Chapter 669. Adjusting (4)
'I need to wise up!'
A hint of determination quickly entered Choi Yeon-Ha's expression.
This was a mistake. More specifically, she had made a mistake on this one.
'I was being blind and deaf wasn't I?'
Of course, calling it solely her mistake wasn't fair. Anyone who suddenly gained power would get that incessant urge to use that power at least once, after all!
A person with a gun would want to discharge it somewhere, and a poor person suddenly coming into lots of wealth would feel the urge to throw money around. 'Power' was like that.
If anything, people who'd rather hide their power after acquiring it were a rarity. The odd ones out. Since that was the case, Choi Yeon-Ha shouldn't be held totally responsible for what happened!
Unfortunately, the impact of her mistake was still too grave.
Choi Yeon-Ha sighed under her breath. The sight of the film set was burning into her retina.
Pure spirit! Overwhelming, overpowering spirit on display! That was what this was. Standing before the cameras, Liu Wei was putting on a performance of his life as an overwhelming spirit gushed out of his every pore.
Of course, that still didn't mean calling his performance 'good' was now on the cards. On the contrary, it was still poor. However, something that couldn't be felt from him before, passion, was crystal-clear for all to see this time.
'But... Can I even call that passion?'
If the sight of a rabbit running at full tilt to escape from chasing hounds could be packaged as 'passion', then yes, Liu Wei's display could also qualify as it. If not, then forget passion... as it should be called desperation instead!
At least the completion rate was going up, so that was something. Like mixing water into water and alcohol with alcohol...
The rank amateur who cared more about how his face appeared on screen rather than how good his performance was finally doing what he was supposed to do, after all!
Whether his acting was good or not was irrelevant at this point. What mattered the most right now was that Liu Wei was trying to act! That one change in attitude had transformed him into something many times better than before. And such a thing should be celebrated. However...!
Choi Yeon-Ha could not enjoy this spectacle at all. That was because she knew who was responsible for creating this situation. And it must be Kang Jin-Ho.
Just like how Choi Yeon-Ha still fumed and gritted her teeth at the mere sight of her costar, Kang Jin-Ho probably didn't hold any favorable impression of Liu Wei. If Choi Yeon-Ha hadn't stopped Kang Jin-Ho that night, Liu Wei wouldn't be here today. She could guarantee it.
That was when she was rewarded with a fresh reminder of... how scary Kang Jin-Ho actually was.
...And how she had been drunk on that feeling, too. Drunk on the fact that a man much scarier than anything on this Earth was caring for her and protecting her! Which ended up with her trying to use that power as she wished. The end result was there for all to see.
The sight of Liu Wei sweating buckets and trying to act roused the feeling of pity in Choi Yeon-Ha for the first time during their interactions. And she had a sobering realization of how she, not Kang Jin-Ho, was responsible for that version of Liu Wei.
'Right. Mister Jin-Ho's not to blame here.'
She believed it was 100% her fault for this turn of events.
The world operated this way, however. Those with power always lorded over those without power. And those with a lot of power would lord over lots of people. However, Kang Jin-Ho seemed to have transcended beyond this convention.
When she looked back... Didn't everything this man wanted to happen, happen eventually? Besides, she already knew something else, didn't she? That Kang Jin-Ho wasn't someone who could live among the ordinary. That didn't suit him.
Yet she still established a connecting point to the ordinary world for such a man, then tried to use his power to make life more convenient for herself.
Choi Yeon-Ha's face suddenly became flushed.
'Aren't I... practically the same as all those skanks I used to make fun of?'
She slapped her cheeks rather forcefully when her thoughts arrived at that conclusion.
Han Eun-Sol blinked his eyes in shock. “Heol?! Noona, what are you doing?”
“It's nothing. Don't worry about it.” Choi Yeon-Ha lightly waved her hand to brush her manager's worried question off. Her burning cheeks helped her sober up instantly.
'What a dumb little girl...!'
Choi Yeon-Ha grimaced. She traveled all the way to China to shoot this TV show because she wanted to become someone suitable for Kang Jin-Ho, but the first thing she did after seeing him again was...
'Drive me around. Go and find that guy for me. Hang out and keep me company...'
“Dumb little girl...!”
“...Noona, what's the matter?”
