Chapter 142: Collateral Damage
ELIA
"Reth… I'm sorry. I never—"
"You never thought," he growled, pacing the floor in front of her. "You never considered the impact on others if your plans were overtaken by someone with ill-intent. You never considered that you are valuable and as such, you must be protected! You were just blindly running off to do whatever you pleased—"
"Now, wait just a second!"
He whirled to face her. "I will not wait. You have made your choices, Elia, and you lay me bare, so you will listen!"
"Lay you bare?"
"You reveal my weakness, you make me weak! You force me to admit… to admit my treason!"
Her face pinched and she took a step toward him. "Reth, what are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about the fact that you are the single most important person in my life and you won't even help me keep you safe so my betrayal of my people will never be discovered!"
"Betrayal? Reth, I've never seen you betray your people for a moment—"
"Because you haven't seen what lengths I would go to for you," he snarled. He stalked back to her until they were toe to toe, and he loomed over her again. "It makes me sick to my stomach—physically ill—to think about what might have happened these past two months. How easily this entire Kingdom could have been stripped from me. How easily your life could have been stripped from you!" he growled and turned away again, the burn in his chest so deep he worried he might actually explode.
She reached for his arm and he yanked it out of her grip. She gasped. He'd never once stopped her from touching him--even when he was hurt.? He loved it when she touched him. It was a shock to have him turn on her, his face hard and unwavering. He didn't soften his tone, or touch her back. He held his dark frown, and spoke through his teeth. "Let me show you the nightmare that has been echoing in my head since the moment I saw you there behind that boulder, Elia," he said too quietly.
She knew she didn't want to hear this, but also knew she had to listen. She nodded.
He had his hands clenched to fists at his sides and searched her eyes as he spoke. "I see a moment when I come back to dinner one evening and you aren't there. And no one knows where you are. Maybe Gahrye's gone too, so we think you're together and at first there's no panic. Then we find your guards, still guarding his home, but no one inside.
"Meanwhile, you've been taken. And while I am frantic, unable to think of anything else—unable to breathe!—you're being… you're being hurt. And held. Gahrye is probably dead."
His eyes glowed. "And then I get a message, passed to me in a way that no one knows. It tells me where to go, and what I'll find. And warns me that if I bring anyone else, or anyone else even knows, that they'll kill you. And so, I breach every security protocol and strategy of war, and I go without warning anyone. Not even Behryn. And when I find the people who have you, there's too many. I can't take them all at once. So I have a choice—I can do as they ask, provide what they want, and possibly save your life. I can betray every citizen of the Tree City, every living Anima who recognizes me as King—and save your life. Or I can watch you die."
He swallowed audibly. "I'd do it, Elia. I would betray all of them for you. And I'd never be able to live with myself. But you know what? I couldn't live with myself if I didn't either. I can't live in a world that doesn't have your light in it. So tell me… what am I supposed to do?"
"You shouldn't betray them," she whispered. "If that ever happened… don't give in."
He leaned in, right down, so they were nose to nose. "I would rather die myself than see you harmed. And if that harm came because of my decision?" The light in his eyes flared and Elia sucked in as he blinked, and his eyes were golden, then blinked again and they returned to their normal warm brown. "Don't make me make that decision, Elia. Ever. Please. You say you love your people? Don't ever let them learn just how cheaply they would be sold."
She put her hands to his face, tears in her eyes, her thumbs bracketing his mouth. "I love you, Reth," she said.
"And I love you. Now, promise me you'll never put me in that position. Promise me you'll never escape your guard, or disobey an order for your safety. Promise me!"
She stretched up on her toes and kissed his mouth, tears trailing down her cheeks. He sucked in and tilted his head, one of his arms sliding around her back to pull her in as their tongues tangled. She continued to stroke his face, whispering how much she loved him.
Then he closed his eyes and broke the kiss, dropping his forehead to hers. "Promise me, Elia," he said.
"I can't," she whispered.
"Elia—"
"Reth, I am a person. A whole person. I cannot be some breakable possession, forever wrapped in cotton and petted like a child. I must be a woman. I must be an Anima. There is no one else in this city who has this constant… hovering."
"Because no one is as easily wounded as you—or as physically weak." When she sucked in, he raised a finger, "I said, physically. Elia. You know I know you are not weak in heart or mind."
She shook her head. "Please, Reth… there has to be another way."
He pulled out of her hands and stepped back, his eyes blazing. "There is no other way. Promise me, Elia. Promise me you will not take the risk of revealing my weakness to the entire Kingdom!"
She dropped her face into her hands. "I can't!"
With a snarl, he was gone, tearing to the front door to throw the bar to the side and yank it open, storming into the night and slamming it closed behind him.
*****
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