Chapter 14: Chapter 1
16th of July (Thursday)
On this summer morning, my still-sleepy body felt like it was covered by a thin, invisible membrane. My senses felt dulled by the humidity and heat. Giving in to the inertia caused by the A/C I had just turned on, I moved like a mechanical puppet devoid of any emotions, simply wiping the white wooden dining table over and over.
As was often the case, my parents weren't home this morning. Ayase-san made her way in from the kitchen with two plates in hand and set them down on the table that I had just finished wiping. Instead of our usual white rice, sodden-looking toast was upon these plates.
"…Bread with soy-flavored boiled greens?"
"French toast." Ayase-san gave me the dish's actual name with an indifferent tone.
Still lost as to what that meant, I just muttered a confused 'I see' in response. Of course, I knew what french toast was. I hadn't eaten it before, but I knew of its existence thanks to the fact that it appeared in some of the books I had read. That being said, the tragedy of this situation was that even if I knew the term, I was still unable to have an actual physical reaction to its existence in the real world, since I had never seen the real thing.
"Judging from its name, is it some French dish?"
"It originated in America."
"You sure know a lot, Ayase-san."
"At least I think that's what it said on the menu at a family restaurant I ate at once."
It was probably one of those seasonal menus that describes each of the dishes extensively. But the origin of the dish didn't really matter at this point.
"How do you even eat this?"
"I put them there for you. Don't you see them?"
"With a knife and a fork?"
"Yup. Then again, you could eat it with your fingers or with chopsticks. It's not like anybody's watching; we're at home." Ayase-san spoke nonchalantly, but I couldn't see her completely as a member of my family yet. I'd probably embarrass myself if I made a mess while eating.
She's like a stranger to me, not to mention that she's a girl in the same year as me. She's really beautiful on top of that, so I can't exactly show an unsightly side of myself.
"Cutting bread like it's some kind of steak sure feels odd, doesn't it?"
"Really? It's not as bad if you tell yourself that it's just cake, in my opinion."
"Now that you mention it…"
Being able to look at things from every angle like that sure is an impressive mental feat. With this philosophical argument out of the way, we focused on our meal. I got a taste of eggs and salt, which combined to create a sweet sensation on my tongue. I was thinking about how to convey my impression of the food when Ayase-san glanced at me.
Oh?, I thought to myself.
When I looked at Ayase-san, who was sitting directly across the table from me, she had a face devoid of any expression as always. However, her movements when handling the knife and fork lacked her usual skill and refinement, which made me think that maybe she was concerned about something that was pulling her attention away from the meal.
"What's wrong?"
"Eh?"
"I don't know. It looked like you were pondering something."
"…How perceptive." Ayase-san gave a bitter smile as she looked over at the calendar hanging on the wall.
It was a calendar Akiko-san had brought with her when they moved in with us. It had a picture of a cat rolling around, which was probably intended to have a calming effect on the person looking at it. I think she got it as an insurance trade when she arrived at the bar she worked at. Since both my old man and I basically lived off our smartphone calendars, we had never had one hanging around, but she had put this one up last month next to the dining table with the reason 'This wall looks lonely'. Ayase-san glanced at this proof of women living in our household and opened her mouth.
"I think it's today, right?"
"What is?"
"The day where they announce the results of the end-of-term exams. My class is today, I think."
"Ahh, right, they still aren't done announcing those yet."
"Yeah. Though there's only one subject left."
Naturally, the fact that both of us had a new family and the resulting changes to our lifestyles weren't enough to excuse us from our normal student life at Suisei High. We still had to focus on our end-of-term exams, which happened in the beginning of July like every year. Naturally, Ayase-san and I didn't pay much attention to each other's studies; we focused solely on our own. We had promised each other to not be too pushy with each other, nor too distant, so of course we didn't know anything about each others' exam results, and we didn't try to find out, either—Until today, that is.
"Hey, Asamura-kun, can I ask a crude question?"
"Go ahead. If it were the kind of question that would make me need to cover my ears or make me feel uncomfortable, I don't think you'd even ask it in the first place."
Just the fact that she had asked permission to ask the question made me able to tell that it would be something reasonable. That's a conclusion I was able to come to thanks to spending time with her up to this point.
"How'd you do on your exams?"
The question she had was even more normal than I anticipated. Then again, this could be a delicate topic for other people out there, which yet again made me realize how considerate Ayase-san is.
"Um… 81 points in Japanese History, 92 in Math I, 88 in Math II, 70 in Physics, 85 in Chemistry, 90 in English, 79 in English Communication, 96 in Modern Japanese, and 77 in Classical Japanese… So like 758 total, I think."
"That's amazing, Asamura-kun. Your grades are really good."
