Chapter 33: Terrible Misconception
Even if we found the woman who runs away from boobs, I was not going to strike her immediately.
We needed to make preparations just in case my climax exorcism failed. We first had to evacuate all the students of Shinonome High School then continue to watch the situation carefully until the urgently organized team of exorcists arrived.
Karasuma would then hide in a safe place where she wouldn’t be intimidated by the woman who runs away from boobs and would be able to activate her technique… and so forth. I was going to strike only after everything was ready.
After briefly explaining the situation to the anxious teachers, we walked around peeking at the classrooms that were currently in session.
However, a significant amount of time passed and we still couldn’t find a small-chested girl that seemed like "her". So after about five classes, Soya finally took it out.
"Soya, are you really going to drink that?"
I trembled as Soya unsealed the vial in front of me.
It had a strange odor that brought tears to my eyes just with a small sniff. It looked like chemical sludge. No matter how you looked at it, this was poison, wasn’t it?
She’d said before that this was a wonder drug that could restore a person’s spirit power but had the side effect of making their mind spin. However, from the looks of it, I was afraid that this was going to ruin the drinker’s stomach before their mind ever got affected.
"I, I’ve resolved myself!"
Soya placed one hand on her hips and used the other to pinch her nose.
"If we don’t find the woman who runs away from boobs and exorcise her before nightfall, casualties are definitely going to appear!"
She declared that as if she were trying to convince herself and then gulped down the recovery potion in one go.
"……"
"H, hey, how is it?"
Ten seconds had passed since she swallowed it all in one gulp. I shook Soya’s shoulders worriedly since she still hadn’t moved a muscle.
"…hi-ku"
Soya hiccupped with an astounded look on her face.
"Ah–, Furuya-kyun, Aoi-chyan… mhmmm, I think my spirit power is recovery nicely–!"
Her face was flushed and she was lisping. Her gait was also becoming unsteady… rather than saying that her mind was spinning, wasn’t this just–
"You look like a drunk."
"I’m not drunk!"
Soya Karasuma’s kicked aside Karasuma’s remark and began heading towards the next class to peek at them with a dangerous gait.
"H, hey, Soya. Are you sure you’re okay? Didn’t you say that to conserve your spirit power, you were going to skip the girls with big breasts when you use your demon eyes? Do you still remember?"
Soya nodded while making a sound that I couldn’t tell was her reply or just her breathing heavily through her nose.
I wondered if she really understood what I had asked.
"All right! I’ve calculated it perfectly!"
Soya suddenly flung open the classroom door she had been peeking through and took a deep breath. Huh? Calculated what?
"The average for this class is around eight centimeters! The shortest one is–"
Soya smirked as she twirled both of her hands’ index fingers in front of her face.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaagh, are you a moroooooooooon!?"
I dragged Soya out of the classroom which had burst into murmurs and tried to take her as far away as possible.
"No matter how bad the side effects of that potion were, you must be a complete moron! What the hell were you looking at when you shouted out eight centimeters!?"
If the recovery potion was going to reduce her to this state then there was no point in using it!
Also, there were a few guys in the classroom who were aghast when the averages were suddenly announced, I wonder if there was going to be a man who runs away from long ones following the woman who runs away from boobs…?
"I was just joking around–! Oh, could it be that you’re smaller than the class average that you’re depressed, Furuya-kun–?"
Soya started to strain her eyes as she looked at me so I hurriedly blocked her vision.
"Aw, come on, why are you trying to hide it–? Let me see it–, let me see it Furuya-kun–. I won’t laugh at you–."
I continued to cover Soya’s eyes as she flailed and rampaged about.
Karasuma suddenly placed her hand on my shoulder and smiled at me as if she were truly enjoying the situation.
"Don’t worry about it, Furuya. It’s not the body that’s important, it’s the heart."
These two idiots…
It was an afternoon that helped me understand the feelings of the woman who runs away from boobs a bit more.
After threatening Soya that I would leave the team if she continued to screw around, I somehow managed to get her to properly resume her search for the woman who runs away from boobs.
"…why can’t we find her?"
All classes had ended at Shinonome High School and students were preparing to head home in groups.
I sat on a small staircase in the outdoor corridor leading to the gymnasium, not far from the last class Soya had checked using her demon eyes, hanging my head. Soya sat next to me, gazing at the sky with the eyes of a dead fish.
"Why did I… do that…?"
Soya was in despair over the perverted act she had committed. Although the effects of the potion had worn off, it seemed like she still clearly remembered herself loudly announcing the average length of a certain lower body part for that class.
"And worst of all… we still haven’t found the woman who runs away from boobs…"
Sure, Soya had been screwing around in the beginning when she looked at the penis sizes of the boys in that class. However, she used her demon eyes properly and diligently after that. Despite that, we never found a girl with breasts as flat as the ones Karasuma and I had witnessed… just to be sure, we even called over some senior upperclassmen from the School for Exorcists to use monster detection techniques on the girls, starting from those with the smallest breasts. However, no monster was detected. We had no idea what to do next.
"Furuya-kun, are you sure that the socks and loafers you saw were really the ones specified by Shinonome High School…?"
Soya murmured softly.
