Chapter 169: What It Means to Live (2)
If Jeon Dae-Geuk wanted Kang Chan to answer his call even though the latter was with Michelle, then it had to be for something urgent.
Have they found Wui Min-Gook?
Kang Chan answered the call without saying anything.
He pressed the ‘answer’ button in front of the imbeciles who were looking at Michelle. Their eyes showed that they felt sorry for her.
- Hello? Is this Kang Chan?
“Yes it’s me, section chief. I wasn’t able to talk to you earlier because I was told that you’re busy. I left my phone somewhere else as well.”
- How are your injuries?
It seemed Jeon Dae-Geuk didn’t call to tell him about Wui Min-Gook.
“It got a lot better. What’s going on?”
- Chan.
He was the first person from work to call Kang Chan by only his name. Kang Chan really liked it, though.
- We have not experienced this yet, so I thought I should call you because you might know about this.
“Tell me what’s going on.”
Why is he acting like this?
- General Choi called me and said that the men’s eyes weren’t relaxing. He doesn’t know how to get them to relax. It’s not like they’re causing problems, and they’re acting the same as usual, but their eyes are still glinting so much it’s as if they’re about to explode. We have never experienced this before, so we don’t know how to handle this. Do you know what’s going on?
Kang Chan couldn’t answer.
Is it because we’re all Korean or because we became close through extreme training?
The only people whom he had shared these kinds of emotions with for almost the past ten years were only Dayeru and Gérard.
- Can you guess what’s going on?
“Yes.”
- What are we supposed to do?
“I’ll go there right now.”
- Right now?
Jeon Dae-Geuk sounded both happy and sorry at the same time.
“Will President Kim Tae-Jin make it?”
- Don’t even worry about that.
“He’ll know where to go if you tell him that I’m at the coffee shop at the intersection. We’ll leave as soon as everyone gets here.”
- Thank you so much. I’ll call General Choi as well.
After dropping the call, Kang Chan asked the agent for Kim Hyung-Jung’s number not only because he didn’t have his phone but because he didn’t have anyone’s number memorized due to his habit of jotting things down.
- Hello?
“Manager Kim, it’s Kang Chan.”
- Hello, Mr. Kang Chan!
“Can you call Seok Kang-Ho’s house and tell him to come to the coffee shop at the intersection? Tell him we have somewhere to go to. I can’t call him myself because I don’t know his number.”
- Alright.
Kim Hyung-Jung seemed roughly aware of what was going on, so Kang Chan didn’t have to talk much.
The agent accepted the phone back from Kang Chan, then politely said goodbye and left the terrace.
Michelle didn’t ask questions and only observed Kang Chan’s mood.
“I have to go somewhere,” Kang Chan said.
“Alright. Will your leg be okay?”
It was quite comfortable to be around Michelle at times like this, especially since she accepted Kang Chan’s work.
“Your guests will be coming here, right? I’ll leave first, then.” Michelle stood up, then opened her arms while looking mischievous.
It’s not like she’s trying to tantalize the guys around us.
“I’m sorry,” Kang Chan said. He lightly hugged her and patted her back.
“Bye!” Michelle said.
When Michelle left, people looked away. It was as if a scene in a musical just ended.
Kim Tae-Jin and Suh Sang-Hyun arrived while Kang Chan was smoking a cigarette. As if they were competing on who would get to the coffee shop first, Seok Kang-Ho arrived not long after. Kang Chan stood up and greeted them, then he bought coffee and sat down at his seat.
“What’s going on?” Kim Tae-Jin asked Kang Chan. It seemed he wasn’t fully aware of what was going on yet.
“The men haven’t gotten over the battle yet, so I’m planning to visit them.”
“Does something like that really happen?” Unlike Seok Kang-Ho, who immediately understood what Kang Chan meant, Suh Sang-Hyun looked perplexed.
“Didn’t they accomplish something great? Why can’t they still get over it?” Kim Tae-Jin asked again.
“They’re probably feeling guilty because of what happened to Choi Jong-Il and Cha Dong-Gyun. I couldn’t control my expression either. Right now, they’re also forced to make up for the emptiness that Seok Kang-Ho, Choi Jong-Il, Cha Dong-Gyun and I left behind.”
