Chapter 481 CH 467: WHAT IS YOUR NAME? (2)
Even though it seemed like Adam was having an easy time dealing with Fenrir at the moment, the reality couldn't be farther from what it looked from the outside.
Was it really easy to infiltrate the Sea of Subconscience of someone else?
The answer was that— it really depended on the person in question. So, whose mind infiltrated was a big factor in answering that question.
The variable here was the strength of the resistance that the person's mind showed.
The current resistance that he was going up against to invade Natasha's mind was extraordinarily immense. Just existing and projecting his consciousness inside this place was extremely difficult for him and was causing him to lose a lot of energy.
As if that hurdle wasn't enough already, Adam was currently considered a sort of virus that needed to be erased from this sea of subconscience, and the immunity and innate defense set up by the conscience were unnaturally high. It seemed to be a sort of slow-acting poison that was corroding his mind the more he stayed inside. It was most likely the god killing the poison of Fenrir or simply remnants of its old glory.
'I feel like I am melting.'
Adam complained inwardly as he persevered through the immunity system of this host's conscience.
He understood now that he had truly underestimated this operation by a great deal. Just staying here was an endurance check in itself and if Adam had not elevated his Dream avatar to the level of a [Rock] piece in the Dreamscape, he had the feeling that he wouldn't have been able to last long and endure the current situation.
'If I had to fight in those conditions…'
Defeat. Absolute and complete defeat was the only logical conclusion of such a scenario. Even though he blocked the paw with ease earlier, the more he fought the faster he would tire himself out and he would undoubtedly lose and be negatively affected by Fenrir's poison.
This mission was a clear trap from the start with very little chance of success and fighting would have only been truly possible if he reached the level of a Knight piece in Dreamscape.
So then, the question here was, what did Adam need to do right now?
He needed to win without fighting and the only way to do something like that was through discussion with the entity inhabiting this conscience.
But then came the question… Could he discuss with a mindless entity that was named the Fenrir's Shadow?
At first, Adam had been stumped by this situation. This was at least the case until Takoda used his Phantasm Realm and then Adam understood that he had seen the situation from the wrong angle all along.
[Unnamed Entity]
[Temporary Name: Fenrir's Shadow]
[Age: 21]
[Number of crimes: …None]
[Punishment: None]
Those results may have been funny as they clearly highlighted the inherent weakness of Takoda's realm, but for Adam, this was nothing short of being a godsent.
Takoda's Phantasm Realm had judged that the entity was a real being and not a corporeal shadow of another being.
The name Fenrir's Shadow was nothing more than a name chosen in the absence of a real one rather than its true identity. Its age was even 21, the same as Natasha and it was considered to have committed no crimes whatsoever throughout its existence.
The reason why Adam, Lycaon, and Takoda had been excluded from judgment was because this realm was simply unable to judge them due to their true identity and some exploit. But in the case of Fenrir's Shadow— it was truly an innocent soul.
It was not a mindless entity.
It was not even a monster.
It was a new self that had been born inside Natasha. A new personality. Something or someone that existed outside and separated from Natasha herself.
It was— a person born and accused of sins it had never even committed. The pitiful entity was hated and distrusted by everyone around it for no reason outside of its origin.
It was truly a tragic soul.
… It was someone worth talking to. Someone worthy to be negotiated with.
This was why,
[You… do not want to kill me?]
When Adam heard those words, delivered to him in a feeble and feminine voice… He knew that his bet had been right. He had won this bet and had indeed interpreted the signs correctly. And all he had to do now was to capitalize on this chance.
"I do not."
[Why?]
The creature seemed seriously confused by his lack of battle intent. It was as though the mere thought of Adam not trying to kill it was beyond its level of understanding.
"Why should I?"
[Because I am a monster.]
"..."
[Because I am hated by everyone.]
"...."
[Because I am dangerous.]
"I see. I understand. You may be right. But you see… You are no more a monster than I am."
Adam flashed the entity a toothy grin and spoke of his feelings regarding this matter,
"I do not hate you nor want to harm you."
He took a slow step toward the pitiful entity.
"And… You are not dangerous in my eyes."
He stopped when he saw the wolf take a step back and growl toward him, but he did not show any signs of fear or anger. Much less hesitation or any signs of surprise and agitation.
He simply started looking at the surroundings, observing it with his keen eyes.
"This is a beautiful place. Though it's a bit too cold for my liking."
This was truly a beautiful place when you did not take into account the poison that was seeping into his mind and trying to eat him alive.
