Chapter 479: The Weight of Choice
The remaining two demons just sat and stared at the area Aslena had vacated. Kamiko had a small amount of water that had just started to leave tracks down her face as she tried to cope with the storm of emotions that was locked within her. The many conflicting feelings were ultimately uplifting, but it was mired by confusion and uncertainty. Kat was completely gobsmacked. She wasn't crying like Kamiko, but she felt worse.
*I… I came into this fantasising about a way to get Aslena to run away crying. I didn't ever think I'd succeed and it was mostly a hope that I'd be able to beat some sense into Aslena how somehow magically got to one up her in a verbal spar. Both seemed unlikely and they were… but to see it sort of work. To see her run… I feel kinda bad.
Which makes no sense at all. Those are happy tears. I refuse to believe they are anything else. She can't possibly be sad about that fact. I… I wish I could have stopped her, given her a hug but I was so shocked I could hardly move. Kamiko was the same, and it's not like Aslena is slow, she's still a Rank 2 demon and she knows the house.
What the heck do we do now? Is it better to let her calm down? As much as I want to say those were happy tears she did sprint away at max speed, she even left her tea behind. What are you supposed to do when someone is overwhelmed by happy emotions? Should I chase after her? Get Kamiko to chase after her? I can't even send a message to Nira or ask Vivian for help because of the damned punishment. This is kind of important. Curses.*
Kat looked over at Kamiko who was smiling with tears now turning into a river down her face. It didn't look like a pained smile, but she didn't really know what to do with the emotions she was trying to contain. Kat lifted her tail up to let it sit in Kamiko's lap near the other demon's hands. When Kat felt her tail being squeezed rather hard she just sighed and continued to wonder what to do, apparently letting Kamiko use her tail as a stress ball was a good choice at least.
*So. Now what? I'm not sure Kamiko is in any state to really help Aslena, and as much as I believe I'm qualified to speak as a friend to Kamiko, I'm know friend of Aslena's. What the hell should I do? She's not like the bullies from my school is she. Those idiots had each other at the end of the day even if they were horrible people. I wonder if Aslena has anyone…*
Kat was actually right in her musings, Aslena and Kamiko before this had gone along with a polite fiction when around their family, both 'knowing' that neither was all that fond of one another. For Aslena, she'd was willing to sacrifice a lot of things to find her place in the designer world, especially if those things weren't hers in the strictest sense, without realising what she was really losing.
Kamiko had gotten caught with the negative feelings because she always felt there was nobody to complain to. As she got older she didn't think it was appropriate to complain about Aslena as much, or cry about her problems so she'd been bottling a lot of them up not realising the good things that've been done while neither of them were paying attention.
Having such clear proof that Aslena cared was something Kamiko wasn't really prepared for. Aslena on the other hand, was in the same boat. As much as she was able to make fun for not having friends, she didn't actually think her own situation was any better. So, when Kat started asking intelligent questions with a very clear motive, defending Kamiko and learning about Aslena, she couldn't help but answer them.
So the two demons sat there, letting their thoughts about the situation calm down. Eventually though, before Kamiko had fully processed things, Kat decided to speak up. "So… what should we do?"
Kamiko squeezed Kat's tail harder trying to reign in her feelings enough to speak. "I… I d-don't know Kat. Does… what does this mean?"
Kat sighed. *This is more complicated then the little fights from the orphanage. I can't just put them next to each other and ask them both to say why their sorry. This is years of problems going back as long as Kamiko can remember, interspersed with clearly at least some happy memories…* "It means things are more complicated I guess…" said Kat slowly, trying to make sure of what she was saying. "It… it hmm…
"It doesn't necessarily change things, unless you want it to" Kat let her words come slowly still, settling on trying to give Kamiko the most foundational of advice here to let her work her own way up. "you've got a bit of new knowledge, but it hasn't changed anything fundamental"
"B-but, Kat. This changes everything" said Kamiko not quite understanding.
Kat let her hand rest lightly on Kamiko's shoulder. "It changes only small things Kamiko. You've still got problems with Aslena, you still have years of problems. Now, you've seen that it might not be quite as hopeless as before, but no apology has been given, no declaration of intent.
"And you are not responsible for starting that. Now, what has really changed is that you've been given an opening. Aslena has shown that maybe this is something you need to talk about. You don't have to, but if you do nothing than things will probably just stay as they are. That is only a bad thing if you want it to be." Explained Kat
Kamiko couldn't help but scowl at that. "But it IS bad Kat. It always was bad. I… I can't just do nothing…"
Kat nodded, "That's fine. I agree with you there, but that's a choice Kamiko. You are the one changing things here. I'm not saying that's bad. It's probably good. It gives you more of a chance to talk to Aslena, it gives you options you didn't have before, and it might be the best. It is a choice though, it's your choice to change everything. I suppose though, that's what you want?"
Kamiko let herself fall to the side towards Kat, using the arm the other demon had provided to guide herself onto Kat's lap. Kat let it happen, seeing so much of the emotion drain out of Kamiko. "I… I think I want that." Said the demon who now looked rather small to Kat.
Kat was trying to ignore the horn digging somewhat painfully into her leg. Kamiko hadn't quite settled far enough across Kat's body for it to avoid jabbing into her. Kat didn't let such a small amount of pain bother her at this point though. "Ok. Now you have to ask yourself. Is it better for you to go to Aslena now, while the moment is fresh in her mind? Or wait? Do you want me there with you? Or should you be alone for this?"
Kamiko shook her head in Kat's lap, scraping her horn further along Kat's skin, and only because it was so resilient and lacking in friction was Kat spared from a large cut. "I don't know. I… I don't want to overwhelm her but… what if she forgets? What if she thinks that I forgot? Or want to forget… I… I don't know. I… I want to wait…"
Kat smiled and brushed her hands through Kamiko's short hair. "Do you really want to wait? Or are you scared?"
"I'm scared" Kamiko answered quickly but hesitantly.
"That's ok, this is scary" said Kat soothingly, letting her hands continue to brush Kamiko's hair. "the question is though, is it scarier to try and fix things? Or to let things continue as they are"
Kat could feel the moment those words sank into her friend. Kamiko's whole body shivered as she processed the full weight of what her options really meant right here. "Oh" was all she could say. Kat just kept running her fingers along Kamiko's scalp, trying to keep her calm. Kat didn't realise it but she was also carefully releasing her calming aura amplifying the effect without making it more noticeable.
"I have to go down there don't I?" said Kamiko, not really directing it at Kat this time. It was more that she needed to vocalise the question, prevent herself from ignoring the question all together.
Kat could tell and just kept up her ministrations, keeping the rhythm slow but steady, something for Kamiko to concentrate on if she needed an escape from her tough thoughts. "Do you want me with you?" Kat whispered, making sure that Kamiko would only really hear the words if she was looking for them.
Evidently she was, because Kamiko nodded, slightly, but she didn't actually voice the confirmation. She didn't know if it was better if Kat went.
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