Chapter 378: Confronted
LERRIN
His heart raced, thundering in his ears. How had he been so blind? How had he ignored this? How could he have dishonored her this way?
"Suhle?" he breathed. "Please…"
I fear that you will say something we cannot take back, Lerrin.
Her voice in his head was a beautiful chime that echoed in his heart and he cursed himself again for not allowing himself to see this sooner.
Tomorrow I leave to secure our future, he sent. But because I have not secured our present, I leave you in danger. This does not sit well with me.
I have spent much of my life in danger, she sent quietly. You know I can hide. I will protect myself.
But I want to protect you.
The words were stark and revealing, and she knew it. Her breath sucked in, then stopped.
Lerrin plowed on, sending images of her as he saw her—gentle, loving, thoughtful, wise, so patient and self-controlled. Her dignity and grace. Her subversive sense of humor.
Her humility.
Her faith in him…
You are not my servant, Suhle. I do not know what has stood in the way for me. I have been blind to so many things. I see myself now more clearly every day, and I do not like what I see.
Do not shun yourself, she returned. You are a good male, Lerrin.
Not good enough. I didn't see what was happening in my people, I didn't see you. Suhle, I see you now.
He felt her tense, and wasn't sure if it was through the bond, or because she was so close he could sense it. But it wasn't the kind of tension he'd hoped she would feel.
Lerrin—
Let me tell you what I see now. And we… we must figure this out, Suhle. I cannot leave you here unguarded. I cannot take you with me. We must figure it out. Together.
There is no need—
There is every need! You are the mate to the true King! You are the mate to the Alpha! I will not stand for anything, or anyone to harm you!
Her intake of breath was tiny and sharp. Lerrin's pulse pounded in his ears. He feared she would speak rather than send, and that he wouldn't hear her when she did.
He sat up in the bed, staring at the screen that lay between them, pleading with her to reveal herself.
Lerrin…
Suhle, it's true. You know it's true. I'm so sorry I didn't see it. How long have you known?
She sighed. But it was not a sigh of relief.
Fear jangled in his belly.
Suhle, please—
I was not sure until… until I kissed you, she sent, and he could feel her cheeks heating through the bond.
Hope burned in his chest right alongside the terror.
I am so sorry I was so blind. To so many things. But especially to this, he sent. Forgive me. If I had known I would not have left you in this… slavery.
I am not a slave! she sent back firmly. Do not pity me, Lerrin. I choose servitude because I find joy in it. Do not steal my joy from me.
I never would. I never want to. Suhle… Suhle, you are my mate. My True Mate. I cannot fathom how I did not see it—
You cannot think on this now, she sent, her voice a frantic wail in his head.
He had to fist the furs to stop himself going to her, reaching for her. He could not reach for her until she wanted him to, he knew that. But fuck…
Suhle, let me hold you, please.
His voice in his head sounded hoarse, even to him. He vibrated like he might shatter.
How had he not seen this? How had he not known?
But if you hold me… if? hold you… then he kills you… Lerrin…
A stab of pain shot through the bond—her pain. The image she sent was of a tall, beautiful and graceful wolf, brought down, her guts spilling to the forest floor as she writhed in pain.
Lerrin sucked in and was halfway out of the furs, his feet almost to the floor, when the screen pushed back and Suhle stood there, staring at him in the dark, a long, soft nightdress hanging from her shoulders.
Their eyes met in the dark and Lerrin's breath shoved out of him as if he'd been punched.
Neither of them moved.
Lerrin licked his lips, yearning to touch her, to hold her. But terrified of scaring her away. And through the bond, she showed him… himself.
The strength that she saw him carry—his willingness to press on even when those around him were more barrier than support.
The integrity in his eyes when he balanced the bloodthirst of his men and used his mind, rather than his hunting instincts.
The gentleness she felt from him when he looked at her, or thought of her. The care he showed to keep her safe and away from fear. The tenderness in his gaze when they were alone.
Then she showed him the way he looked to her. Tall, handsome, fur and hair dark as night, but not his mind. He saw himself smile—she noticed the tiny lines at the corners of his eyes, and the smooth strength of his jaw.
She noticed the hard, straight lines in his neck, and the hollow of his throat.
She noticed the warmth of his skin when she bathed him, and the marble lines of his muscles at his back, his shoulders, chest, and stomach.
She wanted to trace the lines of muscle on his thighs.
She wanted to lick his collarbones.
Dear Creator above, she wanted him.
And she was terrified of that.
But she wanted him.
Lerrin grunted like he'd been stabbed. "I would never take you, Suhle. You are safe with me."
"I know," she whispered. "And it only makes me want you more."
Lerrin's control broke and he stumbled around the bed towards her.
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