Chapter 301: Impatient
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LERRIN - Anima
An hour later Lerrin stalked down the trails through the encampment, towards his tent. His ire rose as he made himself look and found many of the small discomforts and ill-disciplines he had noticed with Asta, sprinkled throughout the camp.
He wanted to bite something. What had infected his people who were usually so dedicated to cleanliness and detail? He would amend his order to Asta and demand to speak with the fist leaders himself tomorrow. This would not continue. But for now, he had to push on. He was already late getting to his tent.
The security council were going to meet there today since he had the most space. He'd warned Suhle that the males would be coming and might beat him to the tent. He'd hoped to be there to greet them—ignoring the little voice in the back of his head that whispered he wanted to be there so Suhle wouldn't get that hunted look in her eyes—but dealing with Asta had taken longer than he'd anticipated, and now he was running late.
The fact that his own Second was questioning his decisions had made him decidedly irritable. Asta had his back, he knew that. No matter what she brought up between them, she would support him publicly. He wasn't concerned about a revolt.
He was concerned that she had her nose to the winds of the people better than he did. How had he missed the way the camp had begun to stray from simple discipline? He growled. He'd missed it because he'd closed his eyes to anything but his own purpose—task, he reminded himself. His task. He'd become obsessed with looking for angles and plans to take the cat out at the knees. And he'd lost sight of his own people.
Unacceptable.
He looked forward to relaying it all to Suhle that evening. She'd been right about how much easier his days, and especially his nights, had become since he'd begun telling her the events of his day, the frustrations and little defeats, as well as the victories. She rarely even responded and only once had offered advice. She generally just massaged his head and listened. And he… released it to her.
When he'd asked her once why she let him whine to her like a child, she'd gotten quite a fierce look on her face.
"Rulers who carry the people do not whine—they think out loud," she said firmly. "They need a place that is safe to release their concerns, and voice their worries. Because when they do, often they can see them more clearly. That is all."
"When have you served a ruler before?" he'd asked curiously.
"I was in the sphere of your father, though I did not serve him directly," she said quietly. Lerrin realized that was how he'd heard her name. "And I served your sister for that short period… but other than my service has been to people of means," she admitted. "But I find that Anima nature is Anima nature. Whether your kingdom be a merchant's wares, a family, or the revolution."
"You're very wise, Suhle," he'd murmured, then groaned as she hit just the right spot on his neck.
"And you are very brave, Lerrin. We all have our strengths."
He chuckled at the memory, at the remembered pink in her cheeks when he'd turned his eyes up to thank her again and she'd waved him away.
The Creator had brought him Suhle to keep him sane in these insane days, there was no doubt in his mind. And he was grateful.
He was not going to give her up now.
But Asta's words had rubbed his fur the wrong way. He wondered if he should ask Suhle to do more things for others and less for himself, so the help he received was not such a stark contrast?
Then he remembered what she'd said that first day that had haunted him ever since…
"…All of us have experiences we would rather forget, have we not?"' she'd asked simply. "Will you allow me to serve, Sire? I can make your life easier, and you can make mine more peaceful. A… joint endeavor, if you will accept me and claim my service as your own…"
She'd never actually answered his question about whether she'd been abused, or misused. And that in itself was an answer.
That and the thread of fear that always lined her scent when unknown males came near.
The question was, had her mistreatment occurred under the Cat's rule, or his own?
He was determined to find out—and to punish the abuser.
But before he could do that he had to meet with the Security Council, and get an update on the bears. They needed to make a final decision about what to do with the portal region. They still held it, though the others thought he'd merely decided to do so to frustrate Reth and show their strength.
He'd held to the secrecy vow around the portal—in part because he still had dreams of walking through himself and slaughtering the false Queen, dragging her body back and dumping it outside the Tree City, then listening for Reth's roar. But mainly because… he'd made a vow. He was only to share that secret in the most dire need, and so far… so far that particular dream had not been the most pressing.
But he also hadn't given up on it.
As he stalked up to the tent flap and threw it back, he knew he was about to face the real battle, right here: Convincing his men to hold their bloodlust until—
He'd been deep in thought, but forced himself to smile and greet the members who had beaten him to the tent and taken seats in the circle Suhle had prepared ahead.
Lerrin looked at her as she offered raisin cakes to the males from a wicker plate, head bowed. Her shoulders were tense with all the males nearby. But she moved smoothly and slowly between them, filling cups of tea and bringing paper for notes.
He was grateful. She thought of everything. And it meant when she was around, he could forget the details and focus on the decisions. He breathed easier—except when she didn't. When she clearly felt nervous.
He would get to the bottom of this, he vowed.
"Thank you for waiting for me, sorry I'm late," he said to the males around the circle. Most of them smiled and nodded.
There was a small pillow on the seat that had been left for him. Another of Suhle's small touches. He needed to speak to her about not drawing attention to him with her attention when others were near, not if the females were beginning to talk. Though he supposed when she worked so closely with him in private, it was no wonder they would have thoughts.
It didn't help that the woman's council was pressing him to find a mate. As if he had time to even look, let alone build a relationship? He had almost laughed in their faces when they'd come to him…
But that was unimportant now. Now he had to face the males. Now he had to determine how they would bring threat to the Cat over the coming days.
Now he had to be King.
Later, he promised himself. He would give further thought to Suhle later.
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