Chapter 528: The Specter of Fear - Part 2
ELIA
Aymora cleared her throat. "You're suffering, Elia. You have experienced awful things. And a great deal of fear. You cannot stifle that and believe it will not cost you. If you try… it will only come out in ugly ways. You've been through a lot of fear and change in the recent months. So has your mate. You will both be changed by it, and you'll shock each other with your changes. Elia, you need to be open and honest about what you're feeling, what hurts you, and what frightens you."
Elia swallowed. "There are three things," she said carefully. "Being apart from Reth. I'm terrified we'll be kept from each other. Losing Elreth. And… getting stuck in my beast again. If I shift… Aymora, I'm not sure I can get back."
Aymora took a deep breath. "When you are delivered and your cub has grown, we can train you for the shifting—if it's still happening."
"Why wouldn't it? Aren't I Anima now?"
Aymora shrugged. "We don't know if the effects of the blood are permanent or not. As for your cub, well, we can never be certain with a delivery. It is dangerous, it's true. But myself and Jayah and all the wise-women will help, and the other mothers. We haven't lost a baby in the Tree City because of delivery in many years. We'll pray you aren't the next. But… Elia you just need to keep her inside as long as possible."
Elia nodded, stroking her belly. "I know. She's grown so fast." Then her heart began to pound again. "Will she continue to grow too fast, do you think?"
"I don't think so. I think it's your human blood. Once Elreth is out of your body… unless she has human blood herself…" Aymora sighed. "The truth is, I don't know. That's why things are scary. But we will get through them, Elia. Together."
Elia swallowed tears. "Thank you."
They were both quiet for a moment, Aymora's fingers entwined with Elia's. But then, as if she braced for it, Aymora rolled her jaw and spoke again.
"As for your fear about Reth, about being apart from him… I understand that fear. I have lived it," she said quietly.
Her mate, Elia thought. She lost her mate. "Do you want to talk about it? I don't want to pry."
"You're my daughter. It isn't prying for you to ask about my life, Elia."
Elia waited, watching her face, but Aymora didn't turn, didn't meet her eyes. Just spoke to the ceiling of the cave.
"The truth is, I never want to speak of it. But I hope it might help you to hear my story. Or at least, let you see you are not alone in your fear."
Elia swallowed again and squeezed Aymora's hand as the older woman's eyes began to well.
"It's okay," Elia whispered. "I'll still be here when you're ready."
Then she lay there, stroking Aymora's hand with her thumb, and waited.
*****
RETH
He sat in the largest chair in the Great Room, his the dry skin of his elbow catching on its worn leather. The males around him continued to discuss what was happening in the City—where they'd reached the day before, what had happened over night. But Reth was struggling to concentrate.
Elia was here. She was home. And she needed him.
She'd curled up like a child in his arms all night, clutching him even in her sleep whenever he moved as if he might shift away.
Aymora had stayed in the room to be with her while he was gone. She'd come out a few minutes ago to get a drink in the kitchen, moving quietly and discreetly so she wouldn't draw attention, but Reth had wanted to roar at her—his mate was alone! What was she doing?!
He knew the urge for the irrational thought that it was and kept his teeth closed to stop himself speaking. He should take it as a good sign that Aymora had left the room for a moment. That meant that Elia wasn't in danger.
Didn't it?
"…all in all, it could have been so much worse." Pharrayn, the sheep elder commented. "The melding does seem to be keeping the wolves in check, at least for this initial gathering. We do have some logistics to sort out today—some of the homes are still empty, while others have more than one family. We'll need to explore whether they're staying together because they wish to, or whether one side doesn't want to relinquish it. But these are little more than petty squabbles. We should have them sorted in days."
"Petty squabbles can become bloodthirsty conflicts when the people are tense," Behryn replied.
"Certainly. But my point is that if we appoint an elder, or a panel, to mediate any conflicts that arise, if we prioritize housing and food for everyone, even the small pressures we have now will dissipate. We just spent a peaceful night, the very first night after a split tribe reunited… frankly, I'm floored."
The other elders murmured, either in agreement, or reluctant uncertainty.
Reth agreed that a night with no actual conflicts was a achievement, given where they'd come from just days earlier. They continued to discuss the best way forward and it was decided that since Brant was still ordered by Aymora to stay off his feet, he could attend a table in the City where the people could bring their questions or concerns about housing or resources, and the joint council would answer them daily.
Reth breathed easier knowing he wouldn't have to be instrumental in that.
He almost felt peaceful, so grateful was he that the people seemed to be invested in their own peace.
Then Behryn had to go and drop a steaming pile in the middle of the room.
"I think the thing we have to decide quickly is what the hell we're going to do now with Lerrin. Reth? Bringing him in was your stroke of genius. Mind sharing with the rest of us where you think this goes from here?"
Reth swallowed the sudden urge to bite out his best friend's throat.
*****
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