Chapter 115: Enola Gay
Normally, you would expect the guy to steal a kiss from the girl, and the girls the one to slap him. When was my life ever normal?
Of course, a man should never hit a woman. And he definitely shouldnt hit a woman whos carrying a dagger. Jenny didnt reach for the blade at her waist, she just looked at me with surprise.
I looked away and stared intently at the ground. I could have apologised and generally grovelled for her to forgive me, that would be the normal thing to do. I hadnt hit her very hard, but that was hardly the point.
Once I took responsibility, it would be game over. My position of moral superiority would be forfeit and Id never be able to get it back.
She was the one in the wrong. Yes, I overreacted and did something terrible, but that didnt take away from what she did. Using the thing I was weakest againstaffectionto manipulate me, to get me to do whatever she wanted, was reprehensible.
Right?
I did what anyone would do when theyve made a mistake they dont want to admit to. I blamed her.
You shouldnt have done that. Its not fair. I was trying my best to sound pissed off and indignant, like I had been horribly wronged, but it was hard because what I really felt was horribly shitty about what Id done.
Jenny didnt say anything.
You you shouldnt use your body to get guys to do what you want. Great, now I was calling her a slut. Youre better than that.
Jenny still didnt say anything. I looked up from the patch of grass I had been focused on. Jenny was looking at me, very calm. Her lip was bleeding. Not a lot; a red bead had formed on her bottom lip. I must have caught the inside of her mouth on her teeth.
I reached out my hand. I can heal that.
Her hand shot out and grabbed me by the wrist. No, she was unsettlingly calm. I dont want you to heal me. I want you to look at me.
My gaze immediately returned to the ground.
Colin, you hit me.
I It wasnt I didnt mean
You hit me, Colin.
You kissed me! It sounded a lot less idiotic in my head.
What do you think of guys who hit women?
This isnt like that.
Its exactly like that. She still had me by the wrist. Her grip tightened. What would you call a guy who hits a woman, Colin?
Scum, I whispered.
Then why did you do it?
I looked up at her, angry because she was forcing me to admit my crime even though we both knew I was guilty. You know why.
Because of a kiss? You think thats why you abandoned everything you believe you are? Would you ever let a girlme or anyone elsetake that away from you?
She was right. She had kissed me, but so what? Was I a fucking child that one kiss could wreck me so hard?
What happened while we were gone, Colin?
This has nothing to do with that.
This has everything to do with that. Tell me.
She was a smart girl. Physical affection hadnt worked, but now she had a nice, solid block of guilt to work with. She was out of my league in even more ways than I had realised. I had no fallback position.
It didnt matter that she had provoked me, that I hadnt meant to hit her, that I could easily refuse to accept any wrongdoing on my part and stay in control of the situation. The only opinion that mattered was mine, and I wasnt too impressed with myself.
The laser-sharp pain in my chest I thought I had quashed glimmered to let me know it was still there, waiting.
I took a deep breath. May-May had a kid.
Once I started I couldnt stop. As I spoke, my wrist still held in her vice-like grip, tears rolled down my face. When I finished, the tears turned to sobs.
She let go of my wrist. Her arms encircled my neck and she pulled me towards her. I resisted at firstonce I allowed myself to accept her warmth, Id be lostbut she was ruthless. She drew me into her chest, my face rested on the irresistible softness and I melted.
I lied. Jenny kissed the top of my head. What I said to Claire and Flossie was a lie.
I was confused. Which part?
The part where I said I dont know how I feel about you. The part where I said I dont think about kissing you, touching you, that I havent had dreams about you all of it.
If she wanted to backtrack a little so as not to hurt my feelings, I would understand, but she was denying it all, which made no sense whatsoever. Why?
Because its embarrassing. That I could understand. If I said I liked you and then you rejected me, Id look like a fool. If I said I wasnt interested and then I ended up with you somehow, I could always say Id had a change of heart. Theyd accept that.
I pushed myself off her chest (which took some determination) and looked her in the face. Wait. Why would I reject you?
She sat up. Youve always pushed me away, right from the first day. I tried everything, but you werent interested.
So youre saying you were interested in me from the first day?
She nodded.
What are you talking about? How could you have been?
I knew it when you had the panic attack.
Youre saying thats what attracted you to me? Maybe she was mental. It was the only thing that would make it plausible.
You knew we werent back home anymore. You knew before anyone. You didnt handle it all that well, but you were way ahead of everyone else. I wanted to be on your team but you rejected me. She gritted her teeth. I know Im not a fucking princess, but you could have at least given me a chance.
The princess thing threw me little. Are you talking about Laney?
How many princesses do you have fawning over you?
Shes thirteen!
So? She wont be for long. And shes a fucking princess.
She had a real issue with the whole princess thing.
I dont like Laney, I like you. I always have.
She didnt look entirely convinced. She leaned forward and began unbuttoning my clothes.
What are you doing?
What do you think Im doing? Ive waited long enough.
