Chapter 1073 Tokyo Illusion Part 11
YUHI
Then again if Aki told her to rest directly, Sumire would have been suspicious.
"She was really suffering then, and I struggled to help her."
"You did? But you got her to smile." Yuhi pointed to the words on the bottom of one of the pages.
"Yes, but it was only when I spoke about my dreams or if it had to do with you." Toh trailed off. "It was honestly a challenge, and in the end my efforts were temporary. She completely fell apart after Mamoru's accident."
Yuhi knew about this since Sumire mentioned it and Mashima certainly recorded it properly, even the words he used, calling her a doll.
"Why did you say that to her?"
Toh exhaled deeply. "I'll admit, I wasn't in a good place myself, mentally anyway. I don't know why I said that to her, but her reaction hurt me more. She hugged me and said that she understood."
Yuhi cringed hearing those words. He cringed because the mere thought of the intimate moment between the two.
"It's not just you she asked me to look after. Akane herself requested this of her brother, but before she asked for the favour. Sumire did the same." Toh points to another file with Nagawa Sano's file. "That guy is a mess, he was just here before you."
"I don't think Sumire has been talking to him."
"Yeah, and that's the issue."
Yuhi finally notices the bandages on his arm. "Is that-"
"He got violent again."
Yuhi frowned. "You shouldn't have to deal with that. I know you don't like him."
Toh sighs deeply. "At this point, even if I hate him, I can tolerate him for Akane and Sumire's sake."
"You really saw Nagawa Akane when-"
Toh chuckled. "Yeah, she isn't like her siblings thats for sure. She's a good girl."
It's hard to imagine Mashima with well anyone who isn't Sumire at this point. Even if Mashima was only fooling around. It seems like Nagawa Akane developed actual feelings for him. That's a good thing, it's good that there is someone out there who can take away his biggest rival.
But it's difficult for him to feel happy, especially seeing that pained look on Mashima's face.
"So, it's bad?" Yuhi asked.
Toh nodded. "I'm afraid even if he sees Sumire now, he will harm her."
"She invited him to her launch event."
"I know, and I said I'd distract you so he can talk to her."
Yuhi sweat fell. "You don't have to go through all that trouble. I won't forbid them from speaking to each other."
Although he will keep a careful eye out on them.
"Anyhow, let's get back to you." Toh finished typing and takes out a notepad, scribbling his name on the top. "I'll ask a few questions. If you don't want to answer, and if you feel uncomfortable. Speak up."
Yuhi thought it would be awkward but Mashima was being professional just like Sumire said. Mashima had only asked a few questions before saying.
"To put it bluntly, even without me doing a further examination. I know you have depression, Terashima."
"Just like that huh?"
"I don't think you really need me to diagnose you, you know right?"
Yuhi nodded. "I went to see a few specialists abroad and they said the same thing. But nobody there could help me."
Toh's gaze fell on his hands. "I've noticed your hands have been trembling a lot too. Does that happen a lot?"
"For a while when I was picking up the guitar, and whenever I went on stage."
"But now?"
"It's not just limited to music related. It happens frequently when I become uneasy or anxious, which by this point is nearly all the time." Yuhi admitted.
Toh didn't reply immediately. "This maybe stepping out of line, but is being with Sumire not enough?"
Yuhi laughed weakly. "It should be, it always helped before. But I don't know, while I'm reassured that she is by my side. It's not enough anymore."
To his surprise Mashima didn't say anything condescending.
"In order for me to get to the route of the issue, I'll have to pry a bit and ask about your past. I may have to bring up traumatic memories. Do you still want to proceed?"
Yuhi nodded. "I cant continue like this, I'm afraid if I stay this way I won't be able to sing anymore. I won't be able to support her."
"First of all, tell me what happened when you were abroad. About the music scene, the people you met there, your conversations with them and-" Toh trailed off. "The attacks you made on the bases."
Yuhi laughed. "Right to the point I see."
"This may seem unprofessional, and I should certainly draw a line there. But, I have been a member of the black organisation since I was a child Terashima. I know what they do there, I can only?imagine what you saw. I know that such sights would disturb anyone, and you are more sensitive than most."
He really is a psychologist, he picked up on that factor quickly. Perhaps this wasn't a bad idea after all. Like he said to Mashima just then, none of the specialists abroad could help.
Yuhi takes a deep breath as he explains what he saw.
The horrific sights, the screams of those children, the lack of regard to human life.
"I thought I had seen enough. I thought I got my hands plenty. I've been a member of the underworld since I left the facility. In the facility too, I committed terrible deeds in the form of training. But, what I saw in those bases? What I had to do?"
"You wanted to save the children didn't you?" Toh trailed off. "No, you tried."
"I did, and when I failed? When I had their blood over my hands. For the first time I realized that I hadn't seen anything yet, that I was still naive."
Toh exhaled deeply. "Coming from me, coming from someone who has been seeing those sights since I was younger. I can tell you that no matter how much you see, a part of you will always remain naive. There will always be something out there, something more brutal. You never truly adjust to seeing horrific sights."
"That sounds like something Sumire would say."
Toh blinked surprised. "I suppose she has influenced my way of thinking."
Yuhi's gaze softened. "Yeah, she does have that effect on people."
"Shall we invite Sumire over to your next session or to one of your sessions in the future? I think it would do you two some good to speak to each other."
Yuhi looked at Mashima visibly uncomfortable then. If Sumire and him are going to have a serious talk again, they'll end up having to speak about Mashima- and he doesn't really want to do that in front of him.
'I wonder if Mashima suspects Sumire's feelings for him, and if he does-'
"Terashima?" Toh said.
"Yeah, maybe in the future."
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