Chapter 820: Chapter 820 I Reject Your Reality and Substitute My Own
“Well it’s not like I was going to tell my boss all the sordid details of my dead fiancé am I? That’s hardly appropriate workplace conversation!” hissed Zuhra.
“Workplace conversation?” asked Jara flabbergasted. “Workplace conversation! Jara you’ve seen me naked. You’ve seen me literally covered in horse shit. You have seen me cry and scream and yell just to deal with all my pent up emotions. Don’t you DARE tell me any of that is appropriate as a ‘workplace conversation’. Zuhra. YOU WORK IN MY HOUSE. You are someone who is at least a friend and maybe a sister. You WERE TOLD THIS WHEN YOU SIGNED THE CONTRACT TO WORK HERE. Don’t you try and weasel your way through this by saying it wasn’t ‘workplace appropriate’!”
Zuhra flinched at Jara’s raised voice. As Jara continued to glare she put away her knife and grabbed a chair to properly converse. “You may have a bit of a point,” admitted Zuhra. Jara raised an eyebrow as if saying ‘just a bit’ but Zuhra held her ground this time. “Yes. A bit. I still find it to be a major breech of privacy. You had no right,”
Jara glared back, somewhat annoyed at Zuhra’s attitude now and said, “Technically speaking, the papers I gave Kat that lets her investigate are all perfectly valid. Not only do I have a full and complete right to investigate everything in your background, technically speaking Apep does as well. He wants to elevate you to an important position in his household. Granted it’s not actually employment he wants to marry you... but he does have the right to investigate your background for it.
“I even went light on things, just giving Kat permission to find information and ask questions. Nothing about forcing any of them to answer. So despite how rude it may or may not be all Kat did was ask a few questions. Really, she could have probably done it without the permission notes. So no Zuhra. Despite what you think we had ever right,”
Zuhra sniffed as if she’d smelt something rank. “Sure, but if we ARE friends like you said isn’t it a bit invasive?”
Jara shrugged, “If you want to make that argument... I’ve been around you for two years and I don’t know the name of the woman who raised you in the orphanage. I don’t know who your fiancé was. I’ve only heard of your friend Marem, and I’m pretty sure you didn’t mean to even give me that much.
.....
“But sure. Let’s pretend that is all normal. Let’s pretend that I’ve never been bothered by the fact you know nearly everything about my own life but I know nothing about yours... YOU ARE MISSERABLE ZUHRA-” shouted Jara.
“I am not!” cut in Zuhra.
“YOU ARE!” said Jara firmly. “You take a break only because it’s contractually mandated. You had to be FORCED TO SLEEP. You clean everything in reach even when it’s been done once or twice already because you can’t sit still. Just talking vaguely about your past makes you wince. Zuhra. If Kat hadn’t provided me an opportunity to look into things the way she did... I honestly would have done it by myself at some point.
“I’d have given you three years I think. Three years to get over everything in your past and move forward. Three years to get yourself situated. That’s probably more time then I should have been willing to give you but it’s not like you’re a sobbing wreck all the time. You can still work, you still smile. But... now I have to wonder... have I ever really seen you smile? Has it always been fake?”
Zuhra winced at the scathing criticism of her lifestyle. “I... I’m fine. This is my real smile,” said Zuhra as she righted herself back to her more standard mannerisms.
Jara sighed, “Honey... I don’t know what’s sadder. The fact that I thought that smile was at all natural or the fact you still seem to believe it yourself. Clearly I have failed as your mistress if things were this bad,” Jara finished speaking and shook her head slowly.
*Well... this has become... a whole thing really hasn’t it?*
[I don’t even know if this is still about us going behind her back at this point. I’m pretty sure she’s just using this as a chance to vent and I think Jara might be letting her. She almost seems to be intentionally riling Zuhra up at this point. Jara’s nowhere near as... uncomposed as last time she broke down. This feels a lot more staged. Well, at least of Jara’s end...]
“Well what do YOU know? You’ve never lost anybody that close to you. I had to grow up without parents, the love of my life is DEAD and his mother thinks he was MURDERED. What sort of struggles do you have?” hissed Zuhra.
“Really?” asked Jara, “You really wish to go down that road? Perhaps I should ask how you would feel being forced to fit into a mould that was never for you. I’ve been groomed my entire life to lead the family when I could not care less. I was forced to learn politics and intrigue and as the future Lady of the 6th I am expected to have my own children to carry on the name,
“But let’s focus on that for a moment shall we,” Jara raised her voice just a notch, a cold anger, a wound long since scarred over but one that still I T C H E S. “I have no interest in sex. I have NEGATIVE interest in sex. I’d love nothing more than to live in the woods and study plants for the rest of my life but I have to find someone to marry that I can never love and let them fuck me at least once. Pretty sure, in civilised culture you could see that as rape. So do you really want to play the ‘what do you know’ card on me?”
Zuhra slammed her hand into the chair, “I’d trade places with you in a heartbeat,”
“And I could never be in your place because I do not, and can never, love someone the way you did Gaston!” hissed Jara, “But guess what? Unlike you, I do not bemoan the issues that I have. I came up with plans and solutions. I made contingencies. I owned up to my responsibilities and I am ready to lead the family as is expected of me. It will not fill me with joy but it IS my duty and I will fulfill it.”
“What grand responsibility do I have?” asked Zuhra.
Jara smiled, a big wide smile like the cat that got the canary. “Ah Zuhra. You have a responsibility to the matron who raised you, your friends, me, probably Gaston and his mother... but most importantly. You have a responsibility to yourself to stop trying to work yourself to death when people who care for you aren’t looking over your shoulder,”
“How would you know what Gaston would want? Or Belle? I can maybe believe that Theresa would want better for me considering all the trouble she went through to teach me and Marem has been saying things like that for years at this point. Why is this different?” asked Zuhra.
Jara went to say something but Kat decided it was time to remind Zuhra there was more than two people in the room, “Because Belle approves of Apep,”
Silence completely overtook the room. Jara was still smiling but she was respecting the silence. Lily was shrinking away so that she was half behind Kat. The conversation was a bit much and she was enjoying watching the argument play out. Kat had her chin thrust forward and a stern look on her face. She wasn’t willing to leave the slightest doubt that her words were the truth. And Zuhra... Zuhra truly didn’t know what to say.
She might not have visited Belle much since the incident but that didn’t mean she was unaware of how things had turned at. She knew about Belle’s secret crusade against the 8th, she knew about the fact Belle never left her office unless it was to go with a caravan and even that was rare these days. She knew that Belle ate whatever excess product was lying around instead of real meals. She knew that Belle had chosen a hill to die on, and was very happy to run herself into the ground up there. So what was this?
“Wha?” Zuhra couldn’t even form the full word. Her brain was trying and failing to comprehend the words that had just came out of Kat’s mouth. She was told earlier in the conversation that Kat couldn’t lie but it HAD TO BE. It HAD TO BE A LIE. Zuhra’s mind was brought to a screeching halt. The gears that turned to keep her thoughts running flying off the sprockets as a cascade of errors tried to resolve themselves. Belle. The woman on a crusade for her son... had approved of moving on?!
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