"Thanks. I'm happy to hear you say that. But, personally speaking, there's a few subjects I need to work on, like Physics and Chemistry."
"I think having a 96 in Modern Japanese is pretty amazing in itself."
"What about you, Ayase-san?"
"I have 100 points in Japanese History, 80 in Math I, 86 in Math II, 89 in Physics, 81 in Chemistry, 84 in English, 80 in English Communication, and 90 in Classical Japanese."
"So you're above 80 in all of them! You have far better grades than I do."
"So far, yeah."
"You just have one subject left, right? Even if your Modern Japanese score is a bit lower than the rest, your total sum should definitely be higher than mine."
"I wonder. I don't have much confidence in Modern Japanese." Compared to her usual dry and indifferent tone, I could sense a bit of vague anxiety in her voice, and Ayase-san sighed again. "If possible, I wanted to start working part-time this summer break, but depending on my grades in Modern Japanese, I might have to put more time into my studies."
"Sorry. It's all because I couldn't find a high-paying part-time job for you."
"You really don't have to apologize for that, Asamura-kun."
"No, that was just the terms to our agreement."
On the days both of our parents are out working, Ayase-san and I take care of breakfast and dinner. If time allows, my step-mother Akiko-san makes some food for us, but generally speaking we've been responsible for our meals. Ayase-san is trying to live independently so that she won't be looked down upon just because she's a woman, and she's trying to achieve this by attending a prestigious university.
At the same time, because she doesn't want to be a burden when it comes to our family's finances, she wants a high-paying part-time job that doesn't take too much of her precious studying time, so she requested that I help her gather information, offering to cook breakfast and dinner for me in return. However, as much as it pains me to admit, I've failed to have any worthwhile results in that endeavor for this past month. I'm sure that this is just Ayase-san being considerate and not wanting me to feel guilty about it, but she has yet to utter a single complaint about it. The only thing she's done is make a vague bitter smile.
"I know that what I'm asking you to do here is selfish, and I'm reflecting on it. For now, I'll look for a normal part-time job."
"Then I'll take care of my own food as well."
"Huh? There's no need."
These were the conditions of our contract, so this was an obvious response from me as far as I could tell, but Ayase-san seemed oddly hung up on it.
"I can keep doing it."
"But…"
"Cooking's pretty fun, and it helps me relax. It's a nice change of pace."
There's a psychological reaction called the 'Norm of reciprocity'. If someone receives something, they feel the urge to return either it or something else of equal or greater value. If you receive something, you give it back to the person you got it from, and if you receive something back, you give it back again. By repeating this over and over, human relationships gradually create a circle.
I'm well aware that I'm not attractive and charming enough of a human being to be showered with limitless and free love, and if someone is overly friendly with me without any merit in it for them, I immediately doubt their intentions. And even if there's no ulterior motive behind this affection, I still don't feel very comfortable only being on the receiving end.
Since Ayase-san is a similar kind of person as I, she must be aware of how I feel and how I'm pondering about how to make this a give-and-take.
"Then I have an idea." She raised her hand, like we were in class.
"Now that we've searched for an entire month, our chances of finding anything are most likely hopeless. We can agree on that much, right?"
"Yeah. I don't want to admit it, but as long as we don't rely on immoral and illegal methods, I think it's pretty hopeless."
"In order to get into the university I want, I need to save money, so a part-time job over summer break is necessary, no matter how much time it demands from me. I'll probably be forced to sacrifice sleep so that I can have more time to study."
"Doesn't a lack of sleep lower your academic efficiency?"
"That's right. That's why I have a proposal. You can help me look for ideas that can increase my studying efficiency."
"Increase your studying efficiency, huh? So like looking for good reference books, or preparing an environment that allows for comfortable studying?"
"I'll leave the methods to you. Can I ask for your help?"
I never thought I would experience such a selfish request from a little sister in my life. Though this is different from the stereotypical thing where an older brother is forced to put up with a selfish little sister, I still felt the odd duty to agree to it nonetheless.
"Got it. I don't know if I can find anything that's a good trade for this french toast, but I'll try my best."
"Thanks. I'm looking forward to it."
She spoke with no authenticity in her tone, merely speaking in a dry voice with a cool expression. Yet again, she gave off the feeling that, no matter the result, she wouldn't complain or blame me. When I saw her make that face, it made me want to change that expression in a good way. I need to find ideas for how to increase her studying efficiency. Pondering this, I enjoyed the sweet taste of french toast, my pre-reward, as I ate it.
After spending a joyful morning, the two of us went to school together, as the friendly and peaceful siblings we were—Of course, such a light novel or manga-like event didn't happen, as per usual. Instead, I headed to school alone. But I didn't feel any doubts or sadness from that fact, so I must have already gotten used to this relationship with my step-sister.
