Chapter 472 Eureka!!!
Malenia: "...And then he tried to ask me out, but I'm just not interested in subordinates like that, y'know?"
Kanami: "I totally get it, girl."
Malenia: "So then once I refused him, he started to get all depressed and mopey, and it was visibly affecting his work with the children."
Kanami: "Oh no... so what did you do?"
Malenia: "I had to go out with him! If for no other reason than just to get him to stop going in the bathroom to cry between classes."
Kanami: "Ever the altruist... Alright, so how'd it go?"
Malenia: "It was terrible. I've never considered myself to be a suicidal person, but I thought up 22 ways to kill myself before the waiter brought us the breadsticks."
Kanami: "What were they like?"
Malenia: "Quick and painless mostly, but at a certain point I had to get more creative and considered hanging myself with my thong."
Kanami: "No, I meant the breadsticks."
Malenia: "Oh... too much butter and garlic, they made me feel a little bloated after."
Kanami: "I'll cross that place off my list then. So how was the rest of the date?"
Malenia: "Exactly as I had expected, a huge waste of time. Thirty minutes in and he was making perverted remarks about 'teacher role-play'. Needless to say, he's been reassigned."
"Want me to kill him?"
Suddenly, Malenia and Kanami looked down at the floor from beside their bed.
There, their older brother was lying on the floor with a pair of headphones over his elongated ears and his nose in a fantasy novel.
He was wearing a comfortable outfit of a sleeveless black shirt and red jeans like he was a man on the go.
Indicative of what he'd been doing today.
"You were actually listening to us? I thought you were focused on listening to that album of yours and getting through that manga." Malenia questioned.
Abaddon removed the book from his face and stared at his sister incredulously. "You actually learned what a manga is??"
"I have three nephews and I work in every school in Apollyon. Yes, I know what a manga is. Pikachu is my favorite 'Yu-gi-oh' monster."
"..." The sound of Abaddon's heart breaking into two was much louder than the album playing in his headphones.
"....I garner by your expression I have said something incorrect."
"Horrifyingly so."
Malenia rolled her eyes and threw a pillow at her brother.
"Whatever! You're the ruler around here, you can't go and kill your own subjects."
"What if I ask our baby sister to do it?"
Kanami perked up visibly. "I would! It would take me less than twenty seconds!"
"See?"
Malenia ruffled her hair around as she fought the urge to throw both of her siblings into some form of impulse counseling.
"Why are you even here?" she suddenly asked. "You're not exactly known to hover around us like this."
"That's not true. Kanami and I hang out all the time. Isn't that right, baby sis?"
Kanami nodded and exchanged a small fist bump with Abaddon.
"You're the only one who acts like she doesn't have time for me." Abaddon said pointedly at Malenia.
"I oversee over 100 schools in all of Sheol!"
"And yet somehow you find the time to go on a date with some loser, but you can't let your brother teach you the difference between 'Yu-gi-oh' and 'Pokémon'."
"What's Pokémon?"
"Jesus fucking christ."
"What?! What did I say wrong that time??"
"Everything!"
Ignoring the squabble of her siblings, Kanami dangled her head off the bed so that she could stare down at her brother on the floor.
"She is right though, Abaddon. For some reason it does feel like you are hiding in here with us."
"Oh... why would you say that?"
"You think I haven't noticed that I can't sense you even when I'm looking at you?"
Abaddon grimaced and slowly drew the manga he was reading over his face in an attempt to hide.
"Come on, spill it. Are you hiding from one of your children maybe?"
"..."
"Our dad?"
"..."
"...Your wives?"
Abaddon reached to turn up the music he was listening to, but Kanami used her tail to stop him.
"Why are you hiding from my sisters-in-law? You usually can't be pried away from them."
Exhausted rom keeping the secret, Abaddon sat up on the ground crosslegged and put down his reading material.
"I want to be with them even now, but they've been wedding planning with the goddess Oshun over the past couple of days and.. I couldn't do it anymore! I didn't think there would be so many details, but I feel like my brain is going to go pop!
