Chapter 306: Crazy Cat Lady
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GAHRYE - Human World
"It was so real, Gahrye, you don't understand. I think… I think we're seeing each other somehow. I think—"
"Elia, I know that would be wonderful, but I really feel like you have to think this through. We haven't found anything in any of the histories about people connecting across the worlds. And that kind of connection through the mating bond is so rare, even within Anima… I just—"
"I'm not crazy!" she cried and bared her teeth, then clapped her hands over her mouth.
"It's fine, Elia." He sighed when she just shook her head and put her face in her hands. "Elia, relax, it's fine."
Her blonde hair fell around her arms, fluttering and waving as she shook. Gahrye sighed and put a hand to her shoulder.
They sat on the couch in the sitting room, Elia had her legs curled up, and Gahrye sat in the corner with one arm up on the back—when he wasn't touching her shoulder in an attempt to offer some kind of comfort.
Elia was in pieces. She was feeling the urge to shift more and more often. She swung wildly between calm, sad, angry, and depressed. She'd growled at him twice already, then, just like this, got upset with herself for doing. She changed between emotions so quickly it gave him whiplash.
"Elia, you're going through so much. It's okay. I understand."
And he did. But his own hands ached because he was so tense he kept clenching them when he wasn't using them.
Usually Elia was asleep at this time, usually Gahrye was sneaking down to see Kalle—or sneaking Kalle in to see him. But tonight he'd decided to shower before going to find her and while he was still in the bathing room Elia had only slept a few minutes, then woken from some kind of dream that had her convinced she was crossing the divide between worlds and seeing Reth.
He didn't know whether it was a dream, or she was already starting to lose her mind. And that thought threatened to make him lose his.
Every moment he was with Elia he yearned to be with Kalle. And every moment he was with Kalle, he felt guilty about Elia. It was a vicious cycle that had kept him awake far too late most nights, and stopped him from taking the final step with Kalle—who was beginning to be harder and harder to convince to stop when they did have stolen moments together.
Gahrye sighed heavily, and Elia did too.
He now felt that he had a better window into why Elia had so desperately fought Reth on sending her here. He wasn't sure whether the Kings resolution to put her here was a mark of his immense strength, or some kind of stupidity.
Gahrye hadn't even mated Kalle yet and it felt like leaving her for hours was tearing a piece of his soul away each time.
How was he supposed to leave her here in this world when he had to go?
"I'm sorry," Elia said a minute later, throwing her head back so her hair flipped over her shoulders, and wiping her eyes. "I have turned into such a… crazy cat lady!" She sputtered and chuckled and Gahrye wasn't even sure why. But before he could ask, she continued. "I can't even… I can't believe you're even putting up with this."? He squeezed her shoulder and smiled at her. She tried to return it through her tears. "I'm going to go back to bed," she said softly then leaned in to hug him.
Gahrye felt bad. He'd avoided touching Elia so much since Kalle. It felt… off to have another female in his arms. But she was so broken right now. They both were. Sometimes it was just needed. So, he opened his arm and she leaned on his chest and he squeezed her close. Just for a minute.
"You're going to get through this," he said softly. "We're going to find what you need, and you're strong. You're going to do it."
"I don't want to die, Gahrye," she said softly. "And I don't want to lose my mind. But sometimes I feel like I already am."
His stomach plunged to his toes. This was what was keeping him awake at night. There were so many things going on, he couldn't tell which to treat with the most urgency. Was it the pregnancy making Elia so erratic? Was that causing the shift? Or was it just being human and coming back here that was making her fall to pieces, then jump down everyone's throats a moment later?
"You aren't losing your mind. Not any more than usual," he joked, but it fell flat.
They sat there for a moment, both staring at the carpet. Then, without removing her head from his chest, Elia spoke in a whisper.
"I need to ask you a favor."
"Anything," he said, and meant it.
"If… if anything happens to me… you save Elreth. You save her and you take her to Reth immediately. You don't let her live here without either of us."
Gahrye closed his eyes and swallowed. "Of course," he said, his voice strangled. "But nothing's going to happen to you, Elia. Reths's going to defeat the wolves, then come for you, and you'll have her in Anima, and you'll all be sickeningly happy, because that's what you two were intended for. The Creator said so."
"So, you have a direct line to the big guy, now, huh?"
"What do you think reading the winds is?"
Elia sighed. "Can you read the winds here?"
He could, of a sort, though it felt different. He prayed that was simply a difference in the worlds, and not a limit to his ability. He needed to be able to scent it coming if there was a problem.
"Yes, I can," he said, after a touch too long.
She squeezed him again. "It's not your fault if this goes wrong, Gahrye."
"I know, but—"
"No, listen to me," she said, pushing up and away, out of his arm. She met his eyes with her own red and shining. But her shoulders were back and her chin set low as it should be. "You were thrown into this with no help, no guidance, and no communication. You've been… amazing. I know I'm crazy right now, and I hope that I'll get more control over this, not less. But no matter what, Gahrye… I couldn't have done this without you. You have been a gift from the Creator. So if something does go wrong, we'll accept that that was part of his plan, just as we would if it was good, okay?"
Gahrye raised an eyebrow. "I thought you didn't believe in the Creator's plan?"
She shrugged. "It's true I swing back and forth on that right now," she said with half-grin. "But I am sure of this: If His plan is real… He put you here to help me."
Neither of them mentioned Candace. It was still an open wound neither of them had the energy to face. She'd told him enough to understand what had happened—how quick it had been, mercifully. But they hadn't discussed it since.
Elia blew out a breath and got up from the couch. "I'm going to try to go back to sleep," she said quietly. "But I meant what I said, okay? You are not to take responsibility if things go wrong. We were thrown here with nothing… I'm just glad Kalle's here to help you. I'm sorry I've been so preoccupied…"
He made the right noises to let her off the hook, and she ruffled his hair then walked away, back to her room and closed the door with a soft, "Goodnight!"
And Gahrye sat back to wait the hour he would wait to make sure she didn't wake again, before he went on the hunt for Kalle.
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