Chapter 54: Chapter 2
19th of October (Monday) – Ayase Saki
Shortly after midnight, I once again found myself lost in thought. The main thing on my mind naturally was the promise Asamura-kun and I made on the day of the cultural festival… that we'd head out and go somewhere. Just the two of us. Ever since then, my mind had been filled with questions such as where to even go, how to invite him, and what there was for us to do.
The biggest problem of all was Asamura-kun's attitude. The way he interacted with and around me filled me with anxiety that he may have forgotten about our promise, which is why I am agonizing about it in silence. It made me feel like I was the only one who was constantly thinking about it, that I was the only one who genuinely was looking forward to it, and this caused me to toss and turn in my bed over and over. Come on, I'll end up missing precious sleep if this continues. So I keep telling myself, and yet…
It's Monday already. Once I wake up, it'll be time for school. I pulled my blanket up over my head and forced my eyes shut. I need to sleep. It's time to sleep… I kept telling myself. I was still telling myself this when my phone's ringtone pierced through the silence.
"Oh, come on now…"
I grabbed my phone to check who'd bother me this late, which unsurprisingly turned out to be Maaya. I had a LINE message from her.
"What time do you think it is?" I grumbled to myself as I ran my eyes over her message.
'I can't sleep, help meee!'
You too? I sighed to myself and typed a response.
'Sleep.'
'But I've been thinking about it for hours on end now! I just watched a video and the guy in it said something so weird!'
'What did he say?'
'He said "We've thoroughly confirmed everything!", which in itself is fine, but think about it! When we are sure of something, we use 確 followed by the verb of compiling something with the kanji 認 to form the word 'confirm' and the kanji 確認. It's been like this forever. Yet the fall 落 from a horse 馬 is what we put together in 落馬. The kanji for the verbs are switched, and it's driving me nuts!"
Who the hell cares about that?
'So I was thinking; what if we changed that up? But the deeper I went down the rabbit hole, the more messed up my head became! It makes me want to stop using that phrase!'
That mattered even less than her previous dilemma.
'Go to bed.'
'Nooo! Let's think about this together!'
'Why are you watching videos at this hour anyway?'
I asked her that in the heat of the moment, and Maaya immediately returned a lengthy message explaining the reason. Maaya would always send messages that are dense in content. I'm always a bit surprised how quickly she can type them up. To sum up what she told me in a few words, she had watched the late-night anime she couldn't miss, which is why she was wide awake. In an attempt to get sleepy again, she started watching someone's livestream, which achieved the opposite effect.
My very first comment on that would be: Don't involve your friends in your own problems. Secondly, I'm pretty sure there are streaming services that allow you to watch anime episodes on demand. There's no actual reason to stay up late to watch them anymore. And Maaya herself had made that very argument not too long ago. So why did she have to watch the episodes in real-time?
'I do use streaming services like that, but it doesn't beat the feeling of watching them in real-time! The feeling of being connected to all sorts of people across the world as they watch the same anime episode as you are and feel the same emotions in that very moment is something you can't easily replicate!'
'You have no way of knowing if they're feeling the same emotions, do you?'
'Bla bla bla! Don't spoil my fun, Sakinosuke! I do most humbly have to admit I am unquestionably disappointed in you!'
Sakinosuke? Is that me? When did this turn into a historical drama?
'…Ah, my fingers are all tired now. I'm gettin' cramps.'
How do you get cramps from texting?
'If you're still up, should we call instead?'
Again, don't drag me into the mess you've created… Sheesh. I was really hoping to get some sleep, but I happened to coincidentally remember something I'd been meaning to ask, so I agreed. The instant I sent her my response, the notification for the incoming call popped up on my phone. So fast. She probably had her finger on the call button.
"Aloha, Saki~"
"Did you move to Hawaii?"
"I'm feeling lonely so I wanted to warm up my dampened mood with some good vibes."
"…I'm gonna hang up."