Both Ayase-san and I have yet to reveal to anyone at school that we're step-siblings, and we act like we're strangers at school. The only exception to this is Narasaka Maaya, Ayase-san's good friend. I'd even kept it a secret from Maru Tomokazu, one of my few friends. It's not that I don't trust him, but there's weird rumours going around in the baseball club he's in, so I wouldn't want him to worry about me if it ever gets leaked in any way.
"Yo, Asamura. Don't look up porn sites while you're at school, would ya?"
This very Maru Tomokazu was now calling out to me with a teasing grin on his face. I sat inside the tranquil atmosphere of the classroom right before homeroom. Since I had finished preparing for my classes, I just sat on my phone, researching stuff.
"Maru, did you know that the insults you make towards other people are actually a mirror of your own insecurities?"
"The heck does that mean?"
"The instant you come up with the idea of accusing someone else of doing something, it really just means that you would do the same."
"That's an interesting conclusion."
"Basically, you just confessed to visiting porn sites yourself, Maru."
"That's a pretty harsh accusation, bro."
"So you don't visit any?"
"…I do sometimes."
Judge, I plead guilty for the sake of the accused Maru. Then again, I have to give him credit for honestly admitting it without there being any need for him to do so. It just shows that he really is a great guy.
"I wouldn't dare look at that kinda stuff at school. I was just looking into some things."
"Oh, checking anime reviews? Yesterday's shows were really great. The 'Project DJ Mic' episode last night was godlike."
"Oh yeah. You got sucked into that, huh?"
"They have such great sense when it comes to theme songs and OSTs. They've got BGM music from 90's games. It makes it feel so nostalgic."
"The 90's, huh? That's pretty old."
"It is, but you know what they say: Don't make light of the old. They're using songs that were made with techniques and sound design popular around that time. At the same time, they focused more on the game-esque feel to the music rather than the artist's personal style, which is pretty revolutionary."
I could tell that Maru was slowly getting more into it. I gave my otaku friend a warm gaze and responded to him so he wouldn't complain about my lack of interest.
"I see, so your otaku heart is tickled by the great music, huh?"
"Exactly. They don't completely ruin the FM synths. Instead, they arranged them into a more modern style. Not to mention that game BGM doesn't use japanese lyrics, so you don't run into any sort of language barrier. It crosses the ocean, spreading out into the world. I'm pretty sure that the peeps behind 'D Mic' are geniuses."
"That's pretty unexpected."
"What is?"
"Seeing you getting passionate about music of all things. I knew you were knowledgeable about a lot of different genres, but aren't your tastes a bit too diverse?"
"You only feel that way because we talk about stuff I know a lot about."
"Ah, now that you mention it…"
"I just take the reins in the conversation. Of course I'm an all-knowing deity when it comes to the conversations I've created."
"Is this some kind of trick to commit fraud?"
"In essence it's the same thing. The kind of crime you end up committing only depends on the trick used."
"And how are you using it?"
"To make the conversation as enjoyable for me as I can."
"So peaceful." I gave Maru a sarcastic response as he openly blathered absolute garbage with a smug grin on his face, like he was the ruler of the planet.
I considered pursuing that train of thought and bluntly telling him that his logic was total nonsense, but that would have been a lame retort, so I decided against it.
"Even if I can't call you omnipotent, you are pretty clever, Maru. Your grades for the end-of-term exams must be pretty spectacular."
"So you've figured it out? You see, I've kept it a secret all this time, but I'm actually a genius."
"I knew that."
Since Maru was acting too confident for his own good, I decided to ask for his results, but the numbers that I got back were about as nonsensical as I expected. 90 points in Modern Japanese, 92 in Classical Japanese, 94 in History, 96 in Math I, 92 in Math II, 90 in Physics, 82 in Chemistry, 90 in English, and 94 in English Communication—820 points in total. After hearing them all, I could only let out a baffled 'Ohh' in the face of this genius-level savant.
"Isn't that pretty crazy? 90+ points in almost all subjects."
"I just know how to swim with the tide."
"I don't think that's all there is to it. We're already a pretty high-level school, and we're already preparing for university, which makes the exams a lot harder than at other schools nearby. You're even active in the baseball club, and your hobby is watching anime. What kind of cheats are you using to give you the time to study and get these grades?"
"I ain't using anything."
Of course, I knew that there were no cheats or anything like that, but I would have preferred it if he had some kind of secret technique that I could use. If Maru knew of some kind of convenient method to raise one's academic efficiency, and if he could tell me about it, I could have helped Ayase-san… Then again, there's no way the world would be as easy as that.
