Chapter 561: That Smile
LERRIN
A new kind of ache—or rather, a different one—hit him then. He needed her. Needed to be close to her, to hold her, to be certain she was safe and well. Despite his own pain, he yearned for her, and as he opened his mind to find her, he was immediately embraced with her yearning for him.
You're awake! she sent before he'd even found his words. How bad is it? I'm getting you some food. Do you think you can eat? I think you need to.
The idea of anything solid made him sick, but he agreed with her that his body? needed it.
I'll try, he sent.
There was a hesitation in her then, a waiting. To see his heart.
He closed his eyes. Are you well my love?
He felt her—she was sharing everything with him—the cascade of joy that showered her when he gave her those words. He cursed himself for hurting her as he had in these past days.
I am better than well, Lerrin. I have your heart. That's all I yearn for.
I yearn too, he sent back. For you.
She sent so much then—images of himself the evening before and he could feel her fear. A scattered, dark picture of himself asleep in the dead of night, shivering, and the way she'd laid her body behind him, her forehead between his shoulder blades, afraid to wrap him in her arms because of his injuries.
And through it all he could feel her… her overwhelming love, her relief at being close to him… and her fear.
I am not going to leave you again, Suhle, he sent carefully. I am… uneasy about how things started between us. But you are mine. You will always be mine. We will find our way. If we can. I am a prisoner, and likely to remain so.
He felt her sigh in pleasure, and a bittersweet ache—and his mind flickered suddenly, with her fleeting thought… the two of them together in his bed at the encampment, him curled over her, tasting her neck, his shoulders arched out the furs, and the tent silent except for their twin breaths.
And they were both naked.
Lerrin blinked in shock as the image passed as quickly as it had come.
I wish we had had that moment, she said in his head, her voice breathy and hesitant.
Still in shock, Lerrin tried to curb the response of his body to what she'd shown him. But even under his injuries… he wanted her.
Suhle… he sent, uncertain how to approach this.
Don't worry, Lerrin, she murmured in his head. What the Creator intends will be. Somehow. Some way. You are mine. The bond… our day will come.
He didn't have the right words, but he sent his heart back to her, the overwhelming sense of rightness and joy the thought of her brought him.
I pray so, Suhle, he sent gently. I pray so.
*****
An hour later, alone in his head, Lerrin was still thinking about her. Still wrestling with his fear, but willing to be given to it. She would be there soon, and he knew they needed to speak. Not only about themselves, and the bond, and how they could continue while he was imprisoned, but…
When she'd been distracted to help in the kitchens and they broke the connection, he'd known he needed to rest his body and try to heal. But something was niggling at him. A problem.
He'd spent the last hour applying himself to determining how he might reunite with his mate outside of this hollow tree, and out from under the eyes, ears, and noses of guards. And, thought it was a risk, if he could heal, he had an idea.
But he would need Suhle's help.
He shivered—which lit his body up in pain. He wanted to trust. Wanted to rest her in. He would—he would not give up. But there was an undeniable fear within him. He'd been betrayed by the things hidden from him by his sister, his father, his second… and then his mate.
Trusting her, asking for her help seemed natural, and yet his gut twisted every time he thought on it.
But he had no choice. He was a pragmatic male and he knew… he knew there was no way to bond with her fully without giving himself into her hands.
And he knew her heart was good.
So, as he lay on the floor of his prison and waited for her to arrive, he prayed. Prayed for the strength to do what he must without fear. And for her safety. And… and that this didn't have to be the end for them. That somehow… somehow his dream of that cave, of her alongside him, didn't have to be over. That it was still possible.
Then the door opened and a guard—the usual guard, his Lieutenant that had heard his protest about the way the Guards spoke to Suhle, and who had kept the others in line since… until last night—that guard peered around to make certain he hadn't moved. He frowned when he saw Lerrin's bruised and broken face, but he ushered Suhle in and closed the door behind her.
So much for an ally there, Lerrin thought to himself.
She hurried towards him with wide basket over her arm, her eyes pinched and lined with worry.
"Can you move?" she asked breathlessly, dropping to the floor next to him, heedless of the dried blood that now stained the wooden slats.
"I can," he croaked, then cursed himself for it. It hurt to talk.
"Shhhh… that's good, that's good. Now you're going to have to be a good male and eat your breakfast without whining, okay?"
He looked at her, unimpressed and she gave a half smile, then a tinkling giggle broke from her. Lerrin was stunned. He'd never seen her so… girlish. But she shushed herself, and settled the basket on the floor next to her knee and started to pull things from it.
I'm not supposed to bring you these, but I wanted to soothe you, she sent with a glance over her shoulder towards the door. Chew these herbs and drink the water, then we'll wait a few minutes. I'm hoping you'll soon be comfortable enough to sit up to eat.
Lerrin opened his mouth obediently and took the herbs, chewing them slowly because his jaw had been almost unhinged the night before.
Then they stared at each other as they waited for them to take effect and Lerrin wasn't sure if the warming in his chest came from the herbs he'd just swallowed, or the small smile that hadn't left her beautiful face.
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