"Ahhh, nooo! Pay attention to meee! …Oh, also."
"What is it now?"
I was surprised by Maaya's sudden change of tone.
"Saki, there's something you wanna ask me, right?"
"…Huh? No, not at all."
"Reallyyy? You usually go through life at your own pace, so normally you wouldn't agree to a phone call this late, right?"
"Ack."
"And I figured you said 'yes' because you need my advice on something, no?"
"Seriously… sometimes you're way too sharp for your own good." I sighed in defeat.
I was thinking of guiding the conversation in a direction that'd allow me to ask it naturally, but my good friend seems immune to such techniques.
"I knew it."
"Well, you know… Let's take a hypothetical scenario where you're going out somewhere with a random boy."
"Going where?"
"Um, the place doesn't matter much. You just want to go anywhere with this boy."
"Okay, I got it."
"How would you invite him in a natural way?"
"Are you going out somewhere with Asamura-kun?"
Wha?!
"I-I never once mentioned Asamura-kun's name, right?"
"Saki, you wouldn't care about some random person, right? If it weren't somebody close to you, you'd act like the world's greatest sniper and keep your distance from everyone with a cold attitude like the second ice age befell all of humanity."
"…Is that how you see me, Maaya?"
"I mean, Asamura-kun would be about the only person who'd make you worry and concerned about inviting someone out."
That's not…
"Shinjou's attacks have simmered down as of late, so it's gotta be Asamura-kun."
"Maaya. Before you get any weird ideas, even if we assume that this boy is Asamura-kun, the reason we're heading out together is definitely not whatever you're thinking."
"Oh really now?"
I don't think I've ever heard such a distrustful comment from anyone in my entire life. I subconsciously gripped my phone harder than before. Maaya continued talking with a dubious tone of voice.
"The excuse is crucial here. If you don't have a genuine-sounding reason to invite him, it would make it sound like you have an ulterior motive, and it'll cause them to be more cautious."
"I don't have any ulterior motives."
"Hmmmm…"
"Again, that's not—"
"Then that's even more of a reason to come up with a good excuse. You don't want him to reject you, right?"
"Well… I…"
I hadn't even considered that possibility. But she's right. Why did I never even consider that? Maybe Asamura-kun doesn't actually want to head out somewhere with me. He never brought up our promise again after that day, after all. What should I do if he actually says no?
"Just for example... Hey, are you listening?"
"Ah, yeah, of course."
"Two days from now, your friend named Narasaka Maaya will be celebrating her birthday."
"Ah, congrats."
"So flippant! And too early!"
"Should I have told you on the actual day instead?"
"I don't mind. Anyway, you could use this as an excuse to invite him. Say that you want to buy a present for Narasaka Maaya's birthday party, you know?"
"You're planning on having a birthday party?"
"Not at all. Or more accurately, I didn't… I was thinking that maybe I could hold one so that you have an excuse."
"Isn't that too much effort on your end?"
"Not at all. After all, it'd only be you and Asamura-kun who'd come."
Can you actually call it a birthday party then? How is that any different from just visiting her place like we'd sometimes do anyway?
"That's what makes it great. You don't have to be nervous, and neither does he. And you've got the perfect excuse to invite him!"
I see. I've been to Maaya's place before, and if it's under the pretense of Maaya's birthday party, Asamura-kun surely wouldn't be as hesitant.
"But are you sure?"
"About what?"
Unlike me, Maaya's popular at school. If she said she was holding a birthday party, she'd gather participants not only from our class but across the whole school. I wouldn't be surprised if she held a party every year, to be honest. So when I asked her about that, she explained that with the sheer number of possible attendees, she wouldn't even be able to fit all of them under the same roof, thus forcing her to reject people who want to attend. To her personally, she'd rather not hold a party at all than hurt people that way. Seriously, how perfect can she be? She cares about everybody equally.
"But this time around, my only goal is to support the blooming love between you and Asamura-kun, so this much should be fine~"
"Again, it's not what you think."
