Chapter 61: Chapter 9
30th of October (Friday) – Asamura Yuuta
We'll be getting a day off school tomorrow, and that also lines up with Halloween. In light of that, you could feel the excitement filling the classroom when lunch break rolled around. Some people prefer Christmas Eve in terms of festivals, and I've even seen an anime where the last day before the cultural festival is repeated over and over. That probably explained why my classmates were brimming with anticipation. It's not like I don't get where they're coming from. Once the day of the festival arrives, you can't help but think that the end is approaching.
That being said, I'm surprised that my classmates are looking forward to Halloween this much. I could hear conversations about it here and there. 'What costumes should we wear? Where should we party?' Many more questions like these floated around me. Only the radius of 30cm around my desk was free from this mood.
"Yuuta. Got a minute?"
"Err… what's up? You're scaring me."
Shinjou entered the classroom with a serious expression on his face that I hadn't seen him make before. Something told me that this wouldn't end well.
"I'd like to talk about something. Can we step out on the balcony?"
"You want to talk with me?"
"Yep."
"Hold your horses, Shinjou. You're not planning something bad, are you?"
"Not at all. I'm dead serious. Please, Tomokazu."
"Hmph… Well, if Asamura's okay with it, then I'm not going to stop you."
"I'm fine, let's go." I got up from my seat and headed to the balcony with Shinjou.
Because of how cold the season was, no other students bothered to step out during our lunch break. I could only see a few students below me, so my first thought was that maybe we didn't have to come all the way out here to talk in secret.
"The thing is…" Shinjou spoke up. "After the Halloween party our class is going to hold, I want to go to a second party with just Ayase."
"…Oh, really?"
Since we both had a shift that day, I already knew she wouldn't be able to participate, but I pretended that I was unaware of that. I didn't want anybody else to know where she was working.
"But there's one thing I'd like to check before that."
"Which is?"
"Yuuta, you like Ayase, right?"
For a moment, I wasn't even sure if I kept my mouth shut, or if he heard me going 'Huh?'. It felt like all of the noise around me vanished. All I could look at was Shinjou as he held onto the guardrail. I could see the veins on his wrist, so I knew he must be asking that in genuine sincerity. I imagine that he's nervous. And I was surprised by how serious he was. The way I saw him, Shinjou Keisuke is a smart guy. He's popular for a reason. All his approaches toward girls are brimming with confidence, giving me the feeling that he wasn't focused on a single girl. Even his act of wanting to be friends with me, albeit with an ulterior motive, seemed like a top-of-the-mind decision, something he'd do on a whim just because it seemed interesting. I had forced my views and misconceptions onto him.
Yet his gaze right now was straightforward, with no hesitation. He wasn't making fun of me, and he didn't attempt to deceive me either.
"As a sister?"
"You know what I mean. I didn't come here to ask you about that, and you should know that much, right?"
"Let's say I give you an answer to that question. What will you do then, Shinjou?"
"Depends on the answer."
He showed no intention of backing down or running away. Even if I ignored his conviction, though, I didn't know how to respond. Ayase-san and I had never clearly defined if our feelings were of romantic origin or simply part of familial love. It's such a vague concept in my mind that there's no way I could explain it to somebody else. It made me realize how convenient labels such as 'lovers' or 'siblings' truly were. Can I confidently declare that I like Ayase-san? Right here to Shinjou?
When she embraced me on that day, the relationship that was born, and the definition that originated from it, was that of siblings who simply get along quite well. It shouldn't be any different than what Shinjou and his little sister have. And despite that, can I really confess my feelings right here, and act like we're a couple already?
…Is that really what's important right now? My thoughts ground to a halt. I don't know how Ayase-san feels about all of this. But what about me? Let's go through this with an example. Depending on my answer, Shinjou is going to continue his approach with Ayase-san. Is that what I want? Would I be happy for them if he invited her on a date, and I watched her walk away with him?
Do I like Ayase-san or not? If I didn't know it any better, it almost seemed like this was Shinjou's way of giving me a push. Our vague relationship may not be a thing that can be categorized with terms or ideas, but I could give it many names as long as it was just part of my world and hers. That being said, when somebody else questions me about it, just like Shinjou is right now, I can't rely on our vague definition. I'm sure he expects an expression that both of us can understand.
