Chapter 280: Hold On
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GAHRYE – Human World
The click of a door opening sounded like a boulder falling down a mountainside to his ears and he leapt up, whirling, expecting to find the door where Elia had disappeared, opening—praying it was Elia, not some trick of her beast. But instead, the door from the hallway opened slowly, and a second later, Kalle poked her head in, eyes wide and forehead puckered with concern. "Are you guys okay?" she whispered. "Can I do anything?"
Gahrye heaved a sigh of relief and slumped back against the wall, but stayed on his feet. His heart was beating wildly. To hide the trembling of his hands, he shoved them in his pockets and shook his head. "No, we're… we're just… there's just some… problems," he said softly, without looking at her.
Kalle stepped inside the door, but didn't approach, hesitating. "Did you want to be alone?" she asked carefully.
"Honestly… no," he said and huffed a sheepish, humorless laugh. "Right now I feel like I'm going out of my mind."
"Oh, dear." Kalle's brows pinched together. She leaned back out the door, looking both ways in the hallway, then closed it and came to join him. "What happened? Who roared?"
Gahrye shook his head. "That was Elia," he said.
"I thought she was—"
Kalle was just passing the closed and locked door to the bedroom where Elia was hiding when Gahrye was interrupted by an almighty thud on the door. The solid wood door rattled like a bamboo curtain with the impact of a massive body hitting it.
Kalle gasped and flinched, but Gahrye had already flowed over to put himself between her and the door. It was instinct to protect her, holding her behind him as he turned, bracing for Elia's beast to burst through and attack.
But the door rattled once, then held. Gahrye's chest heaved. When Kalle started to ask, he raised one hand and shook his head.
They both froze, hearts pumping—Gahrye could hear her pulse, her heart hammering from the shock. Her hands on his back felt like honey on his skin, but he didn't think she even knew she was touching him.
They waited, not breathing, but moment later there was only a puttering growl on the other side of the door, then nothing.
They both relaxed a hair.
When Kalle dropped her hands from him, he straightened and turned to face her.
"I think we need to leave her so she can be in the quiet and… breathe," he whispered a few seconds later when nothing else happened. When she nodded, they both turned and he put an arm at her back, urging her towards the door, watching Elia's door over his shoulder as they snuck out.
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KALLE
She was trembling—with both fear and thrill. The Anima were here. Things were happening that she didn't understand. All she knew was, that hadn't sounded like a human being on the other side of that door—but she'd studied them enough to understand that their beasts could be erratic. If Elia was in there, she must have snuck a third Anima into the house that no one knew about.
She agreed that they needed to let whoever was behind that door have some quiet. So, when he suggested it, she nodded and let him lead her from the room. But she would ask him as soon as they could do so without disturbing whoever was in there.
When they got back into the hallway and Gahrye stopped, raking his hands through his hair, his face pale and drawn, she put a hand to his chest. She realized he was truly stressed and her heart went out to him. Everything must be so new and difficult here.
"Hey, hey, it's okay," she whispered brightly. "You did the right thing. They'll calm down and… come back. I'm sure of it. We've had these problems before."
"No, you don't understand," he said, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes.
"I do, I think," she whispered, looking around to make sure no one else could hear. "You have a… friend here? Someone you're hiding? It's okay. I won't tell."
Gahrye sighed and shook his head. "No, that's not it at all."
Kalle blinked. He was so large, and so strong, but in this moment he looked… frail. Her heart went out to him. "Hey, hey. It can't be that bad. We're here to help. Just… tell me what's going on. Whatever it is, I'll help you as much as I can."
She wasn't sure why she felt so drawn to him, so certain that he was trustworthy. All she knew was, watching him be in pain was hurting her. She didn't just want to help. She needed to.
Gahrye dropped his hands and met her eyes, his own were red and strained. Something in his gaze made her stomach clench and she fisted his shirt without thinking. But when she realized, and started to release it, to take her hand back, he pressed one of his hands over hers, to keep it there.
Her heart sped up again.
"That wasn't another Anima," he whispered, his eyes burning with intensity. "That was Elia. She's… something's happened to her. It has to be the pregnancy. The baby must be Anima and it's… changing her. She… Kalle, she shifted."
Kalle's mouth dropped open and her head spun. "No… that's impossible."
"Apparently not!" he snapped, but he didn't let go of her hand. "I watched her fight it—it's why I brought her back here. She's been erratic and emotional and I thought it was just the stress and the pregnancy, but… something happened. She lost control. And now—"
He broke off, swallowing hard, and Kalle was confused. The look on his face wasn't fear, it was… grief?
"Are you worried about her?"
"Of course I'm worried about her!"
"No, of course, I mean… you seem sad. I was just… is there a reason you're worried this will… hurt her? I mean, Anima shift all the time right?"
Gahrye turned away, staring down the empty hallways, his strong jaw twitching and flexing.
He still hadn't let go of her hand. Kalle swallowed.
"Some do," he said warily. "I'm worried because… I can't help her with this," he said finally, through his teeth. "I was sent here with her because I was supposed to help. I was supposed to be the one who was best equipped to help her," he said with a humorless laugh that made her frown. "But I can't help her with this and… I'm terrified this is all going to go wrong and I'm going to fail to get her back safely."
"You're… your not one of the pride, then?" she asked carefully. She'd been told not to make assumptions about the Anima's tribes. According to Shaw, if you got it wrong, they could be quite prickly about it.
Gahrye snorted. "No. I'm equine," he said dryly. "But…" His shoulders rose and fell once, then he fixed his eyes on hers and said, as if he had to push the words out, "I've never shifted. I can't."
Kalle blinked. "You're disformed?"
His jaw tightened and he nodded.
"Omigosh, I have so many questions for you!" she whispered, trying not to smile with joy—she'd yearned to talk to one of the disformed ever since she discovered they existed. "Can we—I mean, not now obviously, but can I interview you for the histories? We haven't had a disformed here before that I'm aware of and—omigosh, I know this is tough time Gahrye, but I'm so glad you came because—"
"Kalle, are you hearing me? I'm disformed."
"Yes!" she said. "I've been waiting to meet you!"
He blinked and his mouth dropped open like she'd just given him an unexpected gift. Then he swallowed and looked away from her for a moment, before shaking his head. "I have to… I have to focus. Kalle, I've never shifted. I don't know how. So I can't give Elia advice on how to control this, on how to change back because… I've never done it. I've only heard the advice they give each other when they're training the younger ones, but… it's not the same. I don't know what it feels like. I don't know how it works. And if she can't figure it out… she might lose herself to the beast."
Kalle sucked in a breath. "What do you mean?"
Gahrye leaned in, holding her gaze. "I don't think you realize: The whole reason the Anima put so much training into teaching the young how to control their beasts, the whole reason we have wise-women who can give medicine to help them stop shifting if they're struggling, is because the longer an Anima stays in beast form, the harder it is for them to come back. I mean, I don't know the specifics, obviously," he said through his teeth, frustrated. "But… Especially when Anima don't have a lot of practice. Sometimes people have… I mean, if they're really grieving or… I don't understand it, because I've never done it!" he snarled bitterly, "All I know is that there are legends of people who gave over to the beast and never came back. They got… trapped, in that form. It was as if they'd never existed. They became Silent Ones."
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