Chapter 1057 This is me Part 34
SUMIRE
Even though she no longer has romantic feelings for Ru, talking to him has always made her feel really happy. Spending time with him, confining in him like before, even though everything has changed. They can no longer go back to what they used to be. After being in a relationship, it's suddenly hard to revert back to being just friends, especially since it's clear Ru still likes her.
After discussing this with Toh, she finally understands why Ru always held himself back.
'Mamoru knew that if you two ever dated, and then broke up. It would change your relationship. Not everyone can be friends with the girl they used to be with. He never wanted to burden you with that, especially when you still needed him.'
Sumire stared at him. Even if she understands that now, it really is hard to believe how understanding and kind he is not just to her but also Yuhi-san and every other guy who likes her.
"What's wrong Ki? Ah, are you hun-" Mamoru's sentence fall short when they hear a rumbling sound. But, it didn't come from her, it came from him.
Sumire exhales deeply. This part of him still hasn't changed. He lives such a careless lifestyle. She rummages through her bag. "The staff gave me some pastries, for today's job. They should still be warm, do you want some?"
Mamoru's stomach rumbles again and he laughs sheepishly. "I suppose I will take you up on that offer."
The two of them find a nearby bench and sit down. Sumire watched him happily munch on the pastries. He looks so happy. Even now she doesn't understand how this person can smile so much.
"Ru, have you been going to your hospital visits? You look really pale."
"Don't worry, it's hard to get out of them now. Sano makes sure to send me reminders, and Toh practically drags me to my appointments."
Sumire laughed. "They are taking care of you, I didn't think you would become such good friends with them."
"Yeah, Sano aside. I was really cautious towards Toh before."
"But that changed?" Sumire wondered.
Mamoru nodded. "We were in touch after you two broke up. But, it wasn't until after my accident and when Toh found me did we start to become friends. He is a genuinely?kind person. I can see why you fell for him."
"Mm, he really is kind."
Mamoru exhales deeply. "Sorry, I really should stop bringing up your feelings."
Sumire shakes her head. "It's good being able to talk about it with someone. I actually didn't realize until I was by Lucifer's side. I realized that even without memories, I remembered Toh. I sought his company, I felt joy whenever he visited me. When I regained my memories, and recalled all of this. I realized I couldn't deny it anymore."
"I will be here for you Ki, whenever you want to talk."
She raised her eyebrow. "Oh really? You're not going to run away or visit in secret anymore?"
When she first discovered that he was doing this, she was livid and ranted about it to Toh.
Mamoru looked down and mumbled. "I'm really sorry. I just didn't know how to face you. Ever since we met again we have been fighting a lot. Sano told me he doesn't understand why I am wasting time fighting, after being reunited."
"Well for once I have to agree with him." Sumire shakes her head. "It's not like you're the only one to blame. I just got frustrated and didn't consider your circumstances. I know it's been hard on you too."
Mamoru didn't say anything but she understood that he couldn't deny it.
"The two of us have been really silly, poor Huan having such clumsy parents."
Mamoru laughed. "It's still hard for me to believe that the two of us can be parents."
Sumire sighed. "Right? I definitely don't have that mother vibe going for me."
"It's true you're clumsy, but I always thought you would make a good mother."
"Are you going to insult or compliment me? Make your mind up."
Mamoru laughed again and she sighs. He really does take everything at his own pace. It truly is nice, being able to speak like this with him again. After they spoke on her birthday, all the other encounters have led to them fighting about something.
"But, you always thought huh? It was sneaky of you to make me go to those check ups without telling me I was pregnant."
"Uh right, another thing I have to apologize about." Mamoru trailed off. "I did want to tell you. But, at the same time I knew if I told you. You would have pushed your debut back again."
"Of course I would have. Have you ever heard of someone debuting when they are pregnant?"
"I know, but if you push it back again. Not only would you receive backlash. But your insecurities and fears would get the better of you again."
Indeed, now that he mentions it, she can't deny that she would have done that.
Sumire exhales deeply. "You really do know me well Ru."
"Uh I actually can't take credit for this. Toh was the one who advised me to-"
Sumire looked at him horrified. "Toh knew?"
"Well yeah, even though I initially said 'I am asking for a friend.' He saw through me right away so I had to confess. He had to admit that he was impressed that I got you pregnant after doing it just once."
Sumire really wanted to find a hole and hide. She can't believe the two of them had such a discussion. So, Toh knew, that makes sense. He seemed very interested about the first few months before she gave birth to Huan. He should have just asked her directly, it's not like she would have gotten angry at him.
"Toh knows me too well." Sumire mumbled.
She thought so when they first met. But, how is he able to understand her so easily? 'I remember feeling connected to him even though I only just met him, it was a weird feeling.'
It was strange. She didn't know what possessed her to continue meeting with Toh despite getting that weird feeling. Had it be any other person, she would have pushed him away. Toh was different, he always was and it seems like from now on, that is something that will not change.
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