A warm feeling that was covering one's hand.
A warm sticky liquid that had a bright crimson color…..
It was disgusting….
It made her want to puke….
That was the first impression of the blood that was being spilled from the person that she took his life….
It was disgusting…
The smell of iron that was filling her nose….
The small amount of drop that entered her mouth filled her with the taste of metal….
The feeling of taking someone's life….
It was somehow disgusting…..
But, comfortable at the same time.
Different from the first kill she had taken, this time the man in front of her was not here to take her life.
Though she knew he was abusing the girl in front of her, and that made her feel a bit rage in her heart, it wasn't to the point as the feelings she had felt when she killed the man Callius left in Lismore City.
"He is yours."
The moment she heard that voice, the voice of the boy she followed, she readied herself.
And then attacked the man.
At first, her attacks got blocked, and she was unsuccessful.
Because she had never fought with humans or any other people aside from the knights in the Elven Palace.
Therefore, at first, it was hard for her to adapt to the way the man in front of her fought.
Because, if she had learned how to fight elegantly and nobly, the man in front of her fought while using underhanded tricks, to survive.
That was the reason why her first aim was not at the man's heart or neck but rather his shoulder.
Because she didn't learn to attack from back….
No, that was not because of that….
It was because her heart was not yet ready to kill….
However, be it the first or second attack, in the end, she knew she would kill the man in front of him.
She needed to do that…
To become strong….
That was what she believed….
Which was nothing but an ideology that was planted by the boy she was following…
Though he also believed in that ideology…
In any way, because she knew, in the end, she needed to do it, she started gathering her courage more and more with each attack she threw.
Though she knew the man in front of him was someone that was stronger than him physically, the thing she learned in the palace was showing their effects.
Because she was better at utilizing her strength.
And in the end, the time came.
Time for the decisive blow that would end the life of the man in front of her.
Though her hands were shaking, in the end, she did it.
She killed the first person for the knight.
And the moment her attack pierced through his life, her body started shaking.
Shaking because the effects of the adrenaline were slowly dying.
However, at that moment, she felt something….
A feeling that she didn't notice at that time…
The feeling of comfort and joy that came when she killed the man….
When she saw the blood in her hands….
The blood should have felt disgusting….
Disgusting enough to make her puke….
But instead, it rather made her want more….
More blood….
Though, she rejected those feelings…
'Because you will never be like her.'
Because she wanted to be better than that girl to whom she was always compared….
She didn't want to turn into something disgusting…
Because she felt the personality she had developed over the years was changing whenever she felt like this.
How could she become someone worthy if she found something disgusting to be enjoyable?
"You did well."
However, just as she was drowning in her thoughts and self-hatred, a hand touched her shoulder.
A hand that didn't make her repulsive.
A hand that was cold but made her feel warm for a second.
And soon her eyes locked with his cold red eyes…
Those cold red eyes that never wavered whenever situation they were in.
"But we need to move again."
Hearing this while looking at his eyes, she dissected the feelings in her heart.
'I am doing this to get stronger. I will have my revenge.'
While mumbling like that.
******
However, as the day went on, that feeling in her heart continued to grow further.
Her second kill was a woman that was touching a young boy that was the age of her brother at most….
In the end, she was able to slit her throat.
Though that didn't make the after-feelings easier.
Because that feeling of joy entered her head again.
The feeling of comfort.
It was such a weird situation for her.
Because in her entire life, she always thought killing was bad.
"Good. You are making progress."
Though, in the end, there was this warm hand that was there….
*****
Her third kill was another woman.
This time she was killing slave girls for fun.
Though at this point, she was slowly getting used to the feeling of killing others.
Because of that reason, she didn't have a hard time with dealing with the feelings in her heart.
However, the fight was pretty challenging, so she listened to what he said after the fight.
"Don't ever think we are here to display our beauty. The dagger you are holding right now. It is not something fashionable but something made for killing. Don't ever forget that."
Those words overlapped with what her 'mother' said.
"We elves don't use our weapons like those inferior races. We are more beautiful and stronger. We should always be beautiful."
Two sentences were clashing.
Though in the end, the words of the red-eyed boy in front of her overwrote the other.
*****
Her fourth kill was a man that made a deal with a demon.
Though the demon in the topic was ranked pretty lower since the man was weak.
However, because it made her remember the feelings she wanted to forget, in the end, she gave into the rage and killed the man.
But someone was not that happy with that.
"You put yourself in danger by rushing that blindly. You need to control your emotions while dealing with life and death. If not, even if you are strong, you won't be able to win."
Those were the words that left his mouth.
For some reason, she listened to him.
And the night went on just like that.
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