Chapter 469: Probably Not Right…?
When Kat had finished clearing out the nearby rats she was no closer to finding an answer to her question then when she'd started. She'd certainly thought on it more, spending the rest of the fight, as well as the entire walk to the next one thinking on the answer to the question with little to no success really.
*I suppose what this really boils down to is how Vivian sees me and what she expects from me… which saying it like that feels kind of bad? I'm a mostly self sufficient teenager that had been expected to move out on her own when she turned eighteen not a child. Still, I never did do any of that planning because well… first the demon stuff then second the adoption. Still I think I could have managed.
I know how to cook. I am aware of how to budget both from school and those few times I tried helping Gramps with tax returns. I didn't exactly have a job lined up but before the three stooges took over from me I was basically working a part time job keeping all the kids in line, and then still helping more than I really should have been afterwards anyway.*
*So it's not like I didn't know how to work…* Kat jerked her head to the side so that the blood spray that was heading for her eye slipped past her instead. *That was a wake up call if I ever needed on. I'm getting sidetracked now, focusing on the wrong things. It's not about if I could have managed on my own. That ship has sailed. I'll be living with Vivian until my demon activities make me enough to move out if I so desire…
Though really, it's more likely I'll hang around as long as I can for Sylvie especially. I'm not there often, I don't take up much of the food expenses and Lily lives right there as well. I'm not sure I could bring myself to move even if I had the money.*
A small part of her pointed out that she had no idea how the demons currency system worked, and if gold or something equally valuable was cheap she might already have enough money but she shut that thought down