“It's nothing, okay! It's nothing!”
Han Eun-Sol frowned deeply. “...If it's nothing, why are you getting angry at me?”
Choi Yeon-Ha gritted her teeth. Humans were supposed to reveal their true character in moments of adversity. Did that mean this was her true character?
If so... what a disappointment she was.
Just how much did she despise her peers who clung to successful men and acted all high and mighty as if their men's powers were theirs? But her own actions were no different to those she held in contempt. Liu Wei's pitiful sight bitterly reminded her of that fact.
There was something else as well. Most things would get cleanly resolved if Kang Jin-Ho decided to get involved. That was what Choi Yeon-Ha felt several times in the past. So clean, in fact, that the refreshing feeling she'd get was second to none!
However, the impact of his involvement was just as considerable. Somehow, the stories of his feat hadn't spread around, so things remained relatively okay until now. However, if events similar to this Liu Wei incident were repeated a few more times... Attention would inevitably fall on Kang Jin-Ho next. And that could destroy the delicate balance of his life.
When she thought about how she tried to use Kang Jin-Ho for her convenience, this indescribable guilty conscience slammed into her heart without mercy.
“You dumb little crazy bitch...!”
“...Noona, stop.”
“Fine. Got it.”
Choi Yeon-Ha was about to lose her temper again at Han Eun-Sol but quickly changed her mind along with her expression. She nodded back to her manager, knowing he was merely worried about her. In that case, why was she getting angry at him?
Losing her temper at people around her while her frustration got the better of her was a nasty habit, something she knew was unhealthy but couldn't be readily fixed.
'I... I'm really terrible, aren't I?'
Choi Yeon-Ha spat out a soft groan. Now that she had analyzed her recent actions, 'pathetic' was the only conclusion she could arrive at. She tried to use and abuse people around her just because something big almost happened to her. She subconsciously believed everyone needed to humor her whims.
Of course, she shouldn't be criticized for this mindset. After all, she did almost experience something deeply traumatic, which in turn almost caused her mind to shatter into bits. Even so... whining and complaining to people around her? Was that something Choi Yeon-Ha wanted to see herself doing?
There was no way that'd be true!
If being an ordinary woman satisfied her, Choi Yeon-Ha would have never even thought about coming this far. No, she desired to become someone a little better, a little more excellent, than her current self. Someone who wouldn't be found lacking regardless of who she was compared to!
Choi Yeon-Ha suddenly shot up to her feet. “Mister Jin-Ho!”
“Yes?” Kang Jin-Ho confusedly looked back at her.
“I'd like to speak to you for a minute.”
That was all Choi Yeon-Ha said before striding gallantly toward the white van.
Kang Jin-Ho blinked his eyes in confusion at her powerful, firm footsteps, then turned his head to look at Han Eun-Sol. “Did I do something wrong?”
“...No one can tell what's cooking in that noona's mind, you know?”
“You think so, too?”
When Kang Jin-Ho nervously fidgeted around and didn't move, Choi Yeon-Ha suddenly turned back and yelled back at him. “What are you doing! Hurry!”
“I, I'm coming!”
Kang Jin-Ho trotted toward the van, his expression still one of nervousness.
***
“Please take a seat!”
“Yes, ma'am.”
When Kang Jin-Ho entered the van, Choi Yeon-Ha pointed to the backseat. So, he didn't argue and took up the spot as ordered.
She grabbed the seat in front of him, then began struggling with it for some reason. Eventually, the seat spun around to face Kang Jin-Ho.
He chuckled slightly. “Well, that's a convenient feature.”
“It's an expensive van, after all,” said Choi Yeon-Ha while climbing into the seat. “Can you take off your disguise now, please?”
“Of course.”
When Kang Jin-Ho took off his mask and sunglasses, Choi Yeon-Ha nodded in satisfaction.
“Do you have something you'd like to talk about?” Kang Jin-Ho asked while putting his items away.
“Yes, I do. As a matter of fact, lots of them,” said Choi Yeon-Ha while sitting upright. Then, she bowed deeply toward him. “First of all, I must express my gratitude toward you. For various things.”
“I thought we've already gone over this?”
