[Song Recommendation: BTS - Home.]
"Vernon, I did everything because I want you to have a real home!"
"Home…" Vernon murmured that word, and it instantly filled a space in his brain. He stared at Chloe, who looked emotional. She looked earnest and sincere, which made him unable to argue with her at all.
Sometimes, Vernon wondered if he was just too weak against Chloe. He truly couldn't fight her in any situation, especially if she began to shed tears. He'd feel like a failure as a man and, in the end, had to nod to everything she said.
But Vernon didn't want Chloe to keep pushing this.
He knew that she meant well. She wanted to give him a home, a family that could love him.
But he didn't need this much in his family. All he needed was Chloe, Mackie, and their future children—no more, no less.
His heart was aching, knowing that he would probably make her cry, but he had to fight her, or else she'd completely dominate their relationship without giving him a chance to voice his disagreement.
Vernon gently caressed his beloved's cheek and said, "You are my home, Chloe. I don't need anyone else in this life other than you. The moment we reunited, I know that you will be the first and last place I will harbor my heart."
"So you don't need to do so much just to give me home, Chloe," Vernon said. "Besides, don't you feel pity for me?"
"Pity?"
Vernon sighed, "Chloe, it took me a great deal of self restraint just to accept Dorothea into our life. I've done so much, but that doesn't mean I can accept her easily."
"You're forcing me to accept my abuser, Chloe," Vernon said. "You're rushing things. You're hurting me, because I keep being reminded of my bad childhood whenever I see Dorothea."
Vernon kept his eyes on Chloe as he said all those things. And just like he expected, Chloe's eyes were glazed with tears. She looked hurt, and usually, by this time, Vernon would've admitted defeat and let her have her way.
Thus, Vernon toughened his heart and assured himself, 'This is for the best of us. She needs to know that what she did makes me sad as well.'
"How about this, I will tolerate Dorothea and those boys to join our Christmas, but only on Christmas. You're not allowed to let them stay in here when I'm home, deal?"
Chloe wiped the tears from the corner of her eyes.
She actually felt so guilty.
She hoped that Vernon would be happy with all the arrangements she made because she thought that was the best for Vernon, but it seemed that she was rushing it to the point that it hurt Vernon.
Thus, she nodded to seal the deal and added, "I'm sorry, Vernon. I just… I just want to make you happy…"
"But I am already happy, much more than I deserve to have," Vernon said. "I have you, we have our daughter Mackie and our future children later, and you will be separated from that bastard Vincent soon. What more do I need?"
"I just thought that you won't be happy unless you have everything solved, including your trauma…." Chloe admitted.
"Look, I've talked with Dorothea before, and I told her that I can't just accept her easily after what she did to me back then," Vernon said. "And she understood what I meant. She knew that she couldn't obtain my forgiveness easily. She has to work for it, that's why I told her that I might give her a second chance once I see her treating those boys kindly until they grow up."
"Forgiving an abuser to your life is already a huge effort, Chloe, let alone accepting them into your already perfect life."
Chloe nodded.
She was definitely pushing things.
She acted upon her idea of what was good for Vernon, but she didn't listen to the main person involved. She thought that Vernon had to be pushed a little so he would accept everything she idealized.
"Yes, I understand, Vernon," Chloe said. "I'm sorry for forcing you to accept things quickly. I finally realized that you need time as well. Just like how you give me time to heal from Vincent."
Vernon saw the teardrop from the corner of her eyes. He was holding it for so long but couldn't help it in the end.
He embraced her gently and pushed her face on his chest, allowing her to hear his heart that only beat for her.
"My beloved, you're hurting me if you cry. Please don't shed those tears, or I might go crazy,"
The more Vernon tried to comfort her, the sadder Chloe felt.
"I just want to be useful," Chloe admitted. "I don't know what I should do to make myself useful to you. You've done so much for me, and all I did is make trouble for you."
"How am I supposed to hold my head high and stand beside you when I feel like a parasite to you?"
Vernon sighed.
Sometimes he wondered what he should do to convince Chloe that she did more than enough for him. In fact, Vernon was the one who felt that he hadn't compensated her enough for all the accusations and grudges he had against her for the past ten years.
Vernon patted the back of Chloe's head and comforted her more, "Stay by my side forever, Chloe. That's the best way if you want to repay me."
"That's now the way for me to repay you, because that's given!" Chloe argued. "I will stay by your side no matter what, because you show me what love truly is. You're asking me for a bare minimum, Vernon!"
Vernon had never seen Chloe this desperate to please him. Could this be the reason for all the excessive things she did?
She really thought that she was doing the bare minimum.
Vernon bit his lower lip and uttered the sentence he had wanted to say for a long time, "You already did everything to help me, Chloe."
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