As for Maru, he seemed to have seen right through me. He stared at me with stern eyes through his glasses' lenses. He let out a sigh, like a wise man indifferently answering the question of an inquisitive person.
"Though there is one primary factor to my success."
"What?"
"The main premise is that I'm a short sleeper."
"Your constitution allows you to feel healthy and awake despite how little sleep you get, right? I remember you telling me about that."
"Pretty much. But I've been like this ever since I could remember. Since that's pretty much decided by my genes, I can't recommend it to anyone else."
"Don't think anyone could copy that, yeah… Wait, you're giving recommendations?"
"You wanted to know about my studying tricks, right?"
"Your level of insight is terrifying."
"Haha, it was obvious." Or so the mind-reading esper said with a peaceful smile.
This is why the catchers from the baseball club are all freaks… Which is a pretty bad prejudice to have, I know.
"Well, hiding anything from you seems pointless anyway, so I'll be honest. I'm actually always looking for ways to increase my own efficiency when it comes to studying. But methods that only work for geniuses won't help me much."
"Don't be jumping to conclusions like that, young Asamura. This is where the real thing starts." Maru said arrogantly. He took out his smartphone, booting up a music app.
"Music?"
"Exactly. This is my secret technique for focusing. Pretty much one of those super-easy measures you so desperately want."
"That sounds like a stretch."
"It actually helps, you know? Humans act according to their habits. When I listen to this music, my brain cells are telling me to study, and if I hold a pen, it won't stop until I'm either satisfied or exhausted. Skipping studying makes me feel restless."
"I see… so it's a type of self-hypnosis, like some kind of life hack. I guess that relaxing music and environmental noise really has beneficial effects."
"Depends on the person. Personally, I focus best when I listen to club music or heavy metal."
"I don't think that'd work for most people…"
"Everybody has their own type of BGM they use when trying to focus. You just gotta search for what suits you best, Asamura."
"Wha? …Ah, yeah. I'll search for what works for me." I was taken by surprise for a second, but I still managed to give a normal response.
I guess even a sharp and perceptive catcher from the baseball club wouldn't guess that I was actually asking this for Ayase-san's sake, not my own. Then again, using some kind of BGM while studying was most likely something Ayase-san had come up with herself already, so I doubt telling her about it would do her any good. This, in the end, is just the starting point.
For Ayase-san's sake, I need to gather even more information. While steeling my mental resolve to do so, I gave vague answers to my good friend who continued gushing on and on about how great 'Project DJ Mic' is.
That reminds me, what was Ayase-san's final result in Modern Japanese again? Right as I made it to my home's front door, my hand on the doorknob, this question came to mind. However, I immediately discarded the thought. It's definitely not that I wasn't curious about her results, but forcing my own curiosity on her was definitely bad manners. As soon as Ayase-san decides to tell me, let alone wants to tell me, that'll be the time when I listen.
"I'm home." I opened the door, and seeing a pair girl's shoes at the entrance, which confirmed that someone was home before me, I raised my voice.
Since I had no part-time work today, nor had I taken any detour on the way home, I figured I must have been home fairly quickly, but Ayase-san had beaten me home again. I wonder if her homeroom class just ended early or if she hurried home. I couldn't help but grin to myself at the thought of Ayase-san half-running home.
Since I didn't have to worry about my part-time job, I immediately headed to my room and was about to start looking into good work BGM when the door in the hallway I had just passed a few seconds ago flew open. When I turned around, I saw my step-sister almost stomping the ground as she rushed towards me.
"Asamura-kun."
"Uh, I'm back? Ayase-san, is something wrong?" I let out a flustered voice as Ayase-san walked up to me so close that we almost bumped into each other.
Her beautiful eyes were right in front of my nose. Her face, which was so charming that it looked like it had been handcrafted, made me immediately tense.
"Teach me Modern Japanese."
"You're kidding." I said. She had spoken with her usual calm expression, but there was a definite waver of uncertainty in her voice. I found myself blurting that response out on reflex.
It's not like I doubted her seriousness. Instead, I took a second to puzzle out the meaning behind what she had said, and what unexpected and impossible reality lay beneath this truth. As a result, an utterly dumbfounded reaction escaped my mouth. My expectations got the better of me, so I asked her about it. I judged that beating around the bush would be more rude than anything, so I asked her straight.
"How many points?"
"38."
"That…is quite the severe result."
"I felt like this would happen. I've never been good at it, so I figured I wouldn't be any good even here."
"Even though you have such great scores in all the other subjects? Then again, there's things that people are naturally good or not good at."
"I can't even understand how the characters who appear in the story feel." She said, averting her gaze.
I couldn't help but blink in confusion when she said this.
