked to be by my side.
It was a day where I felt others' affection and respect towards me, feelings I hadn't experienced before the regression.
All of these thoughts brought a smile to my lips.
Gradually, I felt more at ease.
The accumulated fatigue seemed to fly away all at once.
Having drunk and enjoyed myself after a long time, my stress also dissipated.
It was a good day.
A happy one.
As my body relaxed, the effects of the alcohol began to rise.
Maybe I should just close my eyes for a bit.
I could sleep for an hour or two and then wake up.
I closed my eyes and soon fell asleep.
---
---
Song Soo-yeon opened her eyes.
When she had closed them, the sky was tinted with the orange hues of dusk, but now, it was deep into the night.
However, her eyes, accustomed to the darkness, had no trouble seeing.
Her gaze found Jung-gyeom, asleep in the chair beside the bed.
Song Soo-yeon gasped in surprise but quickly silenced herself.
"..........."
She lay back down, having thought to get up, and then slowly observed him.
She couldn't understand why she was doing this.
Today was full of things she couldn't understand, right from the morning.
After their argument the previous day, she had waited for him to come looking for her from the morning.
She stayed home to make it easy for him to find her.
But when he did appear, instead of reconciling and apologizing, she lashed out with harsh words, almost ruining their relationship.
Many classmates and parents had even insulted him, hurting him.
At the moment, she felt rejecting him was the right choice... but afterwards, she realized it was a regret that would stay with her for life.
Why had she done that?
The rest of the day was just as incomprehensible.
During the graduation ceremony, she felt a burning anger seeing Solace appear in front of Jung-gyeom to give him flowers.
That anger was still vivid, and the emotions returned whenever she recalled that scene.
Despite Solace being nice to her, Song Soo-yeon just couldn't act kindly in return.
She wanted to lash out with insults.
The only reason she didn't was the lack of justification.
She remembered Jung-gyeom's tearful face when Solace spoke kindly and praised him.
Song Soo-yeon unknowingly gripped the blanket tightly.
Why was she behaving like this?
Then came the moment Solace, now Min-bom, suggested a drinking session.
And that suggestion led to the drinking session itself.
Throughout the drinking session, Song Soo-yeon's heart was filled with unpleasant thoughts.
Whenever she saw Jung-gyeom laugh at Min-Bom's impressions of soju.
When the two of them gradually became closer.
When Jung-gyeom looked at Min-Bom with soft eyes.
No, every single moment was just too hard for her.
She disliked seeing Jung-gyeom pour drinks for her.
She wanted to be the only one pouring drinks for him and hoped he wouldn't clink glasses with Min-Bom.
Her negative thoughts towards Min-Bom kept piling up.
Min-Bom seemed like she was playing games.
Pretending to be cute, pretending to be innocent.
It seemed like she was flirting.
Despite Song Soo-yeon's own struggle with similar accusations from others, all her resolutions not to harbor such thoughts towards another woman flew out the window in front of Min-Bom.
Why was this happening?
Overwhelmed by frustration, she kept drinking and eventually dozed off.
When she came to her senses, she found herself leaning on Jung-gyeom's shoulder.
She deliberately didn't open her eyes.
She still couldn't understand her own actions.
But the memories didn't end there.
While feeling his warmth, Min-Bom had asked her a question.
'......Do you really not like Song Soo-yeon?'
She was so startled by the question that she inadvertently moved away from him.
From that moment, her heart raced uncontrollably, and it became difficult to control her body.
She wanted to hear the truth.
Nothing else mattered.
It was the moment her lifelong wish not to be loved by strange men was overturned.
She wanted to hear that Jung-gyeom loved her.
'.....I like her, but if you ask if it's love, then no.'
But his answer was the opposite.
At that moment, her rapidly beating heart felt as if it had stopped.
Jung-gyeom didn't love her.
There was no need for him to lie since she was supposed to be asleep.
Her heart felt wrung out.
