Chapter 591: Show Your Light
LERRIN
She turned her head and her eyes shone with unshed tears. Immediately Lerrin's heart began to pound. What had happened? Why was she sad? Was she changing her mind about going with him if he was banished?
He started to turn, but the pain caught in his shoulder and he stopped.
"Don't move," she whispered, then pushed to her feet and trotted over to the door to make sure it was closed properly, before returning to the pile of blankets she'd made and laying the new ones out. "I think you should lay down," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
Lerrin frowned. "I want to keep talking to you. I'm worried if I lay down I'll fall asleep."
"That might be for the best for you," she said with a firm glance at him. "But no, I think you should lay down because I want to lay with you and if you do fall asleep I won't have to move you and possibly hurt you further."
He supposed that was true—and the idea of holding her, laying side by side, definitely appealed. So he slowly scooted himself over to the blanket and lay on his side. A moment later, Suhle lay down in front of him, her back to his chest. She'd produced a small cushion from the basket and they used it as a pillow. With her warmth under the thin blanket, the pillow, and his arm thrown over her waist, it was the most comfortable Lerrin had felt in weeks.
"This is… perfect," he whispered into her hair.
Suhle slid her fingers between his at her waist, careful not to squeeze his arm, or bump him. "Sleep if you can."
"Suhle?"
"Yes?"
"Why did you go quiet when I said the elders were still discussing what to do with me? Have you… decided against joining me if they banish me?"
"What?! No! No, I just… today I saw… it was obvious today that I could be of help to the people and I was considering whether to give more to that while we are still here."
"You're confident that we'll get to leave," he said, smiling in relief.
Suhle shrugged. "I believe if Reth has control of the decision, you will be released, yes. And I look forward to that day, though I pray that you are healed enough. I need to get a truly trained person in to see you, Lerrin. I am worried about your pain."
"I am touched that you worry for me," he said softly, slowly. His eyes were already beginning to drag down. But it was so delicious to have his arm over her—even with their clothes on—and be enveloped in her smell, he didn't want to sleep and miss a moment of it.
He rested his forehead on the back of her head and let the smell of her hair soothe him.
"Tell me what it's like the Tree City now," he said softly. "Do you think the peace will sustain? The elders seem very concerned about it."
Suhle began to talk, telling him of what happened among the people, how the wolves were free and integrated, but that there were still many sideways looks, and tribal tensions. She spoke of servants who had changed service when their families left to go with the wolves, and who now had to decide who they would serve.
And she very carefully spoke of Reth commending Gahrye at the dinner, and what a shock that had been.
Lerrin tensed, imagining the scene.
Then she got to the part in the story that had obviously made her speak so carefully to begin with.
"And then he… he honored the Equine," she said slowly, her fingers tightening slightly on his. "He… they've been lifted, Lerrin. The wolves are no longer the second in power."
The growl began in Lerrin's chest, but she didn't let go of his hand.
"Please don't be angry," she whispered. "The wolves are not being harmed. They are being given a chance to return. I… I never would have thought it was possible. But… you must see why we cannot hold the position of power we did before."
"Just because I see it does not mean I am happy to see it," Lerrin said through his teeth.
They both lay quietly again. Suhle spoke first. "It was touching… many of the wolves celebrated Gahrye, even though he's disformed."
"We've never had as much of a problem with that as the other tribes," Lerrin reminded her. "Especially the younger wolves."
"Yes, but… it was a moment of true unity. I appreciated it. I was glad I was there."
Lerrin turned that over in his mind. Would he have wanted to be there, to see the final nail in the coffin of his people's power—knowing that he and his family had been the ones to begin their final slide? He wasn't sure. But he did know one thing, he wished he could have shared that with Suhle. Sat with her, watched with her, discussed it with her, not simply been informed.
He buried his nose in her neck and pulled her closer to his chest, despite the way his ribs protested.
"Lerrin?" she asked a moment later.
"I just want to be close to you, Suhle," he said. "The rest… I have to let it go. I can't do anything about it. I can't change the past. I can only walk into the future. Please tell me you'll come with me if they release me."
"I will, Lerrin, you have my vow. I will always be at your side until the Creator tears me from it," she said simply.
He shook his head and kissed her neck.
"I do not deserve you," he breathed, "but I am so damn happy to have you. Our future is going to be different, Suhle. That is my vow to you. With you at my side I will never be blind again. You must promise me you'll tell me if you see me turning away from the truth again."
She sighed. "I will. But… but I also can be blind, Lerrin. Please… do not believe me infallible."
"I don't," he sighed, closing his eyes and leaning into her. "I just know you carry more light than I do, so I trust you to see more, that's all."
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