Chapter 193: Dream the Dream
ELIA
He took a deep breath and a hair of the tension left him at her words. But Elia's mind was spinning.
She could go back.
But she didn't want to. Not without Reth.
Actually, she didn't want to even with Reth, but without him… Life loomed before her, empty, hollow, cavernous and her breath caught. She swallowed the pinch in her throat and tried to make her voice light. "I'm saying the word, Reth. I need you to touch me. Right now."
Reth gave her a look, but reached for her hand and she gave it. They both stared at their linked fingers.
"I think knowing I can return to Anima would help. Maybe?" she said, her voice too high.
They were both quiet.
He sighed heavily.
Then her brows pinched. "I… How do you know the baby is a her?" she asked quietly.
"I don't know. I can just… feel it."
"Does it bother you that it's not a boy?"
His eyes snapped up to hers. "Bother me? You think I would be… disappointed?"
"I know a lot of males want males. And especially if there's some kind of royal line, or whatever. That whole carrying on the line, thing…"
"Elia," he stared at her, wide-eyed. "Why would it make me sad to know the Creator has made another you?" he asked, his voice so broken, she almost cried all over again. "Why would I want anything but that?"
He was so precious, she could only throw herself into his chest again, and as they clung, as she inhaled the smell of his skin and reminded herself of his iron strength, as he clung to her, his lips in her hair, and his hands at her back, stroking and holding her close, she was moved, again, and again.
How could she possibly face a life without him? What kind of life would it be?"
"I don't want to do this without you," she cried into his shoulder.
"I am utterly focused on not allowing that to happen," he rumbled. "But, as you said, just in case. You have to know what's going to be expected—and how to measure… everything. I pray this conversation will be for naught, Elia. That tonight we will sleep in each other's arms and thank the Creator for His mercy. And… not have to face any of this. But for now… now we have to prepare. Just in case. Because it's almost time to go."
She pulled back, then followed his gaze over her shoulder and out over the canopy of Wildwood where the sun was beginning to dip towards the horizon. "No," she breathed.
"Yes," he said. "We can't delay much longer."
She turned away from the blazing ball in the sky that was counting down her doom, and buried her face in his neck. "I don't want to talk about it anymore. I just want to be here with you, for whatever time we've got."
He sighed as heavily as she'd ever heard. "Me too," he whispered and pulled her close.
****
RETH
"It's time," he said, his voice gravel.
Elia's arms tightened around him and he sighed again. In truth, it was past time. They'd already missed the meal. He prayed that Brant hadn't called the alarm and sent the elders looking for them. Sliding his hand up into her hair, he squeezed her, unwilling to let go, but knowing that it must happen.
"I don't want to go," she whispered.
"I don't either. But… I am glad we had this time. Just in case."
"Tell me, quickly, please, Reth."
"Tell you what?"
"Tell me how it will be. How we're going to win this. And… and still be together. And happy."
And so he did. He pulled her into his lap and with her ear against his chest, he painted the picture.
*****
ELIA
She was curled in his lap like a child, but she didn't care. With her ear against his chest, every word he spoke was a deep, strong rumble, echoing between his ribs, that soothed her fear and fueled her love for him.
"We will face the people, and they will see our love, and see your strength, and remember how I have loved them," he said quietly, his fingers combing through her hair. "They will embrace you—as Queen, and as Leonine—and the females will help you through your pregnancy, teaching you our ways. You will be honored as a mother, Elia," his voice dropped to a rasp barely above a whisper on those words and she squeezed him.
"Our love will only grow," he said a moment later. "We will be forced to extend the cave somehow, because we will have another cub, maybe three. And as our children grow, we will become old and slow, and fat."
She could hear the smile in his voice. "Speak for yourself," she muttered.
He chuckled, and it was the most beautiful sound she'd ever heard.
Then he pulled her chin up until she sat straight and looked right in his eyes. Then he continued. "One day, all of this fear will be gone. You will be a true Anima. Our children will grow and become Heirs, and have children of their own.
"But we will always remember this moment, Elia. Despite our happiness and peace, we will remember the moment we stepped so close to losing each other. And it will get us through anything. Because nothing else that happens could possibly hurt that much. We will fight to make sure of it.
"And then one day, a long, long time from now, when our children have their own prides, and we have become little more than a burden to them, we will die. Happy. And together."
Elia's sight blurred. "Promise me, Reth."
He pulled her in and kissed her, his face lined with grief. "I promise you that I will fight to my last breath to make it happen," he whispered against her lips.
They held each other for another moment… Then she put her hands to his shoulders and pushed herself to her feet, wiping her tears and breathing deeply to push past them.
Reth got to his feet too, and they stared at each other a moment. Then she nodded and he touched her face before stepping past her to shift into his Beast.
Even his lion eyes looked sad. He made the mating call then, but with a strange, echoing resonance at the end, as if he pressed it into the air around them.
She took his muzzle in her hands and kissed his nose and he huffed, shaking his mane. Then she crawled onto his back and buried her hands—and her face—in his mane, gripping tightly as he ran, her stomach heavy with dread.
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