"Since Modern Japanese asks you to determine the meaning of the sentences and answer questions about it, I don't think you need to understand the feelings of the characters?"
"For novels, the meaning of the text basically equates to the feelings of the characters who appear in it, right? …Well, I'm aware that I get hung up on parts that aren't even relevant."
"Even if that's the case, I can't see how you'd have problems like that. You're always so considerate of other people."
"Does it seem that way?"
"Yeah, at the very least it does to me. You understand my stances, my opinions, and try to adjust accordingly."
"It's the opposite, Asamura-kun."
"The opposite?"
"I don't understand other people's feelings, so I need to adjust to them."
"…I guess that does make sense."
As I mentioned before, I find it troublesome and exceptionally hard to deal with people who have a sudden change in mood and ask me to figure out how they're feeling. This of course is a result of me watching my old man being toyed around with time and time again. I find myself guessing other people's intentions all the time. Keeping up with this kind of uncertain communication is like a dice throw with 10% odds that you completely brick your relationship. It's just a game based on pure luck.
That's exactly why I was so relieved when she proposed that we 'not have any expectations of each other, merely live together while adjusting to each other.' Both of us will immediately reveal our honest feelings, like playing a card game with both hands visible. By playing each card in turn, we can continue this card game forever without ever hurting each other.
While this is definitely a kind form of consideration for the other person, if you turn things around, it's simply a stiff and demanding strategy to attempt to use fragile words to satisfy them.
"Honestly speaking, this might be pretty bad. I knew that it would be tough, but it was far worse than I anticipated."
"38, huh…? Isn't a failing grade in Modern Japanese 40 points or lower?"
"Correct. There's a makeup exam on the 21st, right before summer break. If I don't pass that one with more than 80 points, I'll have to take supplementary classes throughout summer break."
"Supplementary lessons that aren't relevant for university entrance exams… That's something I'd like to avoid."
"Right. That's why I want to pass that exam no matter what. Asamura-kun, your best subject was Modern Japanese, right?"
"Thanks to my hobby of reading books, yeah… So that's why you want me to teach you?"
"Would that be too much to ask?"
"Of course not. I'm still in your debt for everything you've done, so I want to repay the favor."
"That's great to hear." Ayase-san gave me a relieved smile.
I could see the tension vanish from her shoulders, and she left a brief "I'll be waiting in the living room, then," and stepped out of my room. I couldn't help but think Yeah, this is very much like her, when I thought about it. Rather than losing her calm and sulking in bed without telling anybody, she was actively trying to fix the situation, and was acting accordingly.
…But that was exactly why I was plagued by a feeling of discomfort. Why would she ignore this problem until now, when it was definitely going to cause trouble for her, despite usually being on the frontlines trying to better herself ahead of time. This doubt stayed in my mind, but I quickly realized that I was wasting my time. Instead, I left my school belongings on my studying desk, taking only my writing tools and smartphone with me, and headed out.
When I entered the living room, I immediately spotted Ayase-san sitting at the dining table surrounded by workbooks and notes. There were even barely-opened answer sheets in front of her. She held a pen in her left hand, staring down at the objects in front of her. As a side note, and I heard this from her herself, but Ayase-san is actually left-handed. As a result of her parents' education, she ended up holding the chopsticks with her right hand, but because she's used to writing with her left hand, she uses it more actively.
If this was some type of manga, she'd invite me to her bedroom, and some kind of erotic development would happen, but this is reality. It was a perfectly normal situation, and Ayase-san was focused solely on the problems in front of her, which told me that even the thought of something more than that happening was utterly ridiculous. After pondering about it for a second, I eventually sat down on the opposite side of the table, facing Ayase-san.
"You aren't sitting next to me?" She asked.
"I thought it'd be a bit weird if I did that."
"When Mom and your Dad are home, we always sit next to each other, right?"
"I feel like the conditions of that situation are totally different if you compare them to this one."
"Really?"
"Really," I answered without hesitation, and was actually pretty confident in that. But when I looked at her blank and dry expression, I started to have doubts.
I was trying to be considerate, showing her that I wouldn't use this opportunity for any indecent ideas or fantasies, but maybe I was just being inconsiderate and in the process. I figured that not showing any awareness or consciousness of her being a member of the opposite sex would be for the best, but the person in question is just a tad bit too attractive for me to actually pull that off.
Naturally, I'm not just rambling out my personal interests, but this is a reality based on objective discussion. Despite all those awful rumours circulating around school, there's still a lot of boys who fearlessly confess to her. This should surely be enough proof to justify my conclusion.
The memories from last month are still fresh in my mind. She came to a rather strange conclusion while rationally considering ways to earn money quickly and easily. The appearance of her closing in on me while wearing nothing but underwear still occasionally pops up in my mind.
