Chapter 107: June 1st (Tuesday) – Asamura Yuuta
The classroom was a lot brighter.
From June, we shed our dark-colored jackets in favor of lighter-colored uniforms.
It's started to heat up too, and today was hot like being under the sun, so the classroom windows had been wide open since morning.
A season to lift our spirits.
…Which was the opposite for us third years at Suisei High that day, as we had to contend with gloomy, rather cloudy weather and the likelihood of rain too.
It was self-study time after school, and the whole class was buzzing. The tone of the conversation was a mixture of happiness and sadness and our homeroom teacher, who'd normally yell at the class for being noisy, wasn't making any effort to calm it down.
It's not that surprising, I thought as I stared down at the printout in front of me—my midterm results.
I already know the scores for each subject based on the answer sheets returned by the respective teachers.
What I was holding was a report card summarizing the scores for all subjects. It included rankings, average scores, and even the internal standardized score of the entire school. In short, I was staring into a mirror reflecting my academic ability.
I looked at the numbers—My personal average was roughly 74 points.
It has dropped…
It wasn't bad compared to the rest of the grade, but my score had definitely dropped since our last exams.
Last year, I wouldn't have cared too much, but this year was different. The entrance exams were looming. The other students were aware of that too and had switched to study mode, so naturally, the overall average jumped as well.
My performance dropping at a time like this is a serious problem.
The fact that my rank hasn't dropped did very little to lift my spirits.
After my chat with Yomiuri-senpai, I naively thought I'd shoot for a good university to have a wider range of options for my future, but at this rate that might just be a pipe dream.
Above all, I can't be proud. Not in front of my parents or Ayase-san.
Driven by frustration, I looked over at Ayase-san to gauge how well she'd done. But, I couldn't read anything from her profile. Maybe she did well, or maybe nothing changed.
Glancing around the class, it seemed everyone was feeling a bit down—even those whose scores had improved. Just getting midterm results back was a stark reminder that we were all entrance exam-takers.
So even if Ayase-san's face did look gloomy, it was too hard to work out what she was truly feeling. She did look a little worried, though. Maybe she's in the same boat as well.
What am I even thinking?
No matter what Ayase-san's results were, it wouldn't change my pathetic personal average.
Yet, fueled by my own anxiety, I found myself watching Ayase-san's behavior to see if she felt bad about her results. It's almost as if I'm hoping her scores have dropped like mine.
I'm just the worst. Momentary lapse in judgment or not, hoping Ayase-san didn't do well just to make myself feel better is despicable.
Besides, she's good at self-study. There's a decent chance that she's improved her rank, not dropped down. She might just be hiding her joy out of consideration for her other classmates. Imagining that only added to my indescribable anxiety.
I want to somehow change my mindset and improve my grades. It'd be nice if there were some sort of catalyst to do that. Without a catalyst, my concentration might not return to normal.
Self-study ended, and my classmates left the room. Ayase-san glanced at me before leaving as well. Meanwhile, Yoshida had already vanished. Third-year sports club members normally quit by June and passed the baton onto their juniors, or, like Yoshida, they pushed extra hard in the final leg.
Maru popped into my head. If he were with me, we'd be debriefing about our exam results like we always did, but this was the last summer for third-year baseball club members. It'd be selfish of me to bug him with my problems. Maru, and probably Shinjo in the tennis club, must've been swamped with club activities and studying. I really don't want to bother them.
I shoved my report card deep into my bag. There isn't much point crying about it. The entrance exams would come whether I complained about it or not. If I didn't change something ASAP my scores would continue to drop, that much I know.
It's a Tuesday after school. Normally I'd be on my way to work, but, because of midterms, I'd told the bookstore I'd be taking a break until today.
I've used that time to focus on attending prep school lectures. I have a lecture today as well.
So, I jumped on my bike and rode full speed straight there.
***
With my disappointing report card still fresh in my mind, I paid close attention to the prep school lecture.
While I thought my concentration was better than usual, I still feel like it wasn't good enough. As the bell rang to signal the end of the lecture I started mulling over a way to change my mindset.
