Chapter 52 - Choice
"I'm not, but honestly speaking, sleeping with you and sleeping with a man would almost be the same."
"Wha?!" Her eyes widened.
Did that shock you, motherfucker?
Lecia might grow up to be a beautiful woman in the future, but I have no interest in her.
And that's because she's an asshole.
"T-then..." She frowned. "What are you planning?"
This stupid fucking piece of shit- ah.
Now I see. No wonder she's so sceptical of me.
She's doing what I did to Azell and Noelle back in the forest, except that in her case it's genuine.
She IS the character that the original Samur was supposed to be; she cannot just accept other's goodwill, because in her entire life, she never did.
For her, my actions must have an ulterior motive behind them. They wouldn't make any sense otherwise.
Now the things I thought about her before make me look like an asshole. Shit.
It has only been a few days since I spawned in this world and I've already become the asshole so many times.
I guess that guy was right; this life really is special.
…
Hmm, no 'See I told ya!' from him?
Is he dead or what?
Anyway, let's focus on the one who's not dead (also called alive) at the moment.
"Look, I understand your apprehension. I really do."
"..." Her eyes widened again.
"I understand that due to your downright horrible life experiences, it is nearly impossible for you to believe that I'd forgive you just like that. It's a totally normal response."
"...How could you understand?" She muttered under her breath.
Looks like no one taught her the advanced tactic called 'keeping one's thoughts to oneself'.
And if she was going to mutter it under her breath, she should have lowered her voice to ensure I couldn't hear her.
This girl's a filthy noob.
"Oh, but I can, and I do, but that's not important here." I leaned in a bit. "Like I was saying, your behaviour is perfectly normal when we look at your circumstances. However, what I want you to know is that it is also normal to forgive people without expecting anything in return. That's how it goes in a family."
"A family…"
As expected, it was the term 'family' that truly caught her attention. I guess it's normal for someone like her to want a normal, loving family.
"I mean, you're going to join our guild, which means you're a part of our family." I smiled.
This should calm her paranoia down for the time being. As long as she doesn't focus on the fact that I'm forgiving her for literally taking my life, we should be all fine and dandy.
"I-I see." Despite her best efforts, a smile emerged on her face.
Looks like my diversion was successful.
Now time to go back and do something actually productive.
"Have… have I really been saved?" She looked at me, her eyes slightly moist.
Haaah, why do I have to go through this?
"That depends upon you."
"Me?" She frowned and tilted her head.
"Yupp, as long as you don't do stupid things like going to kill your father in broad daylight, you should be fine."
"Oh." She averted her gaze.
"Since we're at it, please enlighten me. What was your plan of action for assassinating him?"
"Isn't that irrelevant now-"
"Oh, it's very much relevant. Your actions today could have destroyed everything we have worked for. So please, tell me"
"What does it matter?" She scoffed. "In the end, he died right in front of my eyes, yet I couldn't do anything."
"Hoh?"
"I didn't get to make him beg for his life like I once did. I didn't get to see the fear in his eyes that I once had. I didn't get to trample on his pride like he once did on mine." She gnashed her teeth, and it was actually audible.
Jesus Christ, calm the fuck down, Lecia. Someone get her a glass of water or something.
Oh wait, I'm the only one here.
"Which is good, in my opinion."
Contrary to popular opinion, killing one's father is socially frowned upon.
"Good? Heh, like I said, you wouldn't understand."
Well, she's not completely wrong about that.
I've been in the same situation as hers a lot of times. Of course, each time I killed those who had wronged the previous owner of that body as well as me, but not once did I harbour an burning hatred for them.
I'm not capable of intense emotions like that, unfortunately.
"Well, whatever the case, the only truth here is that your father is dead, so you'll never get to kill him. So it's time to move on."
And the reason for that is me, as I sniped that faggot from a distance using a Sniper Rifle I had developed hours before in my laboratory.
Actually, I spent more effort killing him than what he deserved.
"Move on? As if-"
"Ah yes, I'm aware it's much easier said than done, but it's not impossible."
"As if-"
"Yeah, yeah, as if I'd understand that. The fact is, I don't need to. You're not the first one to have such a tragic past, and you're not going to be the last either. People other than you have moved on and are now living a happy, content life. If they can move on, then so can you."
"It's… it's…"
"The reality is that the life you've lived so far was only a fraction of your entire life. In fact, these aren't even your main years; your true life will start when you reach the age of 15."
After all, that's the age at which someone is considered a legal adult.
"It's not that easy…" Her head drooped.
"I never said it was, but as long as the possibility exists, you owe yourself a try."
If not for herself, then who will she do it for?
"And what if I fail?" Her eyes trembled.
"Then that is fine too."
If there are people who have moved on, then there are people who couldn't. And that is perfectly fine.
They are the two sides of the same coin.
"But you just said I owe myself a try."
"I did. What I mean is that you should try to move on, but even if you cannot, there's nothing to be ashamed about."
"Really?"
"Mmhmm. In the end, it all depends on you. Do you want to wallow in your past and remain the same, or do you want to grab this chance to start a new, potentially happy life. The choice is yours."
There are also some chances that her choice ultimately wouldn't matter; in the future, she might go down on an entirely different path based on her circumstances.
After all, that's what life is all about.
"Is… that so?"
Well, her confusion is normal.
Hmm, that's a lot of normal things in a day. Just what kind of life is this?
Throw something interesting at me, man.
"Well, think carefully about it. Until next time."
Which will probably be in an hour or two as we live in the same building. Shit.
"Ah, do you know what happened to that man?"
I headshotted him from a distance with a disgusting hard scope.
I need to keep this a secret or my reputation in the gaming world will go down to rock bottom.
"I dunno, can you think of anyone who'd want to kill him?"
"Mm-mm." She shook her head.
Ah! Why don't I do that?
"Hmm, maybe it was Azell."
"Eh?"
*Lecia.exe has crashed*
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