In reality, I have nothing definite that would allow me to declare if what I feel for her is romantic affection or just care for a little sister. But if somebody forced me to give them a definite answer between the two of these, then there's one I'd rather choose.
"Shinjou, I don't mind giving you my answer, but I want you to promise me something."
"What is it?"
"This is just my own personal answer, and it has nothing to do with how Ayase-san feels. The relationship we have can't easily be put into words, so I don't want you to jump to some kind of conclusion."
"R-Right… I don't fully understand, but sure."
Even if either Ayase-san or I came to the realization that we were romantically attracted to each other, this is nothing more than our own individual perception, something that shouldn't be publicly declared. We're just siblings, not lovers. All we can do is continue to express ourselves that way, and Ayase-san does not acknowledge me as her boyfriend. At least, not at this very moment. However, there is something I can say myself.
"I know for myself—"
If I can't make him give up on Ayase-san without defining my vague feelings, then I have to use his own words to make them clear for him.
"—that I like Ayase-san. Is that answer enough to satisfy you?"
Now that I had put it into words, everything clicked. I wanted Shinjou to give up on her. That was how I genuinely felt. The instant I became aware of that, I realized that I had a desire to form a relationship with Ayase-san that went one step beyond what we currently had.
I suddenly became worried about how Shinjou would react and glanced at his face. Since I'd never had a rival in love up to this point, I couldn't even fathom what attitude he'd have towards me. Would he be angry or sad? Would he start sulking? …Lots of possible situations floated around in my head, but none of them ended up being close.
"I see."
His expression was oddly…neutral. Even the tone of his voice made it sound like he had expected this answer from the get-go, or that he had played it out this way in his head earlier. It was just…eerily calm.
"Thanks for the answer, Yuuta."
"No problem."
"I'll catch you later."
"Gotcha."
Shinjou stretched, turned his back towards me, and started walking. After I watched him walk off back to his own class, I pondered for a bit and looked outside once more. What did he feel when I said that? How will he act from now on? These are things only he will know. But his words of gratitude felt genuine to me. I'm sure that we'll make it through this in some way or another. Or…am I acting too self-important by just assuming that? At the very least, by openly stating my feelings for Ayase-san, it felt like I had gotten stronger and gained confidence.
Upon returning to the classroom, Maru raised his gaze from the textbook on his desk and spoke to me with a concerned tone.
"What were you talking about?"
"Just some stuff. I can't give you the details, but things should be cleared up now."
"Hm…Well, if you say so." Maru still didn't seem fully convinced, but also didn't question me further.
The silence in our conversation allowed me to hear our other classmates talking with each other. Something about a party in Shibuya tomorrow. Trying to ignore that topic, I decided to ask Maru about something.
"Do you have any plans, Maru?"
"On Halloween?"
"Yep."
"I'm not going to some kind of gathering of party-goers."
So he said, but when I asked him if he had any plans in general, he mentioned that he had been invited out to karaoke.
"Do you want to come too, Asamura?"
"I've got a shift at work so I can't, sadly."
"Gotcha," Maru commented and didn't even try to invite me.
The reason we've been friends for so long despite me not actively trying to make acquaintances is most likely because he knew when to back off. He's the opposite of Shinjou in that sense. I guess I've grown as a person, though, since everything worked out with Shinjou, too. That being said… a lot of my classmates have plans in Shibuya tomorrow, huh? Yet Ayase-san and I have work at the bookstore near the train station both today and tomorrow. I know I'm probably worrying about it a few minutes too late, but the way Shinjou acted makes me hope he at least won't tell Ayase-san about what I said.
And even more than that, I wouldn't want any weird rumors to start going around. I'd rather not be seen by our classmates. Considering the size of the crowd, it'll be hard to make out the faces of the people around you. But since we're both working at the same time, I'll have to escort Ayase-san home once our shifts are over. In other words, we'll still have to pass through the crowd. I wonder how we'd look to others in that scenario. We should probably be careful during that time.
