Chapter 69: Chapter 2
December 11th (Friday) – Ayase Saki
The shortened homeroom ended with the teacher stepping out of the classroom, and the tense atmosphere abruptly relaxed. My classmates began discussing their Christmas plans prematurely, and I busied myself checking through the answer sheet I had just received. I had scored a total of 815 points, which is a pretty satisfactory result.
"Sakiii! Your face tells me you've scored quite well in the examination, Sire!" Maaya jogged over toward my desk.
"Sire…? Were you watching another historical anime again?"
"I am who they call the Failing Grade Samurai."
"I can already see you getting mown down during your first encounter."
"Maybe ronin would sound cooler?"
"Both are fine. Both will get you sliced immediately. Also, can we stop with the whole samurai stuff already?"
"Hmph, then we can just go with… Erm…"
"Again, I don't care either way."
She seemed oddly fixated on this whole historical act, but as I personally couldn't be bothered, so I just ignored it and moved on.
"You're as cold as ever, Saki! We're almost halfway through December, so can't you at least warm up a bit during this season? Then I'd stick to you like a moth to a lamp! I wanna see a warm and puffy Saki-tan!"
"Can you not treat me like a stove? So, how did you fare?"
I was talking about her exam results, of course.
"801! No yakuza, no oaths, and no identification! That's all I'm gonna say1!"
"What does that even mean?"
"Since you're such an innocent li'l Saki, you get a candy!"
"Sure, sure."
Maaya took out non-existent candy and placed it into the hand I offered her.
"You've gotten a lot better at playing along with other people's jokes! I guess I've gotta thank Asamura-kun for that."
"Why'd you suddenly bring him up out of nowhere?"
Maaya didn't respond. She simply grinned at me. I realized too late that I had been baited. But no matter what I say now, I fear she'll just make fun of me again, so I just sealed my lips tightly and dealt with the shame.
"And how about you?" Maaya asked.
"I got 815 points."
"Ohh! No wonder you made such a victorious grin! That's amazing."
"I wasn't making that sort of—"
…Or was I? I may have had that kind of face. I feel like I did. I could tell that my cheeks were loose enough to move on their own. And I think I sounded pretty excited, too. And as if to answer my thoughts, the people around us grew noisier, too. They were saying things like "The air around Ayase-san is different from usual…" and "That's the first time I've seen her smile," and so on. You're joking, right? I must have smiled before today, right?
"Why are they all acting like they're seeing a rare animal at the zoo?"
"I mean, that attitude of yours is on par with a metal slime when it comes to rarity."
"Can you stop using examples I don't understand…?"
"I'm saying that you usually act like THE cool beauty. But it's not something as cool as that, and more like you're simply insensitive and you don't care if people like you or not. Even though you're super sensitive when it comes to what other people think of you."
Maaya's words may have sounded like harsh stabs where it hurt, but she's not wrong. I personally was just surprised to hear this much positivity coming from my classmates.
"A 14-point difference, huh? Almost there… I'm definitely not gonna lose next time!"
"Yeah, yeah."
"Kaaaaah! Your shit-eating grin is even more annoying just because you won against me once!"
"I'm not grinning, okay?"
"So, Saki."
What is it now?
"Your birthday's coming up, right?"
"Ah, yeah. So?"
Her expression of frustration and defeat vanished in an instant and she seemed oddly excited when she asked me that. It's honestly tough keeping up with her at times, considering how quickly and how often she changes the subject.
"I wanna give you a present! But I dunno what you'd want!"
"You don't have to give me anything."
"But I will! I definitely will! I so so will! I wanna because I wanna!"
"Right."
"Actually, isn't Asamura-kun's birthday soon, too? You said it's pretty close to yours."
"His birthday is one week before mine."
"He?!"
"That's just a third person pronoun. Calm down."
There was absolutely no deeper meaning to that, geez.
"Huh? But if that's the case…"
"On the 13th."
"That's the day after tomorrow! Aww, man! Why didn't you tell me?!"
"Huh…? I mean…sorry?"
