Chapter 105: Something She Didn't Know
RETH
She laughed at his joke, but neither of them stopped the kissing. By the time he had her pressed down on the furs and was working on the buttons of her blouse, his breath was coming quickly.
He opened her top button, then kissed the skin that was revealed. Opened the next, and laid the flat of his tongue between her breasts with a deep groan.
She had her hands in his hair, gripping him, and her chin back, her neck exposed and so tempting—but he was also about to reach her navel and dip his tongue in that sweet little dip—
"Stop, stop, Reth," she said suddenly, breathlessly.
He stopped immediately and raised his head. Had he hurt her?
She still had her hands in his hair, but she'd raised her head to meet his eyes and she looked… frustrated? Did she want something else. "What's wrong?"
"I can't do this right now!" she whined and closed her eyes, letting her head drop back. "I have to go find the others and start figuring out what to do to connect with people."
"You can wait an hour," he said.
She raised an eyebrow. "A whole hour, huh?" She grinned.
Reth growled and buried his face in her stomach. She laughed and curled up like it tickled, struggling, pushing him away. He was forced to grip her wrists and pull her hands over her head so he leaned over her, her blouse falling open until the insides of her breasts were bared, but the fabric denied him the full view. He growled again.
"Reth?" she said softly.
"Yes, my love?"
"I want this. I want you. But… if I don't get out there and start doing something, I'm going to lose my nerve and… I don't want to keep going the way that I am."
"Like I said, you can wait an hour," he joked, nuzzling her neck.
But she didn't laugh this time. "No, I can't. Really, Reth, stop!" She struggled and he let go of her wrists immediately, bracing himself on the furs on either side of her head.
Her hair splayed out like a glow around her face, but her jaw was hard and her brows pinched.
"Love, I was playing. I would never hold you here against your will."
"I know. I know you mean well, but… seducing me isn't making me stronger in anyone else's eyes."
He thought about that for a moment. "What about if you seduced me?"
"Reth!" she groaned. "Please. This isn't helping."
"But—"
"Seriously, I need to get out of this cave, and I need to find my helpers and I need to figure something out! Unless you want me weak? Is that it? Does it do something for you, Reth, that I'm so breakable here? Make you feel like the hero? Is that why you chose me? Because it makes Reth feel good about Reth?"
"What? No!"
"Then what was it, Reth? What possessed you to bring me into this when you knew how different I was, and how they would see that?"
A spark of anger burned in his chest. Did she really think he'd done this selfishly? Or intended to keep her weak?
He crawled off of her, rolling to the side to sit up on the edge of the platform again. "I chose you, Elia, because I'd always wanted to choose you. So, yes, there was that bit of selfishness to it. But I meant what I said. If I hadn't been certain that you were what Anima needed I would have given up my own desires and picked a different mate for the good of the people."
"If you always wanted me here, why didn't you bring me here yourself? They told me, you know, that the Rite only happened because you refused to choose a mate. That you could have married in any of those ten years and no one would have been concerned. So, why didn't you?"
"Because I wanted you."
"Then why didn't you come get me?" Her gaze sparked and Reth's anger, and his doubt both surged. She didn't have a clue. "Why not go get me yourself? Train me yourself? Prepare me for this? Why leave me alone for thirteen years when I thought I'd never see you again and—"
"I tried to," he murmured
"—if you always thought of me why not… wait, what?" she froze, gaping at him.
Reth held her eyes for a moment, then started. "I tried. I did."
"You tried what?"
"I tried to bring you here. I went to find you, to bring you here. Or at least, to see if you still thought of me the way I thought of you."
"When?!"
"Just before I turned eighteen."
She blinked, stunned.
"I know," he said, "it's so strange. I didn't love you like this when I was ten. I didn't think of you that way. But the longer I grew and strengthened the more my thoughts would turn back to you, it… tormented me."
"You came to find me?" she gasped. "In… on my world?"
He nodded.
"But I never saw you. I know I wouldn't have recognized you from before, but I know if I'd seen you like… like this, I would have remembered!"
"No, you're right. You didn't see me. But I saw you."
"What?!"
Reth turned to face her and, for once, he couldn't read her expression. She was shocked, no doubt. But other things flitted across her face—and her scent—a mix of anger, fear, and confusion. He couldn't tell which she was feeling the most, perhaps because she couldn't.
"You're telling me… you're saying you came back to find me because you were thinking about me. About us. And you didn't talk to me?" she said, her voice high and sharp.
He nodded. "You were… I thought you were already settling. With someone else. And your parents, they were still there… you didn't seem to need me. You were happy."
She stared and Reth waited.
"Reth?"
"Yes, love?"
"What on God's green earth are you TALKING ABOUT?"
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