Chapter 205: No. Just, No.
ELIA
Wide-eyed and overwhelmed by his gentle but insistent loving, Elia held Reth's face as he rocked into her again, and again, his eyes—pained, yet glowing with love—never leaving hers.
No more words passed between them, only the sheer emotion lighting his gaze that she prayed he was able to see reflected in hers. Only to pant of her breath as he pushed her, faster, faster, to her limit. Only the wail she gave when he finally thrust and everything inside her broke open, exploding for him, towards him.
Only her cry as she clung to him through his shuddering groan when he followed her over the edge, gripping him so tightly to her, she wasn't sure where her skin ended and his began.
"Forever, Elia," he panted in her ear. "Forever."
They both did nothing but breathe for a long moment. When she finally moved, it was only to bring her head up so she could see him again. He blinked and seemed to wake up, though he'd never closed his eyes.
She stroked a hand down his cheek as he kissed her again. "Reth," she panted. "You move me every time, but... we have already vowed forever. We got through this. I know there's danger but... you're acting like we still face the firing squad. What's going on?"
He looked down at her, sweat sprinkled on his brow and his eyes yearning. Combing the hair off her face with his fingers, he took a deep breath.
"The danger, Elia, for you and our cub... it's only beginning. This is war."
She frowned, biting back tears. "I won't lose you, Reth. You don't have to fight. You have to... to stay safe so you can lead—"
"No, Elia, you don't understand. It's not me I'm worried about." He cupped her jaw, his eyes pools of grief and yearning. "This is war. Real war. The wolves will leave, but only to recoup and strategize. They will not leave us alone. They will not leave me alone. And you are my weakness. And they know it." He swallowed hard. "Love, I have to send you back to your world."
"That's not funny, Reth. Don't say stuff like that." She giggled nervously, very aware of the way she clenched around him when she laughed.
But his expression didn't change.
And he didn't smile.
An ice cube slid down her spine. "Reth, you can't be serious."
"I couldn't be more serious, Love," he said hoarsely.
They stared at each other for a long minute, Elia's mouth open as she tried to process what he'd just said. What he was suggesting.
He couldn't be suggesting—? Suddenly vulnerable in way she'd never felt before, she shoved at his chest. "Let me go."
"Elia—" he whispered.
"No—let me… get off me!"
Closing his eyes, he gently pulled away, separating them and helping her slide to the ground and find her feet.
For a second, feeling the lack of him was too much and she gasped, almost clung to him. But as he steadied her, making sure she had her balance before he let her go, she didn't miss the determined set of his jaw, or the tension in his shoulders.
But he didn't move away. He stood, right in front of her, staring at her, his face lined with grief—letting her see the pain he felt. Which felt desperately unfair. She wasn't the one saying they should be apart!
She pushed at his chest, but he didn't even rock backwards. And her hand wanted to stay on him, so she yanked it back to herself, cradling it with the other hand. "No."
"Elia—"
"No, Reth. We just… we just fought to be together," she said desperately, pleading with him. "We just… I did everything you asked! Everything they needed! I even—"
"You were about to accept a fight from Lucine!" he snarled. "Do not try to tell me that you cannot see that needs call us to things we do not wish!"
"That was different! Everyone wanted it—needed it. Gahrye told me—"
"Do not speak another male's name in this room," he growled, then dropped his face into his hands and sucked in. "I do not… I will not fight with you, Elia. But the only thing I desire less than to be apart from you, is to see you and our cub dead at the hands of the wolves. They are not… merciful. It would not be quick."
"You say that like it is the only other option. As if… as if it's either leave or be killed. You are strong, Reth—and so is Behryn. And the others. And I'm getting stronger. I mean, I'm no Lucine, of course," she spat, "But I don't believe that staying is certain death for me."
"Not only for you, but for many others if you are here, Love," he rasped. "There is a reason that when soldiers go to war they do not take their families and loved ones. It is impossible to fight a war on one front, and protect those of your heart on the other. In the end, one will always lose."
"No! Reth! I'm not leaving you! Not now! Not when we finally… finally won and… we're… Reth… we're having a baby!" her voice was high and strangled.
With a tortured huff he pulled her into his chest, wrapping his arms around her, and she clung shamelessly to his firm waist, her fingers clawing mercilessly into his back as he whispered into her hair.
"That is why we must do this, Love," he breathed. "That little life… so fragile. I cannot lose both of you. And I cannot protect you and gather my people and lead them against the enemy… Anima will already die in what's to come. If I am torn between leading an army and watching for you… Elia… you are the weakest part of me. You and Elreth. They know that. And they will not stop trying to reach you. They are relentless—"
"Then why are you just letting them all walk around right now and take what they want and just leave? Why aren't you killing them so they can't force you to fight?"
Reth blinked at her and his lips twitched toward a smile. "Spoken like a true Predator," he said, love in his eyes. Elia blinked. But Reth's smile faded immediately. "I think you know… we cannot slaughter an entire people because there are some among them that would harm us. We have to hold those accountable who would harm us, and leave the rest in peace. I still hope for unity in the Anima eventually. We have open lines of communication with the highland Bears—and the lowland Boars no longer raid… I still dream for a day when all of us live in unity. But it is impossible to know right now which of the wolves and their allies are enemies, and which merely… want something different. Trust me, Elia, the Security Council has had this debate countless times. My conviction remains true: The Creator allows those who deny Him to live. The sun shines over them just as it does me, the rain falls on me, just as it does on them. He only unleashes wrath on those who work to harm those who are His.
"I will not kill my people for thinking differently than I do. But I will kill any that threaten us. The time for caution is passed." He held her shocked gaze and stroked her cheek. "And so… I must protect you while you and our little one are so vulnerable. Just as my parents protected me when their time came." He cupped her face. "And look how that turned out."
Her mouth dropped open. "Is that what this is about? You think I'm going to go back and our baby will meet their mate, or something? What about me, Reth? What about my need for my mate?"
Reth blinked like she'd flicked water in his eyes. "You believe I would leave you there? You think my need for you is not as great—greater? Elia, when you go it will tear my guts from me. Every minute we are apart, that I cannot touch you… No! I will come for you. Elia, you will go back to your home to be safe. But only for a time. The moment—the first moment I know it is safe for you, I will come for you both. I will not leave you there. And you will not go alone."
"You've already planned this?"
"I've discussed the possibility with Behryn but—"
"No! Reth! No! I'm not going back! I'm not leaving you! Not by choice!"
"Elia, please…" He gazed at her, his eyes tight with pain and fear.
A sob caught in her throat. "Don't look at me like that when you're the one who's saying—"
"Elia, I love you," he whispered.
"I know! That's not what—"
"Please, my beautiful girl, please… let me protect you."
"But—!"
A knock at the door made Reth curse, and Elia startle.
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