"So you both have it on a school-free day? And I can't exactly invite someone else's boyfriend on a Sunday to give them a present…"
"Again, he's not—"
"So if he's just your brother, can I ask him out somewhere?"
"…No."
She kept grinning at me, but I decided to give no comment on the reason. I'd rather just have her think that I'm a brocon.
"Then you'll just have to give him my present instead."
I'm sure Asamura-kun would be fine not getting a present. But Maaya's the type of person who's super bothered by that sort of thing. And it's not related to the fact that she's friends with his step-sister. This is just the way she ticks. And since I knew that, I can't just refuse her offer.
"If you're looking for a present for Asamura-kun, I think anything chill is fine. Either way, we're gonna hold both our birthday parties on the 24th along with our parents."
"So you'll be together with your brother for Christmas!"
"Are you still going on about that?"
"Guess I can't get between the two of you, then. What a shame. I was hoping we could meet up on Christmas."
"I'm fine like this, okay? And don't you already have a party planned with everyone?"
"Huh? Oh, I've got some other stuff to do that day—"
Oh, really? I guess that's not a thing, then.
"Well, you know! Even if I threw a party like that, it'd be crawling with couples! I don't wanna spend my Christmas like that! Haha!"
…Hm?
"Really?"
"Yep, yep! Since we're in high school now, it's not weird for people to have those types of relationships here and there, right?"
…What was that pause about? Maybe Maaya's already got some kind of special relationship with a special someone? I don't think she'd tell me, at least… Would she?
"Those types of relationships…"
"Are you interested by any chance?" Maaya asked as she shoved her face close to mine, which caused me to frantically shake my head.
"Welp, it's still a bit too early for you, Sakicchi."
"Why are you acting like a senior now?"
She flashed another grin, which almost caused me to burst out with a bewildered "No way!" but I know her. This is a leading question. Or rather, a leading expression. She's not leading me anywhere, but that face alone almost caused me to slip up. Narasaka Maaya really is a dangerous individual. She manages to carry secrets herself while easily digging up those of others. And my thought process is weird today. Knowing Maaya, I figured she'd tell me if she had someone like that. And if she doesn't, then that means it's actually pretty normal to keep that sort of relationship a secret. Plus, I don't even know if Maaya is going out with someone or not.
The stressful time at work ended in a heartbeat. Yomiuri-san didn't come to work today, which is pretty rare. Thanks to that, we were ten times busier than usual. We were practically leashed to the cash register, not even able to check on anything inside the actual store. When I looked up, I saw the various lights covering the trees standing at the side of the road. The seasonal music coming from the stores was almost drowned out by the employees declaring ongoing sales. It really makes you realize that Christmas is right around the corner.
As Asamura-kun walked next to me, he kept his bike closer to the road, slowly pushing it along as he matched my pace. Lately, we've been walking home together like this when we finish work. But his hands holding the handlebar looked awfully cold. I asked him why he wasn't wearing gloves, and he responded that it made him feel like his hands would slip from the handlebars. He spoke about it in terms of safety, but he also mentioned that he might have to wear a helmet and gloves eventually because of school regulations.
"Then you definitely need some," I said with a bit of bewilderment, and in response he said he'd look into it.
"You're not wearing a scarf, either. Aren't you cold?"
Naturally, one reason I had asked this was because his neck looked as cold as his hands, but I was more curious if he actually owned a scarf or not. After all, a scarf would make a perfect present for a birthday. However, Asamura-kun explained that wearing a scarf while riding would be even more dangerous. I guess he's right. But even so, I couldn't let his hands stay freezing like that, so I opted to place my hand on top of his. It didn't do much since I was wearing gloves, but it should at least protect his hand from the cold breeze.
Shortly after that, we entered a small side alley, away from the main street. The number of lights around us grew fewer, with barely anyone walking past us anymore. That's probably why I had managed to pull this off. It's all thanks to nobody looking at us. Even though I was just placing my hand on his, my heart started pounding like crazy. I was worried that he might feel my pulse on his hand, but at the same time, I was hoping for that to happen.