Once classes ended, I went home for a quick stop and then made my way to my work. Considering the crowds that were building up near the train station, I really didn't want to bother using my bike. The closer I got to the train station, the more people I saw wearing costumes. There was a witch wearing a black, gothic dress while holding a broom and a zombie with an axe sticking out of his head. I thought I saw a normal group of women, but they had bandages all over with blood dripping from their mouths…
Halloween is supposed to be tomorrow, right? If this were the intro festival for All Saints Day, then Halloween is like Christmas Eve. And yet the majority of people had already started the festival today…or is it just me? Well, whenever customs are adapted to new regions, their original intent and ideas are usually twisted into something else. It happens a lot, really. However, seeing it happen in front of your own eyes never ceases to be surprising. It's almost like Shibuya itself had turned into a giant haunted house. It's like a parade of a hundred demons over here.
I arrived at the bookstore and immediately mentally prepared myself the moment I entered. I could see several customers loitering around that were wearing similar costumes to the people I had encountered outside. Do I have to live through this even though it's the day before? And if that weren't enough, after I changed into my uniform, the manager handed me some weird kind of hat.
"Here you go, Asamura-kun."
"What…is this?"
"A hat."
It was a crown with what looked like peeled bananas hanging down from the sides, that was meant to be as comical-looking as possible. It's what you'd call a jester cap.
"…I have to wear this?"
"Yep. It's Halloween, after all, so at least for today and tomorrow. It's part of our customer service."
Can you…really call this service? When I looked around, I saw the manager and all the other part-time and full-time employees were also wearing this cap. It was quite a surreal sight. Maybe taking both shifts for today or tomorrow was my first mistake. I realized I had no other option but to put on the cap and make my way to the back of the store. Since it's Saturday and Sunday, we didn't have any new releases coming in. Most of them had been delivered on Friday, and even if we opened up space on the shelves, there's no way they would all fit in there. And since we also couldn't pile up the thick magazines to create large mountains, we can only slowly work on filling the shelves whenever we find space. Basically, refilling the stock whenever something is sold.
"Coming in!" I called out and entered the storage room with the leftover stock.
"You're late, Junior-kun."
"Hello there, Asamura-ku—san."
"Oh, you two are here already."
The two people already in the storage room, filling the cardboard boxes on the cart, were Yomiuri-senpai and Ayase-san. It seemed like they had gotten here well before me. When I looked at Ayase-san's face, my heart skipped a beat, my body stiffening. I was reminded of my conversation with Shinjou, which made the blood rush to my head. I've already started thinking of Ayase-san as a lover in my head. There's no use in reflecting or agonizing over my actions.
"Junior-kun, you're late! Late, late, late!"
"Wha…?"
That's impossible…!
"You still have five minutes, Asamura-san. Don't worry."
"Oh thank goodness."
I checked the time on the click inside the storage room, which proved Ayase-san correct. Yomiuri-senpai was just playing pranks on me again, huh? Yomiuri-senpai had been crouching down while filling the cardboard box with new magazines, but she stood up, stretching her arms as she did so. She made it seem like she had been working for hours, but I'm pretty sure her shift had just started, like mine.
"Getting old, Senpai?" I teased her a bit as revenge.
"Gaaaah! Did you hear that, Saki-chan? He's treating me like some kind of grandma!"
"You did say that you were tired before he came in, so I don't blame him."
"Y-You backstabbing…Waaah, waaaaaaah! You're so cruel! Whose side are you on, Saki-chan?!"
"Crying doesn't work too well when you look like that," Ayase-san said.
She's not wrong. Fake crying while wearing a jester cap really doesn't have much of an impact. She looks like a genuine clown now.
"My oh my, haven't you gotten used to work, Saki-chan. I see, I see. I guess I need to change my attack strategy, then."
"I believe you have the choice of just not attacking at all?" Ayase-san said.
"I don't. That'd be boring as heck, so it's time for an all-out offense!" She seemed to think she was a warrior heading off to war. She turned her back toward Ayase-san, walking in my direction.
She held both her arms forward, wriggling her fingers like tentacles.