Naturally, during my daily life, especially with her around, I'm not that conscious of her (because if I kept thinking about that 24/7, I'd be nothing more than an ape driven by carnal lusts), but when it's just the two of us at times like these, and our distance shrinks beyond a certain threshold, these memories just come rushing back. I can't help it.
"Hey, despite that promise of forgetting about it, why is it still a problem?"
"Huh, really?" It seemed like my mind was being read by Ayase-san, and I let out a dumbfounded response.
I don't remember promising anything. I only swore to myself that I would try my best to forget, but Ayase-san shouldn't know anything about that. Thinking that something was off, I glanced at Ayase-san, who was staring at me, visibly confused.
"Of course. Then again, it was pretty short and abrupt overall, so it might be a bit hard to remember."
"I'm sorry, Ayase-san. I haven't the foggiest idea what you're talking about."
"Pull yourself together. You're good at Modern Japanese. Right, Asamura-sensei?"
When she said that, I realized that she had been pointing at a certain part of the question sheet in front of her, which made me understand what was going on.
"…I see. The topic changed without me realizing."
"It didn't? I've been working on this problem the whole time."
"Sorry, I was just on the wrong train of thought there. Let's start, shall we?"
It appears that she had already started studying. She wasn't reproaching me for the indecent visions and memories filling my mind, but had instead asked me about a portion of the problem she didn't understand.
"Thanks. Then, as for this question…"
"Ah, hold on. I want to start by proposing another way of studying. Can I do that?" I asked.
"Of course. Anything that will help improve my grades would be very much welcome."
"Then I'd like to check what parts of Modern Japanese you're having problems with. Can I see your question and answer sheets?"
"Yep. Here you go." Ayase-san offered me the papers with no hesitation.
Compared to her outer appearance, looking like a delinquent with blonde hair and ear piercing, she was actually an honest and proper student. Seeing that paper with a giant red '38' written on it was really a sight out of the ordinary. I can't pretend to think that this is some lack of understanding, lack of ability, or lack of effort. I believed that there must be a much deeper explanation as to why she was unable to get the points she would normally get, which was why I cross-referenced every little nook and cranny of the paper to find this reason. And then I found it.
"You're perfectly fine when it comes to reading comprehension and the kanji used in papers and articles. You're losing the most points when it comes to the reading comprehension part of novels."
"…Yeah, that's what I have problems with."
"This was probably the first time you've actually gotten a failing grade like this, right? Since the point distribution is weighted more heavily towards the novel reading comprehension."
"Correct. Then again, I knew that myself." She shrugged. "I just couldn't come up with a way to deal with it."
"Your accuracy in terms of correct answers is higher in the beginning when working on the papers and articles, but two novel-related questions later, when there's another paper question, you left that empty. Is that because you used up all your time on the novel-related questions prior to that one?"
"You're talking like you were there when it happened."
"So am I wrong?"
"Right on mark. It felt like you stabbed me where it hurt, and left me a bit agitated."
I could see a bit of that despite her otherwise empty expression.
"Sorry, I guess I was a bit insensitive."
"You are forgiven. Then again, I asked you to teach me, and you're being serious about it, so I shouldn't sulk like that. I'm sorry."
"All good, now we're even."
We're still keeping up the promise that the two of us shared when we had just become a family. Don't ignore anything, don't beat around the bush too much, just adjust to immediately fix any errors. That is the relationship we have established. We don't show changes in our emotions with just our facial expressions alone, we immediately explain any unpleasant emotions or situations, which has made it very easy for both of us.
"And the biggest problem was Natsume Sōseki's 'Sanshirō1'. You couldn't solve a single question related to that, and it even led to a lot of blank answer spaces afterwards."
"You're right…"
"You weren't aware of it?"
"I was too busy actually trying to solve the question. I remember feeling like that was much more difficult and harder to do than the other questions."
"So you didn't realize that this was the critical part of it, I see."
An exam is pretty much about establishing rhythm when solving problems. As long as you're a human who works by hand, your mental state can drastically affect your results. If you're blasting through problems, your brain is in a state of ecstacy, your hand starts moving faster, and naturally, your pen flies across the paper.
On the flip side, if you're getting stuck on one part, your hand comes to a halt, as does your brain and thought process, which then causes a rush of stress, and this stress leads to a downfall of your ability to think rationally. In other words, in order to achieve the greatest results in exams and tests, you have to stabilize your own mental state and solve the questions and problems without breaking out of your rhythm.
—At least that's what I read in a book before. Since I was so easily influenced, I've always worked on exams exactly how that book told me. I categorize the problems I can solve right away, the problems that will take a bit of thinking time, and the problems I have to do a lot of thinking for, then I create a comfortable rhythm as I work through the question sheet.