Adam was sure that even if he left this place, he might fall into a coma if he went past a certain threshold. There was a limit to the time he could be in this place.
The Sea of Subconscience was the reflection of one's inner heart. In this place, there was no lie and no exaggeration.
This beautiful landscape of snow and ice reflected the heart of the Wolf standing in front of him. It was the mind of someone who had never known anything but the cold loneliness of the world.
Even though he received no response from the Wolf, Adam was not discouraged and showed no impatience.
He was not a good man, neither was he a saint who got a kick from saving others. He was enduring all this pain with the hope of saving Natasha without having to fight the being in front of him.
But— he also wanted to save the poor soul.
An entity that had never asked to be created and was destined to suffer for reasons it might not even understand.
Truly a pitiful soul it was.
"By the way… How long have you been awake?"
[I do not know. I have not been able to observe much of the outside world.]
There was a wistful longing in her voice even as she spoke those words. As well as a hidden pain deep in her voice that reflected her wounded heart— a victim of endless loneliness and despair.
Based on Takoda's realm, she was 21 years old as of now. This means she had been existing and living alone in this place for all those years with no one to help her or talk to her.
"It must have been hard. You are very strong. I cannot even imagine what I would have done if I was in your place. Well done."
He praised her with a serene smile on his face. Even in this place, his talent for words came in handy. The Soothing Voice he had purchased a few weeks ago when still dealing with Hae-Won was proving itself useful once again with this turn of events, making Adam realize once again the power of words.
Adam continued praising her for a while. While making sure not to do too much and incur her displeasure. He knew very well how important words of praise and encouragement could help in making people lower their guard. But it could also act as a double-edged sword, working against someone if they overdid it.
"By the way. You still haven't told me your name. I still don't know if I should call you, her, or hey. Calling you Fenrir's Shadow also a mouthful don't you think?"
[...]
"..."
The Wolf looked down at the small human in front of her with curiosity and bewilderment in its gaze.
She could see it. The small smoke that was billowing from his body.
She knew very well…. That he was currently battling the poison that existed in her mind.
Her common sense told her that he should hate her. After all, she was inflicting him pain and threatening his very existence.
But all she could feel was a pleasant warmth inside his heart. There was some coldness hidden deeper inside, but this coldness was not directed at her.
This was weird.
This was strange.
This was so foreign to her.
This was the first time she was praised.
The first time she was talked to like someone intelligent and not a mindless animal that needed to be put down.
It felt ticklish. As if small butterflies were flying in her stomach.
Because of this. For this very reason. She hesitated.
This feeling was so sweet…. Should she squash him now? Enter in another battle? Or should she embrace and enjoy this feeling a little longer?
In the end, her desire trumped the instincts that were screaming at her to fight. Perhaps it was thanks to her body battling outside, but the overwhelming darkness and desire for destruction that always inhabited her was nowhere to be found or simply too faint for her to care about.
Lowering her height a little more, she gazed at the small man while asking herself.
What was her name?
She searched in her memory. Far far into it.
But she realized one sad thing.
She —
[I do not have a name.]
— was never named by anyone.
Only known as Fenrir's Shadow.
Only called Natasha's dark side.
Even the form of identity she had did not truly belong to herself. Nothing more than a tag-along.
Her lead hung low as melancholy took over her being.
"Then…Would you like me to give you a name?"
[Hum…?]
He did not wait for her to answer as he continued,
"I have been interested in old Norse language for some time now. So I have quite a few ideas. Of course, those are just proposals. If you do not like them you can refuse."
[A name… A name, huh… Do I even need a name? ]
"Of course you do. A name represents an identity. It may not be able to show others who you truly are. Nor what you are inside. But a name is your very first belonging in this world."
[Then…]
"For the courageous wolf who fought alone in a cold world for years with no one to support you. For the magnificent wolf who never gave up even though no one stood by her. For the mighty wolf who has the potential to break even the limit of the world itself…"
She started to stand taller. She liked the compliments Adam was adding to herself. It made her even more ticklish than before. It made her feel complete.
"If you wish so… You name shall now be— Hugrúnulfr. Which means The Courageous and Beautiful Wolf or Hugr for short" [1]
He ignored the pain that was slowly becoming unbearable and kept a smile on his face.
He did not know if she would accept this name or even like it.
But — He believed the meaning behind it suited her more than anything else.
[1]: Breakdown: Hugr (Courage) + ún (Beautiful) + ulfr (Wolf) For once, there is no myth attached to this name. I had to create it using a name generator and so on. I don't even know how you would spell this honestly.
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