Chapter 32: Desperate Times, Desperate Measures
It was the next morning.
"I can understand it if you say that the woman who runs away from boobs was scared away, but what do you mean they were completely wiped out…? The woman who runs away from boobs runs away from big ones, doesn’t she?"
Immediately after homeroom ended in class D at the Tokyo Metropolitan School for Exorcists.
Karasuma came up to my desk and asked me that question with a serious face but I could only reply with "How would I know…"
There had been an uproar everywhere in the school today since morning.
It was being widely reported in the news that the spiritual disaster warning in Shinonome had been upgraded to critical alarm status. All schools in the city were to shorten classes, cancel club activities, and make students go home in groups. Although it was true that the woman who runs away from boobs only appeared once it was evening, it seemed very typical of this country for the city to still refuse to cancel school.
It had been years since a professional team had been wiped out. At the Tokyo Metropolitan School for Exorcists, the classroom was abuzz with restlessness even before homeroom had even started. Not many people knew that we were working in Shinonome city so we didn’t receive any unnecessary scrutiny, but it was still depressing to repeatedly hear the words "Shinonome’s woman who runs away from boobs" and "veteran team wiped out".
Fortunately, Kadokura-san and the others had no life-threatening injuries. However, all of them were still unconscious and in critical condition. Their lives would have been in danger if they hadn’t been able to escape quickly using Kadokura-san’s serpent-like shikigami.
The city of Shinonome was currently recruiting professional exorcists with experience from the surrounding areas in response to the emergency situation of a professional team being wiped out.
However, according to what I’d heard, there were only a few competent demons who would be able to arrive in Shinonome in a day or two.
It seemed like high-ranking students and practical instructors at the School for Exorcists were going to be dispatched as support but none of them were as adept at dealing with monsters as Kadokura-san and the others.
If this continued, there were surely going to be casualties on the exorcists’ side as well as the general public’s.
"Furuya-kun! Aoi-chan!"
It was then.
The door of the D class opened briskly and Soya walked straight to me and Karasuma.
Soya silently grabbed mine and Karasuma’s arms and pulled us forcibly into the hallway.
I could feel the murderous glances from the D class guys but that wasn’t important at the moment.
It was because I could sense what Soya was going to say.
"There’s only one way left to go about this. No one can win head-on against a monster… that can annihilate a professional veteran team."
As the students disappeared from the hallways in preparation for their regular morning classes, Soya continued down the hallway leading to the elevators and continued,
"We have to find the woman who runs away from boobs by the end of today and exorcise her with a single strike when she hasn’t turned into a monster yet… we need your power, Furuya-kun."
–Climax Exorcism.
It was an obscene ability that forced anyone, living or dead, to climax when struck at their pleasure points and as if it were a bonus, also forced evil spirits and monsters to ascend to heaven.
I didn’t want to use it if I could help it. If possible, I didn’t want anyone to know about it. This disgraceful thing that resided within my hands. This terrible curse that seemed like the manifestation of shame itself… however.
"Well, looks like that really is the only way left."
I groaned in resignation.
Soya stopped and blinked her eyes in surprise.
"Eh? You agreed so easily."
"Now that things have become this bad, we should do everything we can to help."
Even if I had to use these obscene hands.
I didn’t think it was right for me to use climax exorcism on a flesh and blood human being, let alone a girl, but I couldn’t dwell on it in this situation where a person might die at any moment.
"You say that but you’re actually getting hot under your collar because you have a great reason to use your ability on a young and fresh high school girl now, aren’t you? I’m certainly getting hot under my collar."
Karasuma breathed wildly in excitement. Don’t put me together with you. I’ll kill you.
"Alright, great. If you say that then I won’t worry about it, Furuya-kun!"
After ignoring Karasuma’s remarks, Soya started walking quickly again.
"Well then, I want you to jab every girl with small breasts that I find, in order of increasing size!"
What!?
"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!"
I put a stop to Soya’s outrageous suggestion.
"What a stupid idea! If the girl I jab isn’t the monster, it would just be indecent assault!"
A man who suddenly jabbed your body and made you climax was a monstrified molester, no matter how you thought about it. I was going to be exorcised (and arrested) before the woman who runs away from boobs ever was.
Hearing my objection, Soya blushed awkwardly and said,
"I, it’s a necessary sacrifice to solve this case…"
"This is not going to end well! Why don’t you ask one of the high-ranking students to use their spirit vision ability and observe the small-breasted girls you found?"
"But all the high-ranking students who can move right now are forming units to deal with the woman who runs away from boobs… if I want to pull one of them out under these circumstances, I’ll have to explain to them at least a little about your exorcism ability, Furuya-kun."
I groaned.
Don’t let knowledge about my ability spread. Make sure no one around us finds out about my ability. If you can’t do that then the team will be disbanded. Those were the conditions that had been agreed upon when I teamed up with Soya.
I was grateful that she had taken those conditions into consideration but if the result was that she wanted me to commit a series of indecent assaults then that was putting the cart before the horse.
"…why don’t you use your demon eyes to grab their weakness. Then you can make them cooperate without explaining my ability to them."
Exorcists were human too. If she looked at them with her demon eyes then there should be plenty of sexual information for her to dig up. Like me for example.
"Furuya-kun, how savage!"
"I don’t want you to be the one saying that to me…! But how are you going to do it? In all the strategies we’ve talked about, if you can’t use your demon eyes on all the classes in Shinonome High School in one day then this is just going to be a foolish gamble."
Soya had only been able to use her demon eyes on a total of ten classes yesterday. If we wanted to check all the classes in Shinonome High School then there were still twice as many classes left. It would be great if we were lucky enough to find the woman who runs away from boobs in the first one or two classes but if we didn’t then Soya’s spirit power wouldn’t be able to last.
Soya nervously chuckled "Fu, fufufu" in a slightly shaky voice and took out something from her pocket.
"I got this sent over from my parents’ house yesterday, just in case something like this happened. The recovery potion I told you about."
In her hand was a suspicious small vial with a clichéd skull mark painted on it.