“I'm not thanking you for saving me that time. No, wait. That came out wrong. Yes, I'm grateful for that too, but this is for something else. After you saved me, I kept nagging you and irritated you, but you didn't complain once and humored me. And I'm genuinely grateful for that. And... I'm sorry.”
Kang Jin-Ho tilted his head to indicate he didn't understand.
“I've been thinking about myself and... I've been pretty terrible lately. It's not like I'm someone super important or anything, so I should be thanking you from the bottom of my heart for coming this far to see me. But all I did was complain and whine like a little kid, constantly demanding things... I'm sorry. It must've been annoying you.”
“No. I didn't think it was particularly annoying.”
“But it still wasn't nice either. Wasn’t... it?”
Kang Jin-Ho didn't try to deny it.
Choi Yeon-Ha smiled weakly. It looked just a little sad, too. “Yes, it's obvious, isn't it? That's what people are like, after all. And you certainly didn't come all this way here to play my nanny, either... Thinking about all this stuff today... It made me feel a little weird about myself, you know? But if I try to talk to you about this later, I have a feeling that my stupid ego will make a mess of it. That's why I wanted to tell you everything right away. Please accept my apology, Mister Jin-Ho.”
Kang Jin-Ho sighed softly. “You don't need to apologize for something like that. It's not like I felt inconvenienced or burdened, anyway.”
Choi Yeon-Ha resolutely shook her head. “No, I want to apologize to you. I might not know everything, but I do know for sure that human relationships should never be one-sided. I also know that humans want to receive something as much as they give. But I've been one-sidedly demanding things from you and took that for granted. So... if you want to scold me, I have no excuses to give you.”
Choi Yeon-Ha bowed her head again at Kang Jin-Ho.
“I'm sorry.”
“Mm...” Kang Jin-Ho sheepishly scratched his cheek. As expected, he found occasions like this still uncomfortable.
“Also, apologizing isn't the only reason why I wanted to speak to you. I also had a few more things to discuss with you,” said Choi Yeon-Ha. She didn't beat around the bush and got right back to it. “From this moment on, I won't ask you to do this and that for me. No, let me be more honest than that. If something that only you can handle happens to me, or when I really, really need your help, I will ask you for your favor. However, I won't ask you to deal with minor things happening in and around my life.”
Kang Jin-Ho slowly nodded in silence since he didn't know what would've been the appropriate response.
“And I will also stop dragging you into my daily activities and getting you involved. I'm sure it's been a bit annoying to deal with.”
“Well, I haven't particularly felt that way, but...” Kang Jin-Ho pondered his reply for a second there. Although nothing verged on being annoying, he had to admit that this experience certainly wasn't pleasant. Her part of the world was still such a distance away from his side of things, after all.
“Yes, that's the problem right there,” said Choi Yeon-Ha.
She acutely sensed the severity of this issue.
'What an idiot I've been.'
She wanted to be with Kang Jin-Ho, so she egged him on to come to China. But... What would happen if Kang Jin-Ho didn't find spending time with her all that enjoyable?
Their relationship would end in no time at all.
Choi Yeon-Ha grew too excited by the fact that this blunt yet clueless man was showing goodwill in her way and crossed the line. Crossing the line was already bad enough, but the core of the problem was with her personality. She was someone who'd wantonly cross lines without realizing that she did once she grew close enough to others.
The more she thought about it, the angrier she got with herself.
“Mister Jin-Ho, I promise I will never do that again. Please be gracious and try to forgive me this one time. I... I must've been under a lot of stress lately.”
“No, hang on a minute.” Kang Jin-Ho suddenly stopped her by firmly waving his hand. “I understand what you're trying to say, Miss Yeon-Ha. But this kind of talk is making me feel uncomfortable. Just like how you don't want to inconvenience or burden me, I also don't want to do that to you.”
“Burden...?”
“Yes. It's got nothing to do with discomfort but everything to do with hanging out with you. Even if it can be a bit uncomfortable, there's something better to look forward to, after all.”
A grin bloomed on Choi Yeon-Ha's face. Kang Jin-Ho, he... This was how this man operated, wasn't he?
He always said some innocuous-sounding things to flutter a girl's heart. Just like now. Words that seemed dry and witless were still enough to get her pulses racing.
As her flushes quickly extended down to her neck and beyond, Choi Yeon-Ha carefully raised her voice.
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