Chapter 16 - Love And Sacrifice
However, while I did do a great job, the problem is that I'm about to fucking die.
Well, that's not actually a problem now that I think about it, because I don't really want to deal with these guys anymore, but it's still kind of… sad.
I mean, my time with these two definitely wasn't the best, but it was still amusing. I got to do so many things within such a short span of time, including saving a life.
If I remember correctly, the last time I got a life with a start this wild was about a thousand years ago.
Which just reminded me that half of this life was just me wondering how I should die.
Perhaps I should seek some professional help.
Anyway, leaving them behind so suddenly and so soon leaves me with a slightly stifled heart, but that's what life is all about, I suppose.
For now, let's stop the fumbling Noelle first.
"Ms. Noe- khak!" I ended up coughing out blood.
Not ideal.
"S-Samur!" She cried.
I glanced at her, and sure enough, her face was becoming paler and paler by the moment.
I can sympathize with her. Not only does she not know what the hell is happening here, one of her comrades- who also happens to be a 12-year-old child she was supposed to protect- is on the verge of death.
And given her perceptive nature, she should have deduced from Azell's behaviour that she was somehow related to my current state.
That would explain her panicked state. She might be blaming herself right now.
Technically, she isn't wrong, but she isn't right either. Her being impaled by that axe was partly my fault and partly mere coincidence, while the decision to destroy myself to save her life was solely my own.
But then again, logic won't work in this situation. Even if I forgave her, she wouldn't be able to forgive herself.
"I'm fine, I'm fine." I barely eked out.
My shit body was about to die. The only reason I was still standing was due to my sheer will power.
But what really amuses me is that I'm standing in this situation.
Usually, the one on the verge of death would either be lying on the ground or be in the arms of someone, yet here I am, standing straight and looking them dead in the eyes while talking as if nothing had happened.
Imagine if someone walked in on us right now. They'd go 'What the fuck' and turn around to nope out of here.
"Here, t-t-t-t-t-take this." Noelle handed me some vials with a red liquid inside.
"Healing potion? These are wasted on me-"
"Please, just take them." Tears started flowing down her eyes. "Just, please."
Hot damn, alright. Why do you have to cry about it?
I silently nodded. Noelle uncapped the vial and poured its contents down my throat. She repeated it 3 more times, while Azell took the remaining potions and sprinkled them on my arms.
Hey, this is actually making me feel better.
The pain has been reduced significantly and I can breathe more easily now. It also seems to have rejuvenated my life force a little bit.
A shame it's not enough to save my life; my body is just too tattered. The problem is not my shattered arms, it's the destroyed Mana Circuit.
I exploded them by overloading before they even had the time to set in. This resulted in the annihilation of the Mana Circuits over my entire body, which damaged some of my internal organs as well.
My body is in such a mess that it'd be easier to just rewind its time than to actually try and heal it.
"Why… why did you do that?" Azell's voice trembled a bit.
Hmm, why, he asks?
"Because it seemed amusing." I flashed a smirk.
It really was.
"…Is everything just a joke to you?" He frowned dangerously.
God damn, is this their first time a comrade has sacrificed his life for them? Why do they have to be such a baby about it?
I mean, I was just trying to lift up your mood, but if you want to despair, then so be it.
"Haaah, I just kept my word."
I told him I'll save Noelle, and so I did. As simple as that.
"Weren't there other ways to do that?"
"D-do what?" Noelle chimed in.
…
What the actual fuck? I literally sacrificed my life to save Noelle's and he has the nerve to ask me whether that was the most tactical decision or not.
Thanks, Azell, your exceptional way of showing gratitude has done wonders for my confidence.
No, wait.
He's asking me purely out of worry and helplessness. He's wondering if I really needed to exchange my life for Noelle's, because he doesn't want to lose any of us.
Yikes, and now my previous words make me sound like a real douchebag.
"Do what, Azell? Tell me."
"…"
Oh, wait.
Haven't they met me like, 3 hours ago? And weren't they pointing their swords at me literally moments ago?
These two are seriously mentally unstable.
Get a grip on yourself, mate.
Their sociopathic tendencies aside, the fact that Azell isn't raising a fuss about how Noelle is asking these questions means that he knows I rewound her time. Interesting.
Anyway, time to answer his question so that he can stop with that weird, pitiful gaze (which reminds me of a puppy soaking in rain).
Not to mention that he has been giving me that look during the entire time I was dissing him in my mind, which makes up for about a minute or two.
Wow.
"Nope."
I actually lucked out that my Mana Explosion was able to take out that Minotaur-
"Wait, what about the Shadowlord?"
"You are more important right now!"
"Eek!" Noelle flinched.
"…"
"…I-I'm sorry." He immediately got a hold of his emotions. "I shouldn't have shouted like that. It's just… why are you more concerned about the Shadowlord than yourself?"
"Just curious." I tried shrugging but only ended up wincing in pain.
"…"
Geez, don't look at me like that.
"And that I basically have no hope."
Unless they had a Level 7 Healer, I would inevitably die.
"No, no, you can't give up!" Noelle burst into tears. "We will save you; we will definitely save you!"
Hmm, I've been noticing this from some moments ago, but aren't their reactions a bit… exaggerated?
My jokes aside, we haven't really spent enough time together to actually form a meaningful bond.
Our final few minutes were a bit intense, but they weren't played out appropriately enough to make them care for me this much.
It would have been different if while saving Noelle, I had gotten into theatrics and had drawn out the scenario by making a big scene of my sacrifice.
However, from Azell's perspective, I should have stood in front of Noelle for a few seconds, and then in the blink of an eye appeared behind the corpse of the Minotaur with shattered arms.
While Noelle shouldn't even have an idea of what really happened.
So their emotional attachment to me seems a bit over the top.
But then again, who am I to judge? After all, more often than not, emotions don't follow reason.
"Thank you." I gave them what I think was a gentle smile.
But they only grimaced, with Noelle biting her lips and looking away. I suppose my smile gave them the impression that I had given up on living.
They wouldn't be wrong about that, but it kinda hurts that they weren't fooled by my superb acting skills.
"Tell me." Noelle suddenly looked at me with eyes full of determination. "Did this happen to you because of me?"
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
I wonder how I should answer that.