"Since you're a very logical and clever person, Ayase-san, I think that unless you don't fully understand a question or a problem, you will probably feel uncomfortable. You quickly work through the problems you can answer easily, but you can get hung up on other ones forever."
If this assumption is correct, then it could explain why she's been this bad at Modern Japanese without having to fix or correct anything else. Her head judged that she was trying to solve the problems the right way, and it was a misjudgement.
"I see." Ayase-san nodded. "When it comes to other subjects, I feel like I'm subconsciously solving the questions instantly."
"Basically, when it comes to Modern Japanese, and analyzing novels in particular, there's a reason why you can't deal with it."
"A reason, you say…"
"If we find out that reason, we can come up with measures to deal with it. First, let's look at 'Sanshirō' and try to figure out what this problem is."
I checked over the section they used in the exam. Since making the entire book part of a question would be too much to ask of the students, they only asked questions about a particular excerpt of 'Sanshirō'. In all the works of the famous Meiji Era author, Natsume Sōseki, this has especially strong touches of a romantic novel, which makes it well-known as one of the easier novels for high school students nowadays to read.
Even for people who aren't too well-versed with literature, because it deals with a citizen's problems and reality as a stage, the sympathy is what makes it stand out. You could call it a trendy drama at the time it was written. At its core, it's not that different from a typical modern romance novel.
If you had to name specific differences, then it would be the acceptance and sincerity towards the time it was written in, which makes it even accepted as material used for historical studies, to a level where even problems related to it have been implemented into students' workbooks, and it's used as an educational novel. Of course, it wasn't the only example of this, but becoming an educational novel is a great feat in the world of literature. It's worthy of respect, to be honest.
"Honestly speaking, it was pretty difficult. Though all the other people from my class were having no problems dealing with it from what I could see."
"'Sanshirō' is quite advanced, and it contrasts one's own freedom in love with the norm of love at the time, which mainly consisted of political marriages. At the time it was written, it was still a new view of love, but people nowadays find a lot of aspects to it that are easy to understand."
"Really? …I wonder what's so easy to understand." It must have been subconsciously, as Ayase-san gently bit her finger.
"I think it'd be faster if you just tried to put into words what exactly you didn't understand, Ayase-san. Can you give me something?"
"What the protagonist Sanshirō is thinking, and what the main heroine-esque Mineko is thinking. Let alone their thoughts, I don't get why they act the way they do."
"For starters, you're aware that Sanshirō has feelings for Mineko, right?"
"Really?" Ayase-sasn blinked at me in confusion.
She seemed like she genuinely hadn't anticipated that, but I should be the one making that face right now. I'm fairly certain that even without a lot of reading experience like I have, a normal person would be able to figure that out by reading casually. Especially a girl like her whose results even surpassed mine in all the other subjects except Modern Japanese. This is just way too unnatural.
"If you're stuck there, that makes things much more complicated. Hmm… How should I explain it?"
"Feelings… Basically, he likes her in the romantic sense, right?"
"Exactly. Though the writing goes a bit above and beyond with the depiction, staging it greater than it actually is. Just look at the times other men approach the main heroine. You can piece together that the protagonist is jealous, right?"
"Jealous… So he hates the idea of Mineko talking to another man?"
"That's at least how I see it."
"But he's not telling her to stop, right? He could just say that he dislikes the idea."
"Well, he's got this insecure and awkward personality that doesn't allow him to do that. Also, when you're talking with the person you have feelings for, I think the psychological hurdle and exhaustion is just far greater."
"Keeping your honest feelings secret without ever saying them… I don't really get it. Maybe because I don't do that at all."
"Let's imagine a situation where you can't openly state your honest feelings. Like your feelings for your first love. Have you had any experiences when your heart was in such disarray because of romantic feelings that you couldn't find the right words to say?"
"No. I don't have any experience with love to begin with."
"I see…"
"What about you, Asamura-kun?"
"…Now that you mention it, I think I'm the same way."
More accurately, before I could even acquire a proper mind for love, I heard that I proposed to my kindergarten teacher. Then again, that was just what my old man told me, so whether or not that really happened is up for debate. Thus, I'm not going to count that. After moving up to grade school, where I still have a few things that I can remember, the only thing I remember seeing was my parents fighting most of the time, which caused me to never really dream of having a romantic relationship with a girl that could lead to marriage and building a family.
"Hmm, so you don't."
"…Is that bad?"
"Not really. I was just thinking that, if you had no experience in love like I do, it might explain that this is completely unrelated to my scores in Modern Japanese."
"Yeah, it's pretty weird to think about where things start to differ between us."