A pain so intense and confusing visited her.
It was the first time she had ever felt such agony, especially recalling the sincerity in his voice.
Why did it hurt so much?
At the same time, a few things became clear.
She understood why he had suggested she look for another part-time job.
She also understood why he didn't look at her with lustful eyes like other men.
There was a reason his intentions never felt dirty.
It was all because he didn't love her.
"....Haah....haah...."
Song Soo-yeon's breathing quickened as she looked at the sleeping Jung-gyeom.
Her eyes began to moisten.
As much as she didn't want to believe it, this was the truth.
He didn't love her.
All the things he had done for her until now were... just as he said in the beginning, for his own satisfaction.
He hadn't lied.
She wasn't special to him.
.....And she could never be.
"Haah...haah...!"
All this time, thinking he loved her, she had built too many walls.
The distance between Song Soo-yeon and Jung-gyeom was greater than she had anticipated.
She thought they were close and kept pushing him away, but he had already moved to a distance she couldn't reach.
It was in this gap that Min-Bom had landed.
There was no wall between Min-Bom and Jung-gyeom.
Instead, there seemed to be some kind of attraction at work.
The walls Song Soo-yeon couldn't cross, the ones she had built herself, Min-Bom easily floated over and approached Jung-gyeom.
Song Soo-yeon had no right to stop it.
She could only watch as the two grew closer.
As good as they were, they were bound to get closer.
And as they did...
Song Soo-yeon's mind unwillingly conjured up a scenario she didn't want to think about.
They would become closer and eventually become a couple.
Even closer than what she had seen today, they would be together.
Affectionately and dearly.
The future that Song Soo-yeon had pushed away with her own hands would be seized by Min-Bom.
It wasn't hard for her to imagine how well Jung-gyeom would treat his girlfriend.
Even to her, whom he didn't love, he was this kind.
Wouldn't he be even better to a lover?
Jung-gyeom, who laughed and was happy over little things, would deeply love Min-Bom, who appreciated everything.
'And his affection for me will diminish.'
Ugh...!
Suddenly, Song Soo-yeon felt a surge of nausea.
She quickly got up from the bed and ran to the bathroom.
There, she vomited various things that were inside her.
Even in this state, her body took care to ensure that Jung-gyeom wouldnt hear these unpleasant sounds.
"...Haah....haah..."
Was it because of the vomiting?
Tears started to flow.
After flushing the water and rinsing her mouth, she came out of the bathroom.
Jung-gyeom was still sound asleep.
Song Soo-yeon's heart began to painfully throb.
.....She felt like she now understood.
She had never learned it, so it took too long for her to realize... but now it seemed she understood.
Why her heart felt so heavy.
Why it was so hard to breathe.
Why she got angry over trivial things about Jung-gyeom, and also felt happy.
Why she didn't want to show him her embarrassing side.
Why she couldnt stand Min-Bom so much.
Why his touch wasn't repulsive.
Why her heart was racing.
Why she felt such regret.
......
Song Soo-yeon quietly knelt beside Jung-gyeom.
She slowly reached out her hand.
Her trembling hand gradually neared him.
And then, her hand overlapped with his.
.......There was no disgust, only a feeling of tenderness.
And that fact, painfully tormented her.
Unwanted memories from the past returned.
The words she had spoken to him came back.
Dont get any weird ideas. You understand, right?
Damn it, just confess. Seriously.
I can see through your act. Its disgusting, so stop.
I hate men. Ill never fall in love.
Each word pierced her heart.
She was at a point of no return, and only now had she realized her feelings.
Song Soo-yeon pulled his hand towards her.
Her body automatically brought his hand to her cheek.
Breathing shakily, she looked up at the sleeping Jung-gyeom.
Her expression involuntarily distorted.
She was so immature.
In fact, she still couldnt believe it.
But the circumstances made it clear.
.....Do I love you, mister...?
Jung-gyeom was deep in sleep.
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