"Anyway, I'll be sending Asamura-kun an invitation after this. Also, keep it a secret that I'm only inviting you two. It'll be a surprise for him, tee hee."
I heard her giggle from across the phone when I checked the time. It was already past 2 am, and my shoulder poking out from beneath my blanket was starting to feel a bit chilly.
"Oh man, it's already this late… What if I'm late tomorrow…"
"I can recover fully with a minimum of three hours of sleep!"
"Are you fit enough after that?"
"Are you worried about lil ol' me? I'm fine. I'm still sleeping a total of six hours."
When do you get those six hours, exactly?
"I'm not too fond of that… I'd like to get up before Asamura-kun to tidy myself up."
"Looking perfect 24/7 isn't going to earn you any bonus points. Show an opening here and there, and I'll bet he'll find it cute. Adorable, even."
"That's not…"
Back during the cultural festival, I realized that I'm not very skilled at showing cuteness like that.
"Well, I get what you mean, but…"
"Ohhh! Are you finally being honest with me, Sakippe?"
Again, who's that?
"Boys secretly like that kind of stuff, or so I've been told."
"Oh, oh, oh! News flash! Who'd you hear that from? Oh, right. Then you should take a detour to go home to change before you come to the party."
"Even though it's just us three?"
"Surprise is the best spice, after all! And that'll allow you to go on a date two days in a row, right?"
It's just a random birthday party, there's no reason to go all the way, geez.
"…I'm heading off."
"Okaaay. Nighty-night!"
We said good night to each other and ended the call. It's all teasing and teasing when I'm dealing with Maaya, geez. But… show some openings, huh? Is that necessary so that he'd call me cute? No, there's no way. Think about it, Ayase Saki. You shouldn't put that much faith in Maaya's words. Purposefully showing sleaziness will only backfire. I think.
I pulled my blanket up over my head once more, forcing my eyes shut—Yeah, there's no way.
To the surprise of no one, I overslept the following morning. Worst of all was that I ran into Asamura-kun on the way to the bathroom… while still wearing my pajamas. God, that was so embarrassing. When I looked in the mirror, I had crazy bed hair everywhere. I felt like I would die from embarrassment. How could I create such an opening myself?
As for Maaya's birthday party, Asamura-kun brought it up himself during breakfast. He asked what we should do about it. All the words I had come up with ahead of time were reduced to atoms. My heart was beating so hard that I was worried he might hear it from across the table. I focused really hard on keeping composure and responded.
"I was thinking of celebrating it with her. What about you?" I returned a question.
I had planned to nonchalantly bring up the talk of buying a present, but Asamura-kun got the jump on me. I was terrified. I genuinely thought he could read my mind. He then commented that this was his first time giving a girl a present. I see. So he'd never had someone like that before… Wait, why do I feel relieved to hear that? Well, Mom's the only person who's ever got presents from me, so I'm not one to talk. I steeled my resolve and brought up the question I'd been meaning to ask.
"Would you like to go buy presents together?"
I think my voice was shaking when I asked that. At first, Asamura-kun responded with a blunt "But," which made my chest tighten up to the point it hurt. However, he didn't say no. Instead, he seemed to be worried that people from school would spot us if we went shopping somewhere near here. I felt the same. After thinking about it for a brief moment, Asamura-kun proposed that we could go somewhere a bit further away to enjoy our shopping trip. I replied with a faint nod.
"Do you remember what we talked about during the cultural festival?" I carefully asked.
Asamura-kun is a kind person, he might just be on board with this in order to buy a present for a friend of mine. But he responded with—
"Of course."
I'm so happy. I'm glad I went ahead and confirmed it thoroughly.
