Chapter 185: Never Alone
RETH
Seconds later, his body returned to some kind of sanity. He had her in his arms, hear head back against his shoulder, and she'd put her hands over his, twining their fingers under her breast and over her stomach.
"Oh… Reth…" she sighed, her voice shaky.
"Are you okay?" he gasped. "That was—"
"That was beautiful," she said breathlessly. "I can't… I would do it again if…"
He growled and turned his head to drop a kiss on her throat. "I love you, Elia. That word does not describe the feelings I have for you. I can't… There isn't…"
"I know," she whispered, "Me too," and her voice cracked.
She brought one hand up to cover her mouth and her shoulders shook once.
Reth whined in his throat and shushed her. But she began to quiver and shake for all the wrong reasons.
Crooning to her, stroking her for comfort rather than desire, he soon had her turned around so he could hold her as she sobbed into his shoulder, her arms clutching at his neck, her legs around his waist.
"Shhhhh, my love, I'm here. They won't ever take me away. I won't let them. I'm here."
But she cried on, her clinging to him so desperately, her fingers clawed his skin. And as her tears fell on his shoulder and slid down his chest, Reth had to fight his own.
The fear, the loss, it all seemed so very… present.
They stayed that way a long while, until finally her shaking turned to hiccups, then to deeper, longer breaths. Until her tears finally stopped, and his own were held at bay.
But still he could not find it in himself to let her go.
And she seemed in no hurry to release him, either.
"What are we going to do?" she whispered into his ear, eventually. Turning her head on his shoulder so that her lips were next to his ear, but not moving away.
"We will plead our case to the people. And pray."
"But…" she hesitated, clinging tighter. "How likely are they to choose me after all this? Honestly, Reth?"
"We have no choice, Elia," he said starkly. "No choice that allows us to keep our life, our home."
She took a deep breath, fighting of a new round of tears, he thought. But she did it.
Then she finally pushed back, out of his arms and, with her hands on his shoulders, faced him. Her eyes were red and puffy, and her nose clogged, but she stared at him with such love in her eyes that it almost broke him open. He put a hand to her face and said her name and she swallowed hard.
"I don't deserve you," he whispered. She frowned and opened her mouth, but he rushed on. "This whole situation is of my making. Brant was right today. I knew. I knew I shouldn't have allowed the Smoke and Flames. I should have called for the people then, explained what had occurred. But I was so terrified that they would kill you… so certain it would never come to this, I let myself just ignore the risk. I'm sorry. You didn't know. This was on me."
He looked down then, ashamed of himself. But she put her hands to his face and pulled him back up to meet her gaze.
"Explain to me why, if the Anima are so free to mate with anyone, it is… what did Brant call it? A breach of vows? Just because you talked about being together later? What do they think you did that night… Reth?"
"They think—they know—that when the decision was made between us, I had chosen her as Queen—by taking her that night, with the Rite in mind… I had chosen her. Then I went back on that choice. Brant is saying I broke the Rite by choosing a Queen before it, and still going through with it. Which isn't the way I thought of it at the time, but he's right."
"But… wasn't that what she agreed to? Wasn't that what both of you said you were doing? What about her vows? What about her in the Rite? Wasn't she wrong when she didn't win the Rite—when she didn't kill me? How did it come to this, to you being the only one who's wrong?"
But he didn't respond, because her words triggered the tiniest spark of hope for him and he was thinking frantically.
"Reth? What—"
"Just a minute, I'm trying to remember…"
She waited, frowning as Reth searched his mind. "You may have hit on something there, my love," he said quietly. "I'm… not sure."
"What?"
He swallowed and met her eyes again, stroking her hair back off her concerned face. "The way the law of the Rite is written, it was already broken when Lucine gave me the signals and I accepted and we… mated." He growled the word for its nothingness next to what he'd just done with Elia. Next to what they had. "But I don't know if I can bring accusations against her to force her to answer…"
"What would you accuse her of?"
"Not accuse… I just mean, you might be right. She wasn't part of the testimony to the elders so they didn't… it wasn't considered that if there was to be an agreement, she hadn't fulfilled it either… Oh, Creator's Light, I hope that might save us," he gasped.
Elia pulled him in and they held each other again. "What if it doesn't? What if we can't stop this whole thing, and the people choose her. What happens to me?"
Reth sighed heavily and squeezed her tighter. "By law you become what Lucine is now—shunned. Needing to find your place within the tribe again. You would be provided for, but not embraced. You would no longer be Queen."
"My Cohorts?"
"They cannot exist without a Queen."
She frowned deeper. "And you?"
"I am King by right. That is not under threat. I will be Censured and have to win the people back—or be challenged by someone to lose dominance. I cannot not lose my place without that."
"Are you kidding me?" Elia's head jerked back. "Are you fucking serious right now?" She pushed back and scrambled off his lap.
Reth blinked at his suddenly empty arms. "What—where are you going?"
She got to her feet and began to pace. "Are you telling me that, even though you're the one who's considered to have broken this vow, or whatever, and not made Lucine Queen when she should have been, I'm the one they'll reject?"
She stopped and faced him, demanding an answer.
"I am sorry, my love. But yes they will reject you—because you will be seen to have stepped into a position that did not belong to you. It was my choice… my mistake… my regret. And I will be punished for it. But just as Lucine had no control over what occurred to her, and was forced to the fringes of the tribe, neither would you."
Before she could argue, he rushed on. "But that's only half the picture. To defend these accusations, to give the people the best chance of choosing you, I have to tell them everything. I have to tell them of my feelings for you, that we knew each other, and that I chose you, knowing who you were and what you were to me. If they decide that those facts breach the law of the People, they may accuse me of treason."
She folded her arms. "What happens then?"
He took a breath. "They'll kill me."
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