"I’m certain that there was no mistake… however, if I’m wrong then we’re going to be right back where we started…"
"Well, looks like even the perverted act I did was in vain, huh…? Fufufu–"
I sighed heavily.
"Ah, um, come on you two, don’t be so depressed."
Apparently, Soya and I looked so gloomy that even Karasuma had begun to worry about us.
Karasuma hesitated over what to do for a short period then eventually told us,
"Oh right, both of you, look at this!"
She took out a talisman from her pocket–one of the shape-shifting talismans I had received from Mei and given to Soya and Karasuma. Hmm? What was she planning to do–
"Hmmm, is this how it works?"
Boink!
The moment Karasuma poured some spirit power into the shape-shifting talisman.
A silly sound rang out throughout the area and some white smoke appeared. The smoke quickly cleared away to reveal a Karasuma with a pair of explosive breasts.
"Wha–…"
No, those could no longer be called explosive breasts.
Her breasts, which were over a meter in diameter, grew out of Karasuma’s chest and swayed wildly. No matter how you thought about it, the mass ratio between her breasts and the rest of her defied the laws of physics. There should have been no way her body could have supported those monstrosities. However, the girl herself seemed perfectly unconcerned as she smiled broadly down at her super boobs which swelled up together with her pantsuit.
"Wow! This is amazing! Just like I imagined them! Wahahahahahahaha!"
"Y, you idiot…! What are you doing! Didn’t I tell you that the talismans are valuable items!?"
"Even if you tell me that… since even the professional team with big-breasted Kadokura got wiped out, these talismans that allow you to shape-shift big boobs are no longer going to be of much use. With that being the case, it would be far more constructive to use one of them to get rid of this heavy atmosphere."
"…oh, is that how it is? Thank you for your concern."
Karasuma fondled the super boobs made of spirit-matter and illusions and said, "Wahahaha! Although they look amazing, they feel like cotton candy! Here, touch them, Miss Misaki! It’ll cheer you up!" She was frolicking around like a middle school boy.
Oh, for fuck’s sake. With a teammate like this, we wouldn’t be able to solve the case even if it were solvable.
"However, as a lover of women’s bodies, I have slightly complicated feelings about these talismans despite them being such wonderful items."
Karasuma said those words with a sad face as she smothered her boobs against the dead-fish-eyed Soya. Hey, stop that already. Soya, come on, you should also resist a little.
"Whether it’s these shape-shifting talismans or the silicone breast pad technology that’s everywhere these days, technology to disguise’s one’s true form has developed too far. After all, the female body is most beautiful in its natural state."
"Well, I suppose I’ll agree with you on that…"
However, it was precisely because some people couldn’t accept themselves as they were that they tried to disguise themselves. You couldn’t blame them for wanting to use things like bra inserts to make themselves look closer to their ideal–
"Wait a minute…?"
It was then. Something suddenly clicked.
Complexes, disguising yourself, pads, a woman who runs away from boobs who we still couldn’t find.
"Hey, Karasuma."
"Mm, what? What’s up with that scary look. You like my boobs? Hmph, I won’t let you touch them but I can give you a little shake if you want."
"It’s not that, you idiot."
I interrupted the idiot’s words as she swayed her body from side to side and asked,
"I’m a guy so I don’t know much about these things but… are modern breast pads really that advanced these days?"
"What’s up with you all of a sudden? Well, it’s true. Not only pad technology but all kinds of other technologies to make your breasts look bigger are also advancing all the time, so…"
Karasuma seemed to have also gotten it as she stared back at me. I nodded towards her.
That’s right.
We had been under a terrible misconception.
The precipice revealed by the woman who runs away boobs had been so shocking that we immediately assumed that the suspect must be a flat-chested girl.
However, we were wrong.
There was no way a girl so obsessed with her breasts that she ended up monstrified would have stayed in her normal form, flat-chested, as she lived her daily life.
After all, it was impossible to not try to hide something you had a complex about if it was possible using ever-advancing technology.
The heart is more important than the body, there’s nothing wrong with being flat-chested–cheap consolation like that had no meaning. Something that bothered you would continue to bother you. That was what it meant to have a complex.
Well, can you believe that? Even Karasuma’s stupid behavior could be useful sometimes.
"Soya! Do you still have any spirit power left!?"
"W, why are you shouting so loudly all of a sudden?"
I shook Soya’s shoulder to bring her back to her senses.
"I asked if you can still use your demon eyes’ spirit vision."
"The potion worked better than I expected so I still have some spirit power left to spare… what’s the matter?"
"Nothing’s the matter! We’re about to find out who the woman who runs away from boobs really is! I want you to use spirit vision on the students one more time before they leave the school. The small-breasted girls aren’t the suspicious ones, we need to look out for the ones with unnaturally–"
"Oh? Everyone from the spiritual disaster counseling room is here. What are you guys doing here?"
I had just been about to say "big boobs".
A familiar voice could be heard from the end of the corridor leading to the gymnasium, the side coming from the main school building.
My heart jumped and cold sweat broke out throughout my whole body.
Almost by reflex, I hid Karasuma behind my back and answered Nagumo Mutsumi.
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