Chapter 603: Anima Like You
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GAHRYE
He fareweled Suhle and started back towards the Tree City. There was a bubbling tension in him—an awareness that every second took him closer to the moment when he would finally take the plunge and cross back to Kalle. Everything within him yearned to wait no longer, to simply go pack and bag and leave. But he knew he had to be wise about it. Not only for the sake of not angering the bears, but so that no one would notice his absence.
This was a day he was to stay out of the way and not be seen by Reth or the other leaders or Cohorts. They had to get used to not seeing him for a day or two here or there, so that when he finally crossed, they wouldn't think twice about it.
So he took the trail through the City that led north. The only things back there were the sentries, some storage trees, and if he took the right branch he'd end up on a trail that would head Northwest and take him to the disformed cave.
He'd spent some time with Suhle and the Tree City had come alive already. He could scent the cooking smells from the market, and at first even hear the hubbub of voices. But the deeper he walked into the forest the more the sounds and smells of his people were hidden from him, until he was walking, deep in thought and not really paying attention to his surroundings, his mind consumed with the questions about what Kalle was going through and what it would be like to hold her again.
He'd just broken into a smile imagining her joy when he walked into the house again when the snap of a twig underfoot cracked through the forest ahead and his head snapped up. But it was just a merchant, a Goat, an older male that he knew from his days selling wares.
Their eyes met and Gahrye gave him a half-smile. The male had always been standoffish, but their businesses had been somewhat in competition—though the other male always sold far more than Gahrye ever did.
He didn't return Gahrye's attempt at a smile, and Gahrye was going to walk on and ignore it, but as they brushed arms on the narrow path, the male muttered, something about him being back to take up space again.
Gahrye's stomach clenched, but he forced himself to keep his voice calm as he stopped and turned to face the male who'd kept walking.
"You don't need to worry, I'm the Queen's Advisor now and that takes all of my time, so I won't be selling on the mall anymore."
The male stopped dead and turned to face him, his face twisted into a dark sneer. "I am not worried about you—though given what we've been through, you have no business being in that kind of position. Our people need strength now, not Anima like you."
Rage fizzed in Gahrye's chest. "Anima like me?"
The males nostrils flared. "You stink. You are a liar and a manipulator. The Queen may have fallen to your deceit, but I do not. You and your people are nothing but a drain on our already taxed people. I don't know why the Creator even made the disformed anyway—I pray he doesn't make more." Then he turned on his heel and started down the trail again.
Gahrye knew he should leave it. Let the man carry his poisonous hate with him and ignore the ignorance and hate he brought. But then he remembered Kalle, staring at him like he was amazing, and her words for him to understand his own value. To value what he brought to the world.
And he thought of the Creator's purpose for him. Would He give Gahrye such a task if Gahrye was worthless?
Was Gahrye worthless if he left his heart in the human world and came here to protect the Queen and fulfill his duty even at cost of his own mate?
This male knew NOTHING.
He wasn't even aware of crossing the widening gap between them, until he had a hand on the male's shoulder and whipped him around.
The male bleated a protest, but Gahrye plowed a forearm into his face, and the male's head snapped back with a cry of pain. But Gahrye didn't stop.
As he tripped the male and took him to the ground, this male… this male became the face of every male who had ever sneered, jeered, or harmed Gahrye or any other disformed.
As he cried out and threw his arms over his head in an attempt to ward himself from the blows that Gahrye rained on him, it was useless. He had never been a fighter. Had only ever used his words as weapons.
Gahrye wondered if he would do it again after this?
"You see nothing. You know NOTHING," he snarled through his teeth as the male curled up on the ground. "Your hate blinds you to everything of value!"
Gahrye lifted a foot to kick the male in his stomach, and froze.
The male had one hand up flat, a protest and a plea. The other arm was curled over his head, and his body curled on itself in an attempt to protect his vulnerable stomach and organs from Gahrye's onslaught.
The urge was there to simply kill the goat. To show him what happened to anyone who underestimated Gahrye. But something in his stomach twisted at the idea.
Would he really become the aggressor? The wrongdoer? Because of his own pain?
Gahrye straightened and the male twitched, but continued to cower. Gahrye's lip curled up.
"You speak to the Queen's Cohort. You speak to the Queen's Advisor. Honored by the King," he snarled. "If you cannot see my value, that is your loss. But if I ever find out that you have spoken this way to another disformed—especially the young… if I find out that you demean your own people simply because of their difference to you, I will hunt you down, and you will not survive the encounter, do you hear me?"
"Yes! Yes!"
"I will not hesitate to let you meet the Creator you are so certain thinks as you do," he growled. "Is that what you want?"
"No! No, I… I'm sorry. I won't… I shouldn't have…"
"Go," Gahrye spat. "Get out of my sight."
The male scrambled to his feet, one arm held to his stomach, and without hesitation, began to sprint towards the Tree City. Gahrye watched him go—the fear in his eyes when he looked over his shoulder, and for a moment there was a gleam of pleasure in his chest.
But it didn't last.
As he started back up the trail in the opposite direction, something ugly twisted within him. He'd just… attacked that man. Hadn't even thought about it. Just… unleashed. A man he knew to be weaker than himself, and not trained.
Not only was it in poor taste, but it would do nothing to improve that male's perspective on the disformed.
He could not become what he hated in others.
And he could not afford to defend his position, his purpose. He couldn't speak of it, or in defense of it. He had to let people keep thinking these things. That was the whole point.
Humility.
Gahrye shook his head. It always came back to swallowing it down. The Creator always put him in a position that he had to just… suck it up.
His entire body began to shake in anger and fear, and without though, Gahrye began to run.
But he couldn't escape the scent of the male now on his skin, or the memories of the look on the male's face.
All Gahrye knew in that moment was that if he did have offspring waiting for him with Kalle, they were better off in the human world so they never have to face that kind of hate.
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