Kim Tae-Jin nodded. “Let’s hit the road now unless you’re not ready yet.”
“Sure.”
They decided to take only one car, so they left Seok Kang-Ho’s in the parking lot.
“I don’t remember something like this happening when we were working at the DMZ,” Suh Sang-Hyun commented.
“We didn’t experience large-scale battles back then, did we?” Kim Tae-Jin responded.
“Is that why?” Suh Sang-Hyun clearly wasn’t aware of such emotions.
The bigger and more intense the battle, the greater their sense of loss.
Despite making a great achievement, their guilt about what happened to their fellow soldiers were just as prominent as their happiness.
They could not help but think,?‘How can I be happy while someone is dying?’, ‘Does this make me a bastard?’, ‘Why couldn’t I keep them safe?’, and ‘If only I fought a little better!’
Kang Chan could already guess what the soldiers were feeling.
Those fuckers.
Kang Chan realized that he genuinely cared for them.
He couldn’t believe that people like them existed—people who would feel as distressed as he was because their brothers-in-arms were wounded instead of being happy about their accomplishment.
Suh Sang-Hyun drove on the highway with the sirens on.
“Did you get some rest?” Seok Kang-Ho asked Kang Chan.
“Yeah. I slept like a rock. What about you?”
“My wife and daughter told me that they thought our house would collapse because of how loud my snores were.” o
They talked about various other matters inside the car as they quickly sped through the road.
***
Going past the barricades and around the mountain path, a familiar barrack came into view.
When the car stopped, Choi Seong-Geon opened the barrack’s door and approached them so fast it almost seemed as if he jumped out.
“Welcome, sunbae-nim and Mr. Kang Chan,” Choi Seong-Geon said.
It was already almost six in the evening.
“Where are the members?” Kang Chan asked Choi Seong-Geon.
“They’re eating.”
“We’ll also eat first, then”
“Sure.”
Choi Seong-Geon looked like he wanted to talk first, but he didn’t stop Kang Chan.
Led by Kang Chan, they headed to the cafeteria.
Screech.
When they opened the door and went inside, they immediately felt the gloomy atmosphere land on their shoulders. The soldiers’ gazes shot straight toward them.
Kang Chan looked at the soldiers, then took a food tray and scooped some food into it.
He still found it uncomfortable to walk.
Kang Chan got some soup, a bunch of stir fried pork, kimchi, and seasoned vegetables.
Click.
Kang Chan put the food tray down in front of Kwak Cheol-Ho, then slowly looked around.
The soldiers looked angry and suffocated. The look in their eyes showed that they felt bad about something. At the same time, they also looked happy to see Kang Chan, Seok Kang-Ho, Kim Tae-Jin, and Suh Sang-Hyun.
“We fought against the Spetsnaz, the SBS, and China’s White Wolves and task force,” Kang Chan started.
Choi Seong-Geon came over with a food tray. He carefully put it on the table and quietly sat down.
“None of you probably expected that we won’t ever have to make sacrifices during operations like the ones we’ve gone on. Just as how none of you were afraid of death, Choi Jong-Il and Cha Dong-Gyun likely weren’t either,” Kang Chan continued.
The members sat up straight. It was as if they were being taught.
“Experience will be passed on. Everything that you all went through during the operations will all be passed down to your juniors and to those who find it unfair that they couldn’t participate in the operation. Even the emotions that you can’t get over right now will be passed on. Kwak Cheol-Ho,” Kang Chan called.
“Yes, sir?”
“In every mission we take, there will always be a chance that someone could die. If you die, will you resent those who survive?” Kang Chan asked.
“No, I won’t, sir!”
The members gritted their teeth.
“You guys fought well. We succeeded in an operation that seemed completely impossible. The two people fighting for their lives right now would not want any of you to making such expressions!” Kang Chan exclaimed.
