Chapter 555: Can't Sleep
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*****
RETH
They woke slowly the next morning. As had happened the day before, the scent of his mate woke Reth with a smile. But this time it was difficult to get his eyes to stay open.
He had struggled for hours to get to sleep, jolting awake every time he started to nod off, his mind and body determined to remind him that she might shift again, or that the baby would come. Then later, alight with some nameless, vague fear that something bad was happening whenever her breathing got quiet, because Elia slept so deeply she barely moved.
After the days they'd had, there was no rest for any part of him while his beautiful mate and child were still at risk. And much as he knew he needed the sleep, allowing it to come when his subconscious was terrified proved challenging.
He had finally fallen asleep deeply in the early hours of the morning, but it wasn't for long enough. When the lanterns flickered on and Elia began to stir and sigh, he was wrenched awake again, bleary eyed, and with a throat rough from weariness.
"Good morning," he rasped when Elia rolled over—slowly, and growling about a sore back—and opened her eyes.
"Oh, thank the Creator," she breathed, putting a hand to his face.
"Are you well, love?"
She took a moment to consider herself, then looked down at her own belly. "Yes… I think so. But… it's morning? How long have I been asleep? What happened?"
"You shifted. Then you slept like the dead," he said dryly, trying to downplay the chittering fear he'd felt for the last twelve hours or more.
"Shifted? Why?"
He waited a moment as she scanned her memories—was she having trouble holding onto her thoughts when the beast was threatening?
But then Elia's face fell, taking his heart to his toes with it.
"Oh," she said quietly.
He saw the moment she remembered everything. Her entire body deflated and her forehead pinched into lines. Then she looked up at him.
He put a hand over her hand on his face before she took it away. "Please, Love. Trust me. I would never say no if I thought there was any way—"
"But it's his mate, Reth," she breathed. "His True Mate." Thankfully, she didn't speak with anger this time, but with sadness. He would take her sad over angry any moment when her beast was so close to the surface, even as it cut him to the bone to hear her sound like she might weep.
The night before as she'd slept and Aymora had determined that she was well enough to be left to rest, they had briefly discussed dosing Elia with the tonic while she slept. Reth was concerned she might shift in her sleep and he wouldn't know. But he knew also knew his mate wouldn't be happy later if she learned they had done that without her consent.
Aymora had pointed out that she didn't seem to be struggling against the shift while she was sleeping. And she was always reluctant to give Elia any of the tonics when she was so late in the pregnancy.
He'd allowed himself to be convinced—knowing that if they made it through the night, Elia would be grateful. So he'd taken the risk. But then been unable to sleep well. And now, as he faced her possible emotional upheaval again, he wondered if that had been a stupid decision.
She stared at him like she might cry, though, and that made panic start in his gut. He needed her happy. Rested. Peaceful. He needed her… okay.
"I hear you. I do," he said roughly. "And I will… I will discuss with those who were around for the agreement. I will ask them if they see any space for us to advantage of. But if not… Elia, I need time. Time to negotiate with Gawhr. You haven't met the bears. They aren't like the rest of us. Their beasts are… far closer to the surface."
She sighed heavily, but nodded. "Okay. You talk to the council first. I'll talk to Gahrye."
"Gahrye knows, Elia. He was here yesterday. He heard all of it."
"I know. But I need him to know that I'm not the one holding him back."
She must have sensed the bristling in him at that because she gave him an apologetic look. "No, Reth," she said, "I mean… I promised him. When we were there, I was certain—I didn't know about the bears—I was certain I could convince you to free him from the blood vow, and let him return. I promised him. I… I didn't anticipate anything like this."
Reth sighed and pulled her close. He could understand that. HE would have felt the same if he was in her shoes.
He pushed away the resentful feelings—always around Gahrye—and cuddled his mate. She sighed happily for the first time, and burrowed into the gap under his chin. He stroked her back while she played her fingers on his shoulder, and neither of them spoke. They lay that way long enough that he was beginning to doze off again when she suddenly rolled over and he smelled the tension in her.
"What, what is it?!" He came awake with a jolt, pushing up on one elbow.
"No, no, Reth, there's nothing. I mean, nothing new," she said quietly, one hand on his arm.
He looked around, then inhaled. "Then why do you smell afraid?" he asked gruffly. His hair had fallen out of its bond overnight and fell across his face as he stared down at her. It was natural to throw an arm across her waist and pull her closer, to lean over her and trail his lips over hers. To try to kiss away her fear.
And she responded, stretching her head up to meet him, her fingers splaying in his hair, her kiss deepening quickly. But even as his body began to tighten with need, she relaxed and held his face away so she could meet his eyes.
"I love you, Reth. So much."
"I love you, too."
"Good, because I need you to train me."
*****
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