The thought of denying his struggles and putting on a facade of unwavering strength crossed Ethan's mind. He didn't want to burden Emily with his own battles, nor did he want to create any sense of doubt or worry within her. He understood the importance of maintaining a strong front, especially in times of crisis.
Ethan had always been a self-reliant individual, preferring to shoulder his burdens in silence. He believed that he could find solutions to his problems on his own, without burdening others with his worries. However, as the weight of his concerns grew heavier, he began to question the effectiveness of his solitary approach.
With a lingering sense of uncertainty, Ethan decided to take a leap of faith and open up to those he trusted. He understood that seeking the advice and support of others might offer fresh perspectives and potential solutions that he had not considered before. While he didn't hold high expectations, he realized that the power of human connection and shared experiences could hold unexpected possibilities.
"As you already know, I can absorb the memories of those I touch, but before that, I absorb their mana," Ethan said. "That isn't everything, tough. Once I absorbed a large amount of memories, they began to echo in my mind like voices. I call them forgotten voices."
"... I see," Emily said. "You become able to control your own memories like that once you go to the other world, right? You believe that your power and that trick are connected?"
"I guess so," Ethan replied.
"But you lost those voices when you returned, but you also lost your powers," Emily added.
"Indeed," Ethan said.
"If your power were like the monsters I faced, it would be easy to explain it," Emily rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "They use souls to make themselves stronger, but they aren't necromancers or something like that. In your case, you aren't something like a manipulator of memories either… since you can't control your power by deactivating. Still, it is similar to the ability of those things."
"Because I absorb the mana… but the memories don't become fuel to power me up further," Ethan said.
"The world you saved had gods or ancient spirits or something?" Emily asked. "If you lost your powers, items, and the knowledge of the forgotten voices, something or someone received that when you returned."
Ethan had long contemplated the origins and purpose of his curse. The idea that someone or something had intentionally bestowed this burden upon him to serve as a medium had crossed his mind more than once. The concept seemed plausible, given the nature of his curse and its connection to the souls of defeated enemies.
However, despite his diligent search, Ethan had found no concrete evidence or trace of the entity responsible for bestowing this curse upon him. It remained a frustrating mystery, shrouded in uncertainty and speculation. He had scoured ancient texts, consulted with knowledgeable individuals, and delved deep into his own memories, yet the answers remained elusive.
This lack of tangible evidence only added to the weight of Ethan's burden. The uncertainty surrounding the origins and purpose of his curse intensified his feelings of isolation and the sense that he was bearing a responsibility that he could not fully comprehend.
Ethan mulled over the revelation shared by Luneria, contemplating the notion that the will of the world may have played a significant role in bestowing his curse upon him. If this were true, it suggested a reciprocal relationship, wherein the world itself received everything Ethan obtained and experienced in his journeys across different realms.
Such a concept was both awe-inspiring and perplexing. It implied a profound interconnection between Ethan and the worlds he had traversed, suggesting that his actions and experiences had far-reaching consequences. It raised questions about the nature of his role as a summoned hero and the purpose behind his encounters in these different realms.
If the world indeed absorbed and assimilated his knowledge, skills, and memories, it would mean that they were enriched by his presence. Ethan pondered the implications of this reciprocal exchange. Did the worlds, in turn, provide him with the power and abilities he possessed? Was his curse a manifestation of the collective will of the worlds, a way for them to channel their energy through him?
"Maybe the world that I saved wanted the power that I obtained but left me with the curse to reward me and to make me get stronger faster again," Ethan said.
"I would say that if the will of a planet is involved, then it is because it can't take back completely what it was given," Emily said. "It is hard to explain, but our powers are part of us because we are the right vessels for it. I would say that just like the planet you saved took the powers, knowledge, and skills that you once had, you have the same power to control all that."
"I have been trying to do that for the past year," Ethan shrugged.
Ethan let out a deep, weary sigh as he contemplated the seemingly endless cycle of his struggles, even with Emily's support and assistance. Despite their best efforts, the challenges he faced remained daunting and elusive. It felt as though he was trapped in a perpetual loop, unable to break free and find the answers he sought.
His reliance on Emily's help had provided some solace and guidance. Still, deep down, Ethan yearned for a resolution that would grant him a true sense of purpose and direction. He had hoped that together, they could unlock the secrets behind his curse and find a way to mitigate its effects. However, the road ahead seemed mired in uncertainty and frustration.
"I think you are following the wrong approach," Emily said. "While you are learning magic, you should have focused on learning things like enchantment magic. It is difficult since it creates an effect that lasts for many years, but I think that it be a good first step to control your power."
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