"How did you do on your exams?" Asamura-kun suddenly spoke up, which caused my heart to almost leap out of my chest.
"Ah, um, I got 815 points."
"You're getting better and better, huh?"
So he said, but his score was 819 points. I know it's not that big of a difference, and we weren't competing or anything, but the first words that left my mouth were—
"I lost again…"
Why is it that I don't want to lose against Asamura-kun when it comes to scores? My own competitive spirit surprised me. I must have sounded fairly disappointed and frustrated, because Asamura-kun, nice as he is, began saying that this difference was just because he attends prep school, and he even praised me for coming this far in modern literature after receiving a failing grade months ago. He even said I'd easily pass him if I attended a prep school myself.
"I have no plans of going there."
"Well, it costs a lot, so I understand."
That's one part of it. But the bigger reason why I won't take him up on his suggestion is that I can't show my own weakness to others. I'm scared of just relying on others unconditionally. And I haven't learned the skill of actually doing that, either.
"If you ever change your mind, just let me know. I'll help you get prepared for everything."
But since Asamura-kun was so supportive, I started to feel regrets. Money and my disposition are one thing, but the biggest reason why I'd rather not attend his prep school is a completely different one—I'm worried that I won't focus on classes and will just stare at Asamura-kun the entire time. Of course, there's no way I could tell him that. I'd die of embarrassment.
Our flat came into view, which allowed my head to finally return to regular working mode. More specifically, I started pondering what to make for dinner. Asamura-kun and I both came home at the same time, after all. And because of our shift, I had no time to come home earlier to prepare anything. The only thing we have that I could get ready quickly is…
Or so I was thinking, but when we entered the apartment, we were immediately greeted by a plastic bag standing on the table in the living room. It turned out to be food that my stepdad had bought. Some vegetables, sweet-and-sour pork, gyoza, and pepper steak. I could feel my cheeks relaxing. What an insightful act. I don't know if Mom asked him to do this, but knowing Asamura-kun's father, he may have very well come up with the idea himself. I prepared everything on the plates as Asamura-kun got the rice and soup ready. Then we ate.
Right after that, we realized that we used different sauces for our gyoza. We exchanged them so we could both have a taste of the other person's, but as I thought, I still don't really like soy sauce too much. I think he also eats his fried eggs with soy sauce, right?
Oh yeah, something caused me to hesitate then. It was when I borrowed his sauce. It made me think "Wait, isn't this…?" but I quickly took a bite anyway. Getting flustered over an indirect kiss? And this is even more indirect than just regularly indirect… and I'm still conscious of it? What am I, a grade school kid?
In the end, we both continued to eat in silence. Just when I felt like I couldn't bear the silence any longer, Asamura-kun brought up the subject of birthday presents. This made me happy, so I responded in turn. When I said that I didn't need a special gift or anything thoughtful, Asamura-kun gave me a dubious look. But if this relationship isn't going to end someday, then we still have the memories we created together. If we can obtain new precious memories each and every year, then I think that's enough of a present to have. After all, these memories shine much more brightly than anything of physical value.
The reason I came to think this way is probably because of my father. He was always obsessed with monetary or physical value. When I was still young… When he was still kind to me, Mom and I gave him presents pretty often. And when his company started moving into an office building for their employees, he got engrossed with this kind of value. After a while, he began saying stuff like "You live thanks to what I've bought, yet you still complain?" He was tied down by monetary value. That's why I'd rather not get anything like that.
But that's only half of it. The other half is because I remember the moment I saw Mom's back when my father left us. Her back was quivering as her shoulders were hanging low, but when she turned around to hug me, she showed no tears. She didn't want me to worry. But even so, I could feel her grief. I still can't fully believe that this emotion I feel, and that this relationship we share, will last forever. And if there is ever a day when it all comes crashing down, then I'll just feel more pain at looking at all the mementos I have. That's why I don't want any presents like that.
…It's very much like me to think about the pain of losing something before even receiving anything.
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1In the original, it's "Yama mo ochi mo imi mo nai," and if you take the initial character from yama, ochi, and imi, you get yaoi (BL).
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