Maybe it's just my otaku tendencies? I don't remember ever really imagining going out with a girl in reality, but thinking that a heroine of a manga or novel I'm reading, even anime I'm watching, is pretty cute and charming has been something natural for me. It's like I'm making up for my lack of realistic experience with fictional experience instead.
That being the case, I feel like it would be a grounded hypothesis to assume that this accumulated knowledge led to my greater ability of grasping the depiction of romantic feelings in certain media. That being said, this conclusion won't help me in increasing her learning ability to a level where the supplementary exams would be possible. On the contrary, if I told this to her, it'd make me a failure of a private tutor. My only choice is to come up with a constructive method for her to progress.
"Then, let's give up on understanding their emotions. If you can't figure out their emotions, then there's no use wasting time on it."
"So what, are we going to start guessing randomly instead?"
"Not quite. Confirm the contents of what's written on the paper as a single stream of information, and answer it mechanically. Basically, you have to change your perception of it."
"Change my perception? Why?"
"Because if you push yourself when it comes to the questions that require you to read and understand a human's heart, it results in you ending up in trouble. Compare it to math, where you apply the mathematical formula to solve the problem, working through it like a puzzle. Ayase-san, you had pretty good results in History, right? So you must be somewhat informed about that?"
"Well, I guess. You just have to learn everything by heart. There's also a few parts that are very interesting."
"The thing is, if you put a contextual thread on the historical background that is written in the works of Modern Japanese, and associate the two of them, then it might be easier to understand what exactly is written in them. If you're good at history, and you create a logical connection between the two, you instill in yourself a way of thinking that benefits this process, and you might just be able to understand what the questions are asking from you."
Of course, that is much easier said than done. However, considering her basic stats and specs, it's worth considering this possibility.
"Yeah, that might be a better fit for me."
"For now, let's practice with Sanshirō. I don't know if they'll use it again for the supplementary exams, but the questions and overall amount of them should follow a similar pattern, so if you have your own way of dealing with these problems, you should be ready on the day of."
"…Can I really make it?" She spoke with an indifferent tone, but I could pick up a certain level of doubt in her voice.
I should be able to say this exactly because I've gotten better at understanding the person that she is, so the second she said that, she was clearly showing a certain amount of anxiety. Of course, that makes total sense, since she's always been aware that this is one of her most problematic subjects. But at the same time, this very reaction just confirmed that it would all work out in the end.
Ayase-san isn't so naive as to assume that everything will turn in her favor merely because she figured out a trick to dealing with her problems. On the contrary, she's the type of person to take detours to reach her final goal in the end.
"You can do it, Ayase-san."
"Yeah. I'll trust in you, Asamura-kun, and try my best."
Of course, there's no basis or proof for anything here. However, there was no doubt or scathing remarks at all to be seen from Ayase-san's reaction. Instead, she said it like she really meant it, and she proceeded to look up the historical background and commentaries regarding Sanshirō. Now that the plan had been set in motion, all that was left was to push through with it.
After that, her focus on her work was almost astonishing to me. She didn't blink once, she merely looked through anything related to Sanshirō like a machine searching the internet. Well, that would be a bit of an overstatement, but her dedication made me picture something like that.
As she studied, I would get up to prepare some drinks or look up something else on my phone, and yet she never glanced at me in the slightest. She merely focused on the task at hand. If you think about typical events that happen in fiction, there would be a little sister who has yet to get her basics down, working you through hell and back. Or there'd be another little sister who'd start giving you a bit of service since she can't sit still for a long period of time. But the real step-sister in front of me right now was passionately working on her studies.
Even so, even without any erotic development like that, I quite enjoyed the tranquil atmosphere that reigned between us, as I merely listened to the sound of her pen scratching across the paper.
To start from the conclusion—This studying method brought forth immense results. After she finished poring over all the information regarding Sanshirō that she could find, I asked her the same questions from the exam, with the exam sheet in hand, and Ayase-san succeeded in giving me an answer every single time, all of them correct. She really is clever. Once she knows how to solve a problem, she immediately goes above and beyond.
"Congrats. If you use the same method on all the novels that are part of the subject, you don't have to be afraid at all."
"Thanks. Your teaching really helped."
"…!" Ah, well, it wasn't that big of a deal."
For a moment, my head turned blank and I reverted back to polite language. The corners of her mouth went up a little bit as she thanked me, which took me by surprise.
"Did you just smile?"
"I wonder. I'm not too sure, myself." Ayase-san shrugged, seeming slightly bewildered.
Ironically enough, this mysterious gesture which I was unable to understand the origin of greatly resembled one that the heroine of Sanshirō would make. The same Sanshirō that had given Ayase-san such a hard time before.
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1 Sanshirō
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