Choi Seong-Geon examined the members’ expressions. As he glanced at Kim Tae-Jin, Kang Chan added, “What would Choi Jong-Il and Cha Dong-Gyun think if they saw South Korea’s best special forces team looking like this? You all are supposed to run out tonight or even right now during a meal if you guys are ordered to!”
Suh Sang-Hyun never imagined that Kang Chan would act like this. He didn’t think that Kang Chan would calm down South Korea’s best special forces team.
He didn’t know Kang Chan had this side to him. He even thought Kang Chan was arrogant when he first met him.
“Yoon Sang-Ki!” Kang Chan called.
“Sir!”
“If there’s an operation tonight, will you be able to go?”
“Yes, sir!”
“Even though you might die?”
“Yes, sir!”
“Will you resent the members who survive the mission?”
“Never, sir!” Yoon Sang-Ki’s answer was low, husky, and heartbreaking.
“This is what experience is like! It's a heartbreak that mock battles and live ammo training can’t give you! The Spetsnaz, the SBS, and the White Wolves are glaring at you all! Survive so that none of you will feel ashamed to meet your fallen comrades!” Kang Chan exclaimed.
The skin around Choi Seong-Geon’s eyes became red.
“You are the special forces team that is supposed to be responsible for South Korea, so don’t lose to anything no matter what you’re up against. Never back off.”
As the soldiers’ faces and eyes grew red…
“What’s our motto?!” Kang Chan yelled.
“If I can!” the members fiercely shouted loud enough for the dividers in the cafeteria to shake.
“Protect the country with my blood!”
Before they knew it, Choi Seong-Geon and even Suh Sang-Hyun were shouting the motto at the top of their voices with them.
“I am!”
The cafeteria rumbled.
“Happy!”
Silence took over after their fierce shout.
They felt deeply touched, but they felt that much embarrassed as well.
“See? You all did great, so why do you feel bad?” Kang Chan asked. When he sat down and picked up his utensils, they started to eat again.
“Sunbae-nim,” Choi Seong-Geon softly called Kim Tae-Jin, who was picking up his chopsticks to control his emotions.
“Thank you.”
Kim Tae-Jin just smiled pleasantly in response.
***
“Where are you fuckers going? This is upsetting,” Choi Seong-Geon cheekily approached the open area in front of the barracks with a paper cup and cigarettes. “Come here! Why are you guys so stiff during our break?”
There was no way the soldiers wouldn’t know how Choi Seong-Geon felt.
Meanwhile, Kang Chan and Seok Kang-Ho were shamelessly exhaling cigarette smoke.
“Is your leg okay?” Yoon Sang-Ki asked.
“Yeah,” Kang Chan answered.
They had not completely gotten over their emotions yet, but at this point, they would go back to normal in a day or two.
After a while, an adjutant An adjutant came looking for Choi Seong-Geon in front of the barracks. “General! Someone is on the phone. They want to talk to you.”
“Who is it?”
The atmosphere became a bit better when Choi Seong-Geon left.
As Seok Kang-Ho grinned and patted a soldier’s shoulder…
Whe-oo! Whe-oo! Whe-oo!
… sirens sharply went off.
The soldiers threw away the paper cups and cigarettes and ran into the barrack.
A moment later, Choi Seong-Geon entered with a grim look on his face.
“What’s wrong?” Kang Chan asked.
“I was told that we should be on emergency stand-by.”
Is it because of Wui Min-Gook?
“Have they found him?” Kang Chan asked again.
“I wasn’t told anything more than that.”
It at least meant that there was a possibility that they had found where Wui Min-Gook was hiding.
“Will it be okay for the men to go out on an operation in this state?” Choi Seong-Geon asked.
“It’s going to be okay. They’re second to none no matter where they’re deployed.”
Choi Seong-Geon nodded, then looked at Kang Chan with a puzzled expression. “Where did you get this kind of experience, Mr. Kang Chan?”
“I’m a classified government secret.”
“Haha.” Choi Seong-Geon decided to just be thankful that they had soldiers like this.
“We’ll get going now,” Kang Chan said.
“Thank you, Mr. Kang Chan. What about the soldiers?”
“They’ll be fine.”
Choi Seong-Geon smiled instead of answering.
