Chapter 443: Silence
KALLE
When they got back to the suite, Gahrye raced in to check Elia, but was chased back out almost immediately by a deep growl. He appeared, his face sad and haggard, but he didn't say anything. Just closed the door quickly and quietly, then slumped. Kalle hurried over to him, wrapping her arms around his waist and stroking his back, laying her head against his chest.
"Hey, hey, she'll be okay. She's just struggling. It's not going to be a big deal if she takes a couple days out. Maybe by that time Reth's here to get her—I bet that will bring her out the beast faster than anything."
Gahrye rubbed her upper arms, but didn't meet her gaze. He was frowning at the door as he if could see what was on the other side of it. "I don't know. Something feels different, Kalle," he said quietly, his voice deep and hushed. "It's like… It's like she's not fighting anymore. She's been the beast so much lately—and before that she kept talking about how hard it was to fight it. Usually when she looks at me in the beast I can see that flash of recognition, you know? But now she's just… she's just acting like a lion. I'm terrified she's going silent… or that she will if Reth is… I mean he's probably fighting Lerrin right now. What if he—"
"Let's not worry until we know we've got something to worry about, okay?" she said briskly—and completely faking. She prayed Gahrye was too consumed with his own concerns to scent her closely. She was terrified he was right. Terrified they wouldn't receive news, which was the worst news of all, because surely if Reth won, he'd send someone to bring Elia back right away? But Gahrye needed some hope and she was determined to give it to him.
"We have to get her back to Anima," Gahrye said as if he hadn't even heard her, his eyes fixed in the middle distance. "She's alive over there. And there's people who can help her with the beast. I have to get her over there, Kalle."
Kalle's stomach dropped, because he didn't say the words with determination, or excitement. He didn't say it as if he'd had a brilliant idea.
He said it like it was a death knell.
"Well, you can't do that yet. We don't even know if the wolves have given the territory back—surely if they had, Reth would have sent someone through, right? So you guys can't risk that. No." She was babbling, she knew, but she could see Gahrye's jaw tightening. See the way he was becoming resolved. Flaying himself. Determined to do what was right, not what he wanted—to stay there with her.
And dammit, that's what she wanted him to do, too.
She'd been trying to avoid thinking about this, about how quickly it might happen. She'd been distracted that morning from the implications of Elia's note by getting Gahrye through it and to the interview with Shaw. But… but now those words kept coming back to her.
HE AND LERRIN ARE FIGHTING FOR DOMINANCE TODAY.
That meant… that probably meant that Reth would have the Anima back by that evening, tomorrow at the latest. Even if he had things to work through, transitions… Things were moving. They likely had weeks at best. Possibly only days.
If it was a resounding victory, perhaps hours.
Her entire body went tight as the image of holding Gahrye, saying goodbye, washed over her like a memory, as if it had already happened. And her heart cracked.
"What?" he said, suddenly focusing on her. "What did you just think, are you okay?"
She clung to his chest, his voice rumbling in her ear and she nodded. "I'm-I'm fine. I'm just… I'm just sad for Elia and praying for Reth and… and hoping. I'm still hoping Gahrye. I'm not giving up."
He pulled her face away from his chest, combing his fingers through her hair, and stared into her eyes. "Me too," he said, his voice low and rough. "Every minute, Kalle. I'm praying."
She swallowed. Gahrye wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his chest, nuzzling her hair. But after a minute of listening to his heartbeat, his voice vibrated under her ear again.
"We're getting the hidden histories, all of them, and we're bringing them back here. I'm going to find out how the Protectors got people across, Kalle. And I'm going to find out if we can get you there. I have to."
She didn't even try to argue, just nodded, swallowing back tears and pulling out of his arms. "I had an idea," she said. "That trunk will be really noticeable, but suitcases won't be. Not to other people. So lets get some luggage and bring them all back that way."
"Luggage?" Gahrye said, his brow pinched to lines.
"It means cases made specifically for travel, when we fly, or drive a long way—"
"You can fly?!" he gasped.
Kalle snorted. "No, I mean, airplanes. Not birds. We can… nevermind. Just, trust me, suitcases are the way to go. And they have wheels, so I can carry much heavier loads."
He still looked skeptical, like he thought she was lying. Kalle made a mental note to play him a video of an airplane taking off sometime soon, just to see that blank, fascinated, terrified look on his face that he always got when he saw technology at work. Then she kissed him and ducked away to get the suitcases and keys.
*****
It took three hours to get everything together and down to the basement of the library. But Gahrye was able to carry two of the cases at a time—he would have taken more but she told him people would notice—so once she got the books into the luggage, they were able to load up the car quickly.
He still held the Oh Shit handle every time he was in the car, but he'd stopped turning gray around the edges of his face.
Kalle wondered how long he'd have to be there before cars didn't freak him out anymore. Maybe never. He said they still stank.
Thoughts of him staying inevitably led to thoughts of him leaving and Kalle found herself near tears, so she pushed the thoughts away and turned back to the books they had spread out on the coffee table.
They'd decided that the safest place for the cases was in Elia's room. She was always there—and if anyone who wasn't them went it, they were going to leave pretty fast. But taking the cases in there, Kalle saw what Gahrye meant.
Elia in lion form wasn't watching them like she knew them—which she'd done before. She watched them the way a scared lion would when it found itself in an enclosed space with strange humans.
And that was perhaps the scariest thing of all. But Kalle refused to let herself imagine where that would take them, what threat Gahrye would be? under if…
No. She wasn't thinking about that.
She was going to find what they needed to get Elia safely across the traverse so she could get back to her mate and get healthy again. And she was going to pray—every minute—that they could find something to get Kalle across, or to free Gahrye to come back to her like Elia had suggested.
Come back to her. Quickly. And safely.
That was what they needed.
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