I froze. She wanted to have sex. This wouldnt end well. It never ended well. Id only had two sexual partners and both had left their mark on me, and not in a good way.
It probably seems like a weird reaction. Whatever problems I might have had in the past, the girl I liked, who I found incredibly attractive, wanted to sleep with me. I should have been jumping up and down with joy. I guess the only way to explain is to tell you about the two other girls.
The first, lets call her Hiroshima, I met at a Christmas works do. I had only recently left school and started working. I was seventeen. I didnt know the people very well and was quite shy.
She was the sister of one of my co-workers who was visiting and got brought along because his wife couldnt be bothered. She was older than me, but not by a lot, and we were both far younger than everyone else. She wasnt much of a talker either but we ended up seated next to each other in an Indian restaurant in Enfield Town.
Over the course of the evening we started chatting and we got on. You have to remember this is back when I still believed my life was the same as everyone elses. A job, a girl, a place of my ownthe possibilities were endless. And I could even be charming when I put my mind to it. Well, I could fake interest in what other people were saying.
Through a series of cleverly worked manoeuvresmainly relying on her brother being very drunkI got her back to my place.
Things followed the normal course of events and we ended up naked and entwined. So far so good. My main concerns were not getting too over-excited too quickly, if you know what I mean, and not making her feel she was just some girl I picked up for a shag. I liked her.
It wasnt until she started crying that I realised something was wrong. Everything had gone smoothly up to that point, and even the joining together of our two sweaty bodies had passed off without a hitch. I was inside her, things were rubbing together in pleasurable ways, and then the waterworks.
It turned out she had recently broken up with her boyfriend, the love of her life since she was fourteen. He had met someone else and her dream was dead.
I offered to stop but she insisted I carry on. She needed this to get over him.
Finding out she didnt really like me that way and I was just a means to an end was disappointing, but sex is sex. If this was going to be how my first time was going to be, at least Id have got it out of the way. Im all about the romance.
The problem was she couldnt stop thinking about him. Or talking about him.
The things they liked to do together, the plans they had for the future, the names of their kids theyd decided on. Weeping and talking and occasionally encouraging me to keep going. It wasnt very sexy.
Heres the thing about masturbation. No matter how many times Ive done it, Ive never had a really bad one. Ive never felt like, Oh, that was a bit disappointing, think I wont bother any more. But my first time, when I did eventually orgasm, it didnt so much explode as pop.
The fluids drained out of me and that was that. I had lost my virginity but it felt more like Id been robbed.
The second time, the girl, lets call her Nagasaki, was a student nurse with a very large personality and a stunning figure.
I wasnt one for going down the pub after work, but I went along occasionally to be sociable. Yes I know, hard to believe I could be sociable once upon a time.
She was very attractive and latched onto me without my having to do anything. Which was great. We got back to mine and she made all the moves, started stripping the moment the door was closed, had me naked on the bed in no time.
The only thing she insisted was that I wore a condom and that it was properly on, which was fine by me. Nice to meet someone so responsible.
The sex started off great. As we were going at it she told me it had been a long time since shed had sex and how much she missed it.
As things got really passionate, she decided it was only right she tell me she had herpes. But it was fine because I was wearing a condom and also she hadnt had an inflammation in some time.
Obviously I felt uncomfortable and started to work on an exit strategy. I didnt want to be rude, but I didnt want my dick to fall off either. I realise herpes doesnt work like that, but I was just a kid.
Then she informed me she also had gonorrhea but it had more or less cleared up, and there was also the slight chance she was HIV positive, but she hadnt got the results back yet.
I panicked and tried to get out, but she wrapped her legs around my waist and wouldnt let go. Youd think I would at least lose my erection, but she had amazingly well developed vaginal muscles that locked on and pumped me to completion, all the while offering me reassurances everything was fine.
I went and got checked out by the doctor and luckily everything was fine, but it left me somewhat traumatised. I decided to wait for the right girl to come along, but she never did. Until now.
Jenny took control of the situation, at least for the first time. She could see I was like a deer in headlights and did all the heavy lifting. It wasnt passionate or wild, it was creating a connection and confirming our feelings for each other. It was also over very quickly.
Sorry, I
Itll be better next time
I lay on my back, bathed in sweat, every last scintilla of energy blasted out of me. What makes you think Ill be able to get it up again?
She leaned over me and grinned. Hope. Her head disappeared from view.
The next two times were much better all around. By the end of the second, with a little coaching from Jenny, I even got her to climax. After that I fell asleep.
When I woke the next morning, the light ache in my cock and the naked girl next to me were ample proof it hadnt been a dream. She was sitting cross-legged watching me.
I put my hand out and rested it on her thigh. She didnt flinch or move away, she just smiled and adjusted herself to make it easier for me to reach whatever I wanted to reach.
Her lip was still a little bruised.
You should let me heal that.
No. I want you to remember what youre capable of when you bottle things up and try to do everything on your own.
It was mean and calculated, but entirely within her rights. Well played.