As Kang Chan was about to get in the car, the soldiers jumped out already armed to the teeth.
They had regrets, but Kang Chan saw greater determination in them.
Kang Chan raised his hand and tapped Yoon Sang-Ki’s helmet.
Kim Tae-Jin and Suh Sang-Hyun patted the helmets of the soldiers who were near them as well.
There was no need to say anything at times like this. When the soldiers’ helmets shook with a tap, everyone’s emotions—including the people leaving and those staying at the barracks—were completely passed on to each other.
***
The road toward Seoul was empty, unlike the road heading out of Seoul.
During the trip, they called Jeon Dae-Geuk twice with Kim Tae-Jin’s phone, but Jeon Dae-Geuk didn’t answer.
Something was definitely going on.
On the radio, a reporter said that China’s economic sanctions had been completely removed and that China would closely cooperate with South Korea to make sure that a misunderstanding like this would never happen again.
“Fortunately, the soldiers settled down before something like this happened,” Kim Tae-Jin commented.
“We should find Wui Min-Gook quickly,” Kang Chan responded.
“He’s a North Korean special forces soldier, but that doesn’t mean he can just recklessly provoke us. After all, we still have the security and the section chief has put in place effective countermeasures.”
“I see.”
“Anyway, when I saw the soldiers, I noticed that they have completely fallen under your command.”
Kang Chan couldn’t help but smirk. Strangely, his blood heated up when he met the soldiers.
He was still in denial, but he already genuinely cared for them.
Little by little, the traffic on the highway became heavier the closer they got to Seoul, but that didn’t become a big problem.
Kim Tae-Jin and Suh Sang-Hyun left after they dropped off Kang Chan and Seok Kang-Ho in the parking lot.
Naturally, Kang Chan returned home in Seok Kang-Ho’s car.
“Us not having a phone is really frustrating,” Seok Kang-Ho commented.
“Endure it for just one day. They said that they’ll find them tomorrow. Call my house or manager Kim if you run into any problem.”
“Alright. By the way, is your leg okay? We should’ve gone to Director Yoo, but we didn’t even have time to go see him today.”
“Go home. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Kang Chan said.
“Alright.”
Kang Chan parted ways with Seok Kang-Ho and went home.
He was worried for nothing––Kang Dae-Kyung was already home.
“I’m back,” Kang Chan said.
“Did you have dinner with Michelle?” Yoo Hye-Sook asked.
“No—I parted ways with her earlier because I had to work.”
“You still got called to work even though you didn’t have your phone?”
“I met my co-workers by chance.” Kang Chan didn’t prepare for this conversation, so he just kept giving absurd answers.
“Let’s watch a movie together. It’s been a while. The movie that I’ve been wanting to see is also airing today,” Kang Dae-Kyung tactfully butted into the conversation, changing the atmosphere.
“Why don’t we also order chicken?” Kang Chan asked.
“Yeah.”
Yoo Hye-Sook looked happy as she listened to Kang Chan and Kang Dae-Kyung’s conversation.Things that Kang Chan never got to experience in his past life were now around him—and the more he had of them, the more he remembered when he went on operations.
What do Choi Jong-Il, Cha Dong-Gyun, and the agents think when they’re with their families? They do know that more than ten of them are sacrificed each year…
After ordering chicken, they talked about China’s announcement. Meanwhile, Kang Chan cracked his neck due to an uncanny feeling he was getting.
He first looked at the living room window.
Badum-badum. Badum-badum.?
Damn it!
Of all occasions, his intuition was telling him that something bad was going to happen when he didn’t even have his phone and while he was sitting with his parents in the living room.
They won’t shoot a Mistral or an Igla from the apartment across from us, will they?
Ding-dong. Ding-dong.
The doorbell rang.
Yoo Hye-Sook flinched, and Kang Chan quickly stood up.
“Channy?” Yoo Hye-Sook called Kang Chan in surprise, then noticed the look in his eyes.
“Mr. President! It’s me, Assistant Manager Kim!”
They heard the voice of an agent who was guarding Kang Dae-Kyung.
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