Chapter 364: Needing You
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ELIA
It was terrifying how quickly it happened. How fast she lost control.? One second she was arguing with Shaw in the dining room, the glittering chandelier irritating her with the way it fractured light, while a twisting, clawing deep in her belly made her want to bite something. Literally.
The next she was looking at Shaw, at this room, at Gahrye and Kalle through eyes that weren't her own.
But then she'd been deep in the beast, deep in fear and rage, and the instinct to kill. She'd started fighting immediately, but nothing had happened. It was as if she was nothing but a passenger on this beast's back.
It wanted to eat Shaw.
It wanted to eat Gahrye.
Kalle was something of an after thought.
As Elia realized with horror that she wasn't sure how to stop it, she wanted to turn away. To not see what it did. The urge was there to just give up, to let it take whatever it wanted—whomever it wanted. Because that was the truth. She could feel it, and it wanted blood. It was terrified in this strange place. It's instincts told it to kill first, to create space and control.
Then she'd heard that sweet, soft voice speaking her heart.
"She needs to know she's safe… When a woman is surrounded by men it's an insecure feeling sometimes."
She'd wanted to argue—when she was with Reth, when Reth was one of the males she was surrounded by, she never felt insecure or lost. But without him… without him everything was scary. The things she could hear now, the things she could sense and smell. Her entire world had changed, and the only person in Creation who could make sense of it all for her wasn't there.
She'd been curious about this woman who seemed to know… something about what she needed. Somehow she'd urged the Beast closer—to do as she asked when she told Gahrye that she could prove Elia was there.
And suddenly, it was instinctive for Elia as well, that direction. Showing the beast what she wanted, what she needed. And although there was resistance, the beast did as she asked.
She just wished she knew how she'd managed it.
Then, Kalle did the most amazing thing. The thing Elia hadn't even realized she'd needed.
She'd met eyes with the Beast—not in challenge—and murmured, "I recognize you."
The declaration went straight to Elia's heart. She hadn't even realized she'd been feeling so lost, so bereft. As if here, somehow, she wasn't what she used to be. As if without Reth next to her, without being present in the Tree City, she had become nothing again. No one.
Shaw's challenge hadn't hurt her feelings, it had spoken her unspoken fear. It was why the Beast had come forward. And why she'd been tempted to let it stay there.
She'd needed something to show herself that she was still Elia. Still Reth's mate. Still the Queen of her people—whether they recognized her or not.
That one, simple gesture had broken her heart open and she'd wanted to come back then. Except… how?
The Beast didn't care about who was there, only that she feel safe. But Elia was fascinated to watch Kalle… understanding Gahrye. It made her heart squeeze—and grieve, just a little bit. She knew what it did to find that person. It was the most wonderful thing that could happen to you. But it forever changed your relationships with everyone else.
Gahrye wouldn't need her, Elia, like he had before. And that was good. But Elia would miss the closeness they shared.
And she was going to laugh her ass off when they were all back in Anima, in peace, and Kalle was still running circles around him.
"I know you meant well," Kalle said and Gahrye's eyes bulged. "And believe me, I love the dominance thing. Like, anytime, for real, Gahrye, you give me tingles when you do that. But right now she doesn't need to be dominated, she needs to be comforted. And you can't do it."
"I'm her best friend!"
"You also have a penis. Trust me, there's a time a girl just needs girls."
If Elia had been in human form she would have laughed and sobbed in the same moment. She hadn't thought about it, had been avoiding thoughts of Candace altogether…. But with Aymora with Reth, and Candace gone… Kalle was right.
Elia needed a girl friend who could understand… well, just being female.
The rest was something of a blur. Kalle spoke softly to her—and Elia had the feeling that if she could have, Kalle would have stroked her fur. And as Kalle got lost in talking to her, trying to help… she did.
Elia wasn't sure how, but at some point she simple came back. It happened as quickly as the shift had descended on her. She wasn't even sure why.
But she could hear Kalle. "…Come back. Be calm. Come back. No one is here to hurt you. Let me help you. Gahrye cares for you so deeply, and you've been so good to him, please, Elia, let me help you."
Then she was there. "You already have," Elia said faintly, then sobbed.
Kalle turned, eyes wide and they regarded each other.
"Thank you," Elia said through her tears. "I'm not sure why I'm crying."
"Grandma says pregnancy is a bitch," Kalle commented with a shrug.
Elia laughed and cried at the same time. "Yes, yes it is."
They both stood there for a minute, then Elia swallowed her pride and reached out to hug the girl. The girl? She realized Kalle was probably not more than three or four years younger than her. But somehow it felt like a decade.
She pulled her into a hug and whispered, "Thank you."
"You're welcome. It's what I was trained for. I'm just glad it worked," Kalle said, squeezing her back.
"Not just for this," Elia said and swallowed more tears. "Thank you for seeing Gahrye."
Kalle sucked in a breath, then pulled back and met her eyes. "I'm pretty sure he saw me first."
Elia nodded. "He's good at that."
"Yes, he is."
There was another pause, then Elia said, "If you hurt him I am going to let my Beast eat you."
Kalle's eyes widened, then she grinned. "Deal."
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