You need to tell people what you want them to do. We all want to help you.
Was this how it would be from now on? Her giving me instructions. They say behind every great man theres a woman with blood on her hands. Can I tell you what I want you to do. I slid my hand along her thigh.
Yes, Id like that very much. And once you teach me how to do magic, Ill be able to My hand stopped moving. What?
I looked at her.
No. Her look of mild confusion narrowed to one of annoyance. Colin, you cant think I slept with you just to get you to teach me magic. Fucker! You do think that. No. No!
She pushed my hand off her leg and started pulling her clothes on. I cant believe you. Fuck you! You really think that? Fuck. FUCK!
She put the rest of her clothes on in a rage, and then crawled out of the tent. I hadnt said a word, but it did seem like a possibility. Certainly more likely than her being madly in love with me from the first day we met.
I sighed. Oh well, it had been nice while it lasted. I fell asleep again.
I woke to the sound of Jenny coming back in. I dont know how long it had been since she stormed out. Not long I dont think.
She began removing her clothes again. Its fine. Forget about the magic. Well just stick to sex and watching out for each other. If you feel like you trust me enough at some point, fine. If not, thats fine too. Just, no princesses, okay?
Naked once more, she crawled back into my arms and pressed her flesh against mine. Was she manipulating me? Did I care?
After we had sex again, I left the tent. It was still early and a bit chilly. The trolls stood silently waiting for us to get ready, like some Stonehenge cosplay. The others were sat around the fire looking at me. There was only one tent and it wasnt soundproofed.
Sorry if we made a lot of noise. My whole body felt different, like something had clicked in my back and I could walk straight after years of stooping.
Jenny came out behind me. The other girls got up and the three of them went off without a word.
Where are they going? I said.
Girl stuff, said Maurice. Illuminati dont even come close.
I looked at the two of them, Maurice poking the fire and Dudley checking over his arrows. They were relaxed and calm even though death could be right around the next corner. Content men or doormats?
I suppose you heard everything.
And then some, said Maurice.
I should coco, said Dudley.
Maurice pushed his slipping glasses back up his nose. And then Jenny came out here and started calling you all sorts of names. The girl has a very filthy mouth. Congratulations.
Thanks.
Do you really think she only slept with you so youd teach her magic?
When put like that it sounded pretty cold and heartless. I dont know. Maybe.
Maurice shook his head. Well, nobody else thinks that. We all offered to teach her instead.
Oh. They might not have been as proficient as me, but they knew the basics well enough. That must have cheered her up. It explained why she came back into the tent.
Not really. She refused. Said it had to be you. If you didnt trust her there was no point.
If she wanted to learn magic, she could easily from the others, but then why hold out for me to do it? Either she genuinely wanted me to trust her, or... maybe she was playing the long con.
Do you love her? asked Dudley. He usually said little and even more rarely instigated a conversation, so I was surprised by the direct question.
I think so.
Dudley gave me the sad smile of a fellow sufferer. Then what does it matter? Its already too late for you. Teach her magic. If she betrays you, so be it.
At least shell be able to take care of herself after she kills you in your sleep, said Maurice.
They both had enormously open hearts when it came to the people they loved. Idiots. I had no intention of being defeated so easily.
We have visitors, said Keezy all of a sudden, nearly making me jump out of my skin. He was looking high into the air.
I followed his gaze but couldnt see anything. Dudley stood up and nocked an arrow to his bow.
Put that away. If you anger them were all dead.
After some intense squinting I could see three figures, maybe more, approaching. Who are they?
The Draconic Guard. Cheng must have sent them.
As they got closer they looked like winged men, only not men. They had reptilian heads with large crests that ran all the way down their backs and along their tails. Their leathery wings flapped in long slow movements.
The girls returned to find us all staring at the sky and joined in.
Fookin hell, said Flossie. Dragon men.
Even with a wingspan like that, they shouldnt be able to fly, said Maurice.
Neither should the bumblebee, I pointed out.
Thats a myth. If you perform an extremely crude calculation, sure, but a full aerodynamic computation will show that the bumblebee's flight operates perfectly within the laws of physics.
Six of them landed a few metres away, sending up much dust and debris, and the largest one, who was blue, stepped forward.
Ah, little Keezy. Its been a while. He was larger than Keezy by no small margin. And the Worm King. Ha ha, who would have thought it would be young Kungen?
What do you want, Hitokag? said Keezy.
Not you. Which one of you is Colin?
Him, I pointed at Maurice.
Hitokag ignored where I was pointing and walked up to me. He stooped to get a better look. His body radiated heat so intense I had to take a step back.
Hmm. He didnt sound impressed. Cheng has summoned you. You will come with us.
Id rather not, if its all the same to you.
He sent this. He held out a scroll.
I took it and opened it. There was one word written on it:
Please
Which was surprising, but not as surprising as the fact it was written in English.
AN: I'm taking a week off. Next chapter will be up on RRL on Wednesday 27th July. For more details and other news, please check out the next post which can be found HERE.
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