"Hehe! Junior-kun, trick or treat! If you don't give me candy, I'll play a prank on you!" She said, approaching me like a zombie.
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle went the grapplers.
"Halloween is tomorrow, remember?"
"How naive! With a festival like this one, you can't let down your guard even the day before! Otherwise, you'll be haunted by something sinister! Now bless me with your sweets!"
"You're just saying that because you want some candy, right? Also, I don't particularly like the idea of a festival where zombies crawl up on me."
"You still intend to disobey meee?!" She suddenly turned around and started clinging to Ayase-san from behind her back. "Feast your eyes upon this! I have taken her hostage! If you don't give me anything… I'll have my way with your little sister!"
"Wha, hey. Um, you're t-tickling me…"
"Heh, heh, heh. This is what bad girls get if they don't offer me candy!"
Yomiuri-senpai, you sound like a balding middle-aged man.
"Let's stop it right there, shall we? You're treading dangerous ground when it comes to workplace harassment. I understand already. You just want some candy, right?"
The instant I finished my sentence, her movement stopped. What a greedy little…
"Good, good, my dear Junior-kun. You'd better remember this. Whenever you see me with your adorable sister, you are to always keep some candy in your pocket."
What kind of older brother would do that? Ever since she found out that Ayase-san and I are step-siblings, she's been teasing us like this. Fine, then. You'll get your candy.
"Okay, I'll bring some to work tomorrow, then."
"Oh, that's a promise! And if you break that promise…"
Yomiuri-senpai freed Ayase-san from her grasp, only to stagger toward me again with her hands up in the air.
"Today was just a preview! You'll see something even crazier tomorrow!"
"Sure, sure, I get it."
With these jokes out of the way, the clock in the room signaled that our shift had begun.
"Ah, it's time. Break time's over! Junior-kun, Saki-chan, back to work! Hup, hup!"
"You're the person who did the least amount of work, remember…?"
That being said, once she actually started working, the difference in experience between her and us really showed. Not to mention that she had already checked the shelves and bookcases, stuffing the magazines that were sold more frequently into the cardboard box. We moved between the storage room and the main bookstore several times, filling up the shelves when it was time for us to take a break. While drinking a cup of water in the office and talking about this and that, we naturally ended up discussing Halloween tomorrow.
Since it's on a Saturday, you'd normally go out and about or stay at home having fun, but for us three and our shifts, we can only do that sort of thing before and after work. Yomiuri-senpai mentioned that she'd be meeting up with her friends from the university after work to take a stroll around Shibuya in costumes and go out for karaoke after that. As you'd expect from a university girl, she's totally cool with hanging around at night. Apparently, even the assistant professor she studies under will be participating. Said professor apparently wanted to see the youngsters loose from up-close.
"She said 'This is academic research, my dear Yomiuri-kun,' but I feel like she just wants to party and needs an excuse to do so."
"Is that the same professor from before?" Ayase-san asked with an expression like she knew who it was that Senpai was talking about.
"Good guess. That's Kudou-sensei, all right."
"Ah… Okay, I see."
When Ayase-san heard that name, her attitude changed. Yomiuri-senpai made a bitter smile which made me think that they knew something I didn't.
"I guess she left quite the impression?"
"Are all professors like that?"
"Hmmm… I think she's an exception. She's famous for acting outside the range of common sense and careful thinking. She's that crazy-genius kind of type."
"Well, she's definitely no angel, that I agree with."
Just listening from the sidelines made me feel terrified of that professor. Also, wait a second…
"Is that the professor you had tea with before? At that pancake shop, I mean."
"Oh right, you were eavesdropping on us back then. Yeah."
I really wish she wouldn't paint me in a negative light like that in front of Ayase-san. I just happened to pass by and had heard their conversation.
"Either way, I'm worried we'll get fewer students applying to our university if she keeps up that act~!" Yomiuri-senpai sighed.
Meanwhile, Ayase-san muttered something under her breath.
"Maybe not that much, I guess."
I'm not quite sure if Yomiuri-senpai heard her, to be honest.
"Really, she's such a troublesome professor," she said, but she was smiling nonetheless.
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