Yesterday, the girls asked me for sixty different ideas for flower arrangements and every one of them looked the same! The day before that I had to try eighty different slices of cake. Eighty! I'm pretty sure I made myself a diabetic for a couple of seconds!
Today we have to pick an officiant, make seating charts, and send out invitations, and gods know what else! I told them I had a meet with the gods, but that finished hours ago! This is my last resort."
""Wow. Good to know we're both a means to an end for you.""
"I love you both though, and I am grateful for your cooperation." Abaddon smiled.
*Click!*
At that moment, the door to Kanami's bedroom was opened and Valerie came in, looking positively exhausted.
"There you are. Thank god I found you."
Instead of chewing out her husband, she knocked him onto his back and laid on top of him like a big caterpillar.
"How exactly did you find me?" Abaddon asked, still shocked.
"It's cute that you thought I couldn't, babe. Do me a favor, next time you're going to come hide in your sister's bedroom grab me too. If I have to tie one more ribbon I'm going to use it to hang myself."
"I'm starting to feel like my dark sense of humor is rubbing off on all of you." Abaddon realized.
"That's just the joy of having a family, darling." Valerie gave her husband a small kiss before closing her eyes to rest.
"I'm surprised Bekka didn't come with you."
"The girls are feeding her cake to keep her occupied. She's gone through like eight already."
"Really? She must still be full from two days ago."
Kanami and tossed Valerie a blanket from her bed, and she happily joined in the group hangout session.
"So? What are you guys talking about?"
"Initially I was using the girls to help me brainstorm ideas to help better integrate the gods, but then they started talking about their dating lives and I've been listening to 'The House is Burning' ever since."
"A classic." Valerie nodded.
"Gods, I love you."
The two of them shared a much more intimate kiss than before, but were cut short when two pillows came flying at both of their heads.
"Is it necessary for both of you to make us feel so terribly about our own dating lives?" Malenia said pointedly.
""Sorry?""
"You don't sound like it!"
Abaddon and Valerie shrugged in response.
"...I can't stand either of you."
""But you love us!""
Malenia flopped back onto her bed and let out an exhausted huff; unable to refute their claims in the slightest.
Turning back to her husband, Valerie ran her hands along her husband's jawline. "Gotta say, it's weird that you needed a break from being around so much girly stuff and then came to hang out with two different girls."
Abaddon sighed.
"I was hoping to be around manlier elements, but the boys are out on dates with their women, Darius is ploughing his way through a new brothel, my father is doing something with my mothers that involves baby oil and candles, Hajun is with his grand daughters, and Belphegor-"
"Wants nothing to do with you?"
"Pretty much. Doesn't want his sleep interrupted." Abaddon laughed.
"So we were just your back up squad?" Kanami asked with rolled eyes.
"No, no, I wouldn't say..."
Suddenly, Abaddon's golden eyes twitched and he sat up with a start; alarming Valerie.
"Babe?"
"That's it... I can't believe I've been so blind this whole time!! Hahaha!! This is perfect!!"
Excited, Abaddon grabbed his sister and pulled her in for a crushing hug.
"Thank you sister, thank you!!" He planted a large kiss on her cheek that confuse her more than anything, as she didn't understand why he was reacting this way.
"Um... okay. Any plans to tell me what I did exactly?"
"Nope! You'll have to find out with the rest of Sheol!"
In an instant, Abaddon vanished in a burst of black and red flames and left the three girls sitting around, equally confused and bewildered.
"Alright... Want to hear about my awful date, Valerie?"
"Wait, let me get comfy first... Okay, I'm ready."
-
In Abaddon's throne room, the dragon sat upon his throne with an unusually large and pointy smile on his face.
He snapped his fingers and suddenly his hall was filled with the gods in Sheol who were resting at home comfortably.
"Wha-"
"This is an unfunny little trick..."
"I'm so glad I was dressed at home for the first time in eons..."
"What's the meaning of this, redhead?!" Discord asked annoyedly.
"Kekeke... I'm so glad you asked, little goddess." Abaddon said as he leaned forward on his throne.
"All of you... I have decided that we are going to have Sheol's first annual Celebrity Football Game!"
This 𝓬ontent is taken from fre𝒆webnove(l).𝐜𝐨𝗺