I'm still working part-time at that bookstore. Lately, I've been on the same shifts as Asamura-kun. Today, there are three of us. Yomiuri-senpai and I were tasked with manning the cash registers, whereas Asamura-kun went to make room for the new incoming magazines. As the line in front of my register decreased in length, I found myself glancing over towards Asamura-kun. Yomiuri-senpai naturally called me out on that and started to tease me, saying that I must be interested in "Junior-kun" after all. I vehemently denied her accusation, saying that it was just happenstance.
"Really now?"
Yet again, another person who has close to zero faith in what I tell her. Since barely any people were there wanting to buy something, and since we were fairly bored as a result, she probably decided to strike up a conversation.
"Halloween's pretty close, isn't it?"
"It's on the 31st, right?"
"Yep, at the end of October. Because Halloween is the small festival before the big event—All Saints Day."
"All Saints…what?"
"All Saints Day, which is November 1st. It's the day you pray for all the saints in the world. The day reserved for all the fools is April 1st."
"April Fools' Day, you mean?"
"Exactement. For all the April fools. But, we don't call November 1st November Saints' Day, right? Or do we? Do you know anything about that?"
"No, sadly not."
"Anyway, Halloween's a big thing here in Shibuya."
The topic was tumbling and rolling all over the field, but this was nothing new when talking to Yomiuri-senpai. I've finally gotten used to following her strange trains of thought. Her thought process is terrifyingly fast, as a matter of fact. Well, she's always bumping heads with Assistant Professor Kudou, so I'm not surprised at that. I thought back to the day I attended her university's open campus event and I found myself feeling slightly disheartened.
"Halloween's the event that turns Shibuya into the city that never sleeps."
"You're not wrong. It's been feeling a lot like the Holy Land with all the costumes as of late."
Especially the city center of Shibuya, which always gathered enough costumed people walking on the streets to warrant a broadcast about it. The crowd is always so dense that you'd always be bumping into someone.
"The crowd is honestly nauseating. I definitely want to avoid the city center during that time."
"Saki-chan, there is a reason why we poor human beings have to force our way through the city center despite all that."
"Wait, really?"
"Because we have work."
Ah. I remember now. Both Asamura-kun and I have shifts on the 31st. I guess Yomiuri-senpai's another victim like us.
"How about we at least have some fun and wear costumes during our shift?" She asked.
Despite being at work still, I shook my head as fiercely as I could. How preposterous.
"I'm sure you'd look cute dressing up as a witch with a triangular hat, you know?"
"Cute…?"
"Ah, bulls-eye?"
"Not at all," I tried to act calm, but my words had no strength to them whatsoever.
Yomiuri-senpai once again used this opportunity to tease me, saying "I knew you were thinking about Junior-kun," which made the blood rush to my head. As if that wasn't bad enough, Asamura-kun returned from his work at the bookshelves.
"I'll take over for the maintenance," I blurted out and ran away from the cash register.
…He didn't think that was weird of me, right?
Later, we made our way home. The air was cold, which made it feel like winter had arrived. I rubbed my hands together to keep them warm. Asamura-kun was walking next to me, pushing his bike along. Moments like these truly show how my lack of humanity. I can't even come up with any topic to talk about. I failed to brew up a conversation he'd enjoy partaking in. Instead, I just searched for a way to make him think I wasn't completely lost. The best I could do was blow warm breath on my shivering hands.
He praised me, saying that my clothes looked good on me… He's probably trying to not make me feel bad, right? I shoved my hands into my pockets, gripping them tightly. I finally managed to force the words out of my throat.
"I'm looking forward to going shopping tomorrow."
I'm going to cry for real. Why am I like this? And yet, Asamura-kun—
"Me too."
—Responded with that. I felt embarrassed, thinking I was the only one who was excited, but he immediately agreed. I glanced at his profile while he walked next to me, filling me with joy. I slightly opened and closed my hands inside my pockets. Finding a conversation topic that works both ways is so difficult. Instead, we just ended up walking our way home in silence. But I guess this isn't so bad, either.
When we opened the door to our apartment and distanced ourselves from each other, I was hit with a wave of regret.
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