It was the last day of prep school lectures I've been attending instead of work. Time was of the essence.
The catalyst I've been seeking dropped right into my lap as I was leaving the school. This is it! I thought the moment I laid eyes on it.
I'd stopped in front of a bulletin board near the entrance and saw a flier that'd caught my eye.
Written in a bold font, the flier read:『Summer Intensive Study Camp』
Apparently it involved intense study for exams, without having to go home at night.
I can't remember when the flier first went up, but wasn't the fact that it caught my eye a sign that I was concerned about how my studies were going?
What really piqued my interest were the two characters for "concentration."
There's no doubt in my mind that my lack of concentration is the reason for my disappointing midterm scores.
Ever since Ayase-san and I joined the same class, I'm always conscious of her.
Although nothing has happened recently, my mind is preoccupied, and if we're in the same place, I follow her with my eyes.
Even when we aren't face to face at home, just knowing she's in the next room distracts me. It isn't Ayase-san's fault. But, I'm scared that if I continue to stay close to her things will spiral out of control before I realize it.
The true face of the anxiety I feel about my midterm results is obvious to me at this point. I need to put the source of my anxieties beyond arm's reach—far enough away so that I don't have to consciously try to not be conscious of her.
While looking at the flier, I thought about my plans for summer vacation. I planned to cut down on my shifts at work. Clearly, my grades are slipping, and entrance exams are just around the corner.
I can use the time to attend prep school. Ayase-san isn't a student here, so concentrating shouldn't be a problem. In fact, today proved that a bit. But money-wise I can't afford to take on any more courses. With work on hold, my purse strings will only get tighter.
I'll probably still attend the classes, but it'll be tricky to pay for more. Should I use the self-study room like Fujinami-san? Wait a minute—isn't trudging out in the scorching sun to the crowded Shibuya station, getting tired, and then trying to study terribly inefficient? That's what I ended up thinking.
But if things carry on as they are I'll inevitably start spending more time at home. Then what will happen? I'll be spending more time with Ayase-san, is what. We'll see each other when we wake up in the morning, while making lunch, in the living room during breaks in the evening, and in the dining room for dinner.
That's bad. Scratch that, it isn't bad. In truth, I'm actually happy about it, but that's also why I'm not happy about it.
If I feel that way during our everyday lives, what'll happen when summer holidays start and we're under the same roof 24/7?
I grabbed a flier for the summer camp from the envelope pinned to the bulletin board.
For the sake of my future with Ayase-san, perhaps I need to deliberately put some distance between us for a while.
I left the building and, looking up, saw that the sky was covered with thick clouds. The weather seemed to be taking a turn for the worse, and the wind that brushed against my skin felt damp. I could smell rain. With determination in my heart, I left the prep school behind.
***
As I was about to pull my bike out of the bicycle parking lot, I saw I'd received a LINE notification on my phone.
"…Old man?"
I opened the app and read it.
[An urgent meeting came up. Akiko-san arranged for Saki-chan to take my turn.]
Huh? Oh, he's talking about our cooking rotation.
It's Tuesday, so my old man was supposed to cook. Originally, I had work that day, so it was his turn. That's why I was able to attend prep school. My old man knew I'd be coming home late. If we needed to switch, we had no choice but to rely on Akiko-san or Ayase-san. Maybe Akiko-san had something else to do, or Ayase-san agreed to take over since midterms were over.
That meant my old man would be late today as well, and knowing Ayase-san, she probably wouldn't eat dinner until I got home.
I should rush home and help out. Thinking that, I got on my bike.
My spirits have lifted a bit, having brought the flier from prep school home with me.
I rode through the streets of Shibuya, putting some strength into my pedaling as I headed towards my flat.
It seemed I would make it home before the rain started to fall.
***
My prediction was half right and half wrong.
As I slid into our flat's parking lot and parked my bike, I sent Ayase-san a LINE message to let her know I was home. She's not the type to go out and have fun just because exam results are back, so she should've been home by now.
A near-instant came back.
[Sorry, it's not ready yet. Please wait a bit longer.]
I was surprised because I thought Ayase-san hadn't had any particular plans. She'd left the classroom before me too.
I opened the door to my flat and called out, "I'm home." There was no reply, but I could hear noise coming from the kitchen. When I peeked in, Ayase-san was in a panic, cooking dinner.
"Oh, welcome home. Sorry, I'm running a bit behind. I'll have it ready soon."
"Don't stress, I'll help."
I threw my bag in my room, quickly changed clothes, and returned to the kitchen.
I offered to help, but only so much that I didn't overstep my bounds.
Since we've decided to divide our roles, we've agreed not to break our arrangement as much as possible.
Some might argue that the person with free hands should just do the work, but breaking the agreed system could be risky.
Habit was a scary thing; once you got help a few times, you started expecting more of it, and might even start thinking it was cruel when you didn't get it.
We had to stick to the system we'd all agreed on, as we cared about each other.
Long story short, it was best for Ayase-san—who'd taken my old man's turn—to cook while I just acted as her assistant.
We finished making dinner and sat down together.
"Let's eat."
Ayase-san and I faced each other and put our hands together. Dinner was slightly later than usual.
On the menu was miso soup, spinach ohitashi and aburaage[1], steamed salmon and mushrooms in butter, and rice with pickled radish.
[1: Ohitashi: A Japanese dish made from boiled greens, typically spinach, that are chilled and then served with a soy sauce-based dressing or a dashi-based broth. Aburaage: A Japanese ingredient made from fried and thinly sliced tofu, commonly used as a sushi roll wrapper or stuffed with ingredients like rice and vegetables.]
[2: Ohitashi: A Japanese dish made from boiled greens, typically spinach, that are chilled and then served with a soy sauce-based dressing or a dashi-based broth. Aburaage: A Japanese ingredient made from fried and thinly sliced tofu, commonly used as a sushi roll wrapper or stuffed with ingredients like rice and vegetables.]
At first glance, it was hard to tell, but the dishes practically shone with time-saving techniques.
Well, even I might not have noticed if we hadn't been working together.
First, I moistened my mouth with the miso soup.
I let out a sigh of relief. I thought about why I did that even when winter was long gone. Maybe it's just because the miso soup was hot.
The miso soup had wakame[2] seaweed and green onions in it.
[2: Wakame: An edible seaweed used in Japanese cuisine, with a slightly sweet and briny flavor, and often used in soups, salads, and rice dishes.]
The aroma of the sea gently spread in my mouth. Delicious.
Wakame just needed to be rehydrated with water, and the green onions were straight out of the freezer, so it didn't take much effort to make. Ayase-san seemed to prefer using fresh vegetables as much as possible, but she chose convenience over taste in this case.
The idea was to cut the green onions, put them in a ziplock bag, and freeze them so they could be used at any time. Although slightly different from fresh vegetables, I still thought they tasted delicious.
Next, I reached out my chopsticks to grab some ohitashi and aburaage. As I slowly chewed the fried tofu, the broth made from a mix of white dashi and soy sauce seeped out. The spinach was also soft and delicious.
The dish seemed simple enough, but experience made all the difference.
Ayase-san had thrown pre-made spinach ohitashi and pre-cut aburaage into a small pot, added seasoning by eye, and turned off the heat at just the right time to let it cool. She said that when simmered dishes cool, the flavors seeped in. I'd have struggled to time turning off the heat at the right moment when the other dishes were ready and at an edible temperature.
Ayase-san claimed it was simple. She'd just thrown all the ingredients together and it was done. But people with experience tend to forget that their common sense isn't so common to others. That said, this salmon and buttered mushroom dish is simple enough even for a lowly cook like me to make.
I broke apart the salmon with my chopsticks and brought it and some mushrooms to my mouth. The taste of soy sauce and butter filled my mouth. My chopsticks immediately reached for the white rice. The mushrooms were called bunashimeji[3]. I love how I can still feel the fibers in them even when they're cooked.
[3: Bunashimeji: A type of mushroom with a mild and nutty flavor used in Japanese cuisine, often used in soups, stews, stir-fries, and rice dishes.]
Today's main dish is doing a great job as a rice thief[4].
[4: Rice thief can refer to a dish or cuisine that is so delicious that people can't resist eating a lot of it, as if they were "stealing" it.]
It's surprising that such a delicious dish could be made in the microwave. That's right, the reason I said it's simple enough even for me to make was because it's microwaved. It might seem like frying or grilling were more common in cooking, but today was all about maximum efficiency. They simply weren't needed. Plus, doing much more would've meant I overstepped my "assistant" role.
Quick and easy.
That was the name of the game for the『Easy Microwave Salmon and Mushroom Butter Steam Recipe』
I'm always amazed at Ayase-san's repertoire of recipes.
She wanted to cook properly but was also realistic about what she could get done with the time and ingredients available to her. It's very typical of her.
All I did was follow her instructions and zap the ingredients for the appropriate amount of time. Ayase-san cut and seasoned them. Yet, it's to my taste. Just the right amount of saltiness and richness. When had she fine-tuned it to my taste, even though I've never been picky about food?
As I ate the steaming hot rice, I started craving something cold. That's when the pickled daikon radish shined. The crispy texture was a nice contrast to the rice, adding color and comfort to the meal. Ayase-san's cooking was really delicious, as always.
As I was enjoying my dinner, Ayase-san suddenly brought up a topic.
"It's almost been... a year, hasn't it?"
My chopsticks stopped.
What's she talking about? Oh, right.
It's been that long since we met and started living together.
"To be honest, I was a bit surprised back then. I figured I'd get a grade-schooler as my Stepsister, but it turned out to be a girl my age."
"Ah yeah, that happened, didn't it?"
Ayase-san shot me a wry smile.
She must be remembering the first time we met.
She didn't like having her picture taken, so there were only photos from her early childhood. Also, Akiko-san had forgotten to mention it, so I thought I was getting a much younger sister.
"You know, I was kinda prepared."
"Prepared?"
"To live with someone I couldn't communicate with. That's why I'm glad it was you, Asamura-kun. I'm glad it was someone who was willing to adjust to each other."
"I'm the one who should be saying that…"
I suddenly realized something.
"I won't have any great expectations from you, so I want you to do the same for me."
That's what Ayase-san had said when we first met.
Not expecting anything from each other, and interacting with each other under that premise. That's supposed to be our mutual understanding.
I realized it was the same as the issue with our cooking rotation.
It's precisely because we didn't overstep each other's boundaries that we were able to maintain the status quo. But for that same reason, good communication between us is key.
That's how we'd built our current relationship.
It's beyond ridiculous that we could manage to divide our household chores but couldn't talk about the most important stuff.
Maybe I haven't been communicating with her as much as I should be.
I feel that way again.
"Hey, Ayase-san, listen," I said, gently putting down my rice bowl and chopsticks.
Then I spilled my heart out about my recent frustrations.
How I've found it hard to concentrate since we joined the same class. How I couldn't change the situation no matter how hard I try. How my grades aren't improving. And, most importantly, how I've been shoving my problems aside and ignoring them.
Ayase-san also stopped eating to listen.
After listening to the end, she slowly opened her mouth to speak.
"It's been the same for me. I've been struggling too honestly."
"Huh?"
"My grades have slipped and I even dozed off in class…"
I was shocked, to be frank. I couldn't believe my ears.
The perfectly composed Ayase-san, outside of the house at least, had fallen asleep in the middle of class?!
"I didn't try to adjust to you either."
I didn't notice. No, I couldn't have noticed. My mind was so preoccupied with my own problems to think about Ayase-san. I hadn't noticed that she was also struggling too.
"But, you know, if it were me until yesterday, I probably wouldn't have been able to adjust to each other well even if we tried. Actually…"
She filled me in on what happened today.
After school, Ayase-san went all the way to Tsukinomiya Women's University and consulted Professor Kudou about her recent slump.
"I want you to listen to what I've learned, Asamura-kun. Then, I want us to work through it together. Can we do that?"
Having asked that, Ayase-san started to recount her conversation with Professor Kudou.
There's one word that kept popping up: codependency.
Read 𝓁at𝙚st chapters at (f)re𝒆we(b)novel.com Only