Chapter 773: Chapter 773 In Love with a What?
*The maid? Why her maid? And which maid? Does Jara just have one maid? Wait why is it even an issue if it’s Jara’s maid? Lily I have questions and I don’t know if I want Apep to give me the answers.* Lily sent a mental shrug along their connection prompting Kat to ask, “Why is that an issue?”
Apep breathed a heavy sigh, as if all the embarrassment before had drained out of him. It sort of had in a way. Instead of questioning him, or laughing they’d just gone for the more obvious question. “It’s complicated. Actually it’s complicated for a few conflicting reasons. The first, is that while marriage is sacred, I already mentioned that, it isn’t... isn’t terribly uncommon for a personal maid or butler to... include themselves in the arrangement.
“It’s somewhat frowned upon either way for different reasons. Not including the additional person is seen as disrespectful to their sense of duty. Most maids and butlers in our city built up this culture of being married top the job. Originally, what would happen is when it came time for an older maid or butler to retire, they would find an orphan to raise into the position. I’m not personally clear on when that started, and it hasn’t really stopped but...
“At some point it became more standard for the head maid or butler to... involve themselves... with the couple. Now, some of this was because...” Apep paused and looked from Lily to Kat and back a few times, “well because at the time we weren’t quite as tolerant of same sex couples. So it was quite usual that the relationship would be split into the Public Couple and the Private Couple. In public it would be the man and women, and in private, it would most commonly be that the couple was made up of two gay parties.
“We’ve come a long way since then, and now same sex marriage is no issue... but some of the wealthier merchants, and the Ten still practice it occasionally. Now, for me this isn’t a big deal. I don’t have a personal butler and I’m not gay... but the idea that I’m more interested in Jara’s maid, or her name is Zuhra, makes it sound like I’m saying ‘I want to have my cake and eat it too’ or that I’m interested, sexually, in both of them. It’s not... unheard of but it’s not really done and I DON’T WANT IT DONE,
“Not only is Jara my friend and I’d never do that to her, I like Zuhra and I’d want her to be my main official wife even if I was willing to take both of them, which I’m not. And... with Jara’s status. Even though it’s perfectly acceptable for us to find and marry a beggar, it is not acceptable for her to be anything less than head wife... but I don’t LOVE her. And she doesn’t love me.
“That’s the other issue actually, she’s asexual. She’s known she’s asexual for a long time. Longer than she should of. She used to say it when she was a kid, and nobody believed her than puberty happened and she stuck to her words, and... well I might have had a bit of a crush on her for a while, but it became clear, after a lot of watching on my part she was being completely honest. She was asexual, and knew it.”
.....
*And like that. I suddenly understand why we were the pair that was summoned for this. I was a little confused why we were called for this one considering how new our relationship is, but with an asexual girl thrown into this mix it all makes sense.*
Lily sent a feeling of affirmation down the link while Apep continued, unaware of the girls’ internal dialogue. “Now we do have precedent for this actually. It came about shortly after the precedent for same sex couples. See, while Jara does not NEED to marry because of this, she does still need an heir. It is considered part of her duty, even if the romance and marriage aspect of things is considered avoidable due to her sexual interests, or lack of them as the case may be.
“Now, the reason this further complicates things, is that admitting I like Zuhra, in a situation such as this, is a lot closer, culturally speaking, to saying I love Jara, but respect her asexuality and say I’m interested in her maid instead sort of... as a compromise I guess? It’s implying things I DO NOT WANT to imply about Zuhra.
“This is further complicated by the fact that even if my parents are willing to listen, which I’m not sure they will be because they’re good friends with Jara’s parents and have basically been planning the wedding for the last decade once they noticed we got along, Jara’s parents probably won’t be willing to give things up anywhere near as easily. Jara doesn’t have a lot of other friends, and I’m, both her closest friend and the only one that is male. Her parents are... to put it politely, not entirely believing of her ‘asexual’ stance on things.
“So they see me as a sort of compromise. If I married her, even if she was asexual, she wouldn’t be miserable about things and between the two of us we’d need at least two heirs. I think... um...” Apep’s cheeks started to colour, “I think they... they believe that um... if I just... just have sex with her often enough she’ll... err... ‘get over it’,”
Apep swallowed heavily. “Sorry... um... just... just give me a moment,” Apep stopped and breathed in carefully before breathing out slowly. Trying to recentre himself. “Sorry, I just... I kinda feel disgusted even saying it? Her parents really don’t have much room to talk because Jara’s grandparents are a gay couple and proved that heirs are still very much possible. It’s just that... they seem to think because Jara was certain of herself so much earlier than most...
“That she was ‘just saying it for attention’ and then ‘is too stubborn to admit she was wrong’ which... isn’t the best certainly. So... that’s the issue really. It’s one of the reasons I would be happy to marry Jara if things were less messy right now. She’s still my best friend and while I’d have to go elsewhere for sex if I went that direction, being married to my best friend isn’t exactly a LOSS for me,”
Apep sighed again. “Of course, that isn’t the end to complications really. If I was to just annoyance all this, lay everything out to my parents, then they’d turn the whole thing into a big production. I don’t... I don’t want to pressure Zuhra into this. That’s the last thing I want. I’m pretty sure my parents wouldn’t be... too heavy handed about it but...
“It’d be a bit like... a foreign king coming and asking a serving girl to marry him as his queen. It isn’t quite that bad, but it also isn’t really something you can, socially speaking, say no to easily. I REALLY don’t want Zuhra just saying yes because she thinks she can’t say no. It’s one of the reasons I haven’t really hammered home that I don’t plan to marry Jara. It shields my interest in Zuhra nicely, Jara knows and approves, and if things really do fail... well,”
Apep shrugs as he starts to pace slightly again, “I really would be happy with spending the rest of my life with Jara. She’s expressed no interest in marriage but would be willing to accept it if it was me. Not enthusiastically, but we can both agree that it’s ‘good enough’ I suppose. There’s... there’s just one more thing.
“Zuhra actually signed up as a maid later in life. Remember how most of them are trained when they are young? Well, Zuhra is a two years older than I, and... while I don’t know the full story, she was planning to marry her childhood sweetheart. That seemed to have crashed and burned so hard she became a maid. A job famous for the fact most of them never get married.
“I don’t KNOW what happened there. I don’t know if Zuhra is even straight because she doesn’t like to talk about whoever it was. I don’t know if they cheated on her, if they died, if they tried to kill her. It could be anything and I’ve heard gossip that confirms basically every variation of the story under the sun.
“So I can’t just approach her and ask in case I’m looking to cause her pain. It’s hardly appropriate for me to ask about her potentially dead fiancé with plans to replace him or her. I just... I LIKE being friends with Zuhra. I spend a lot of time with her and Jara both. I would very much like to court her, but not so much that if it truly is impossible for me to do so that I would much rather not damage our friendship irreparably in the attempt. As I said, I could happily spend my life with Jara, I just don’t love her. I have options, and I am thankful for that... but I... I guess I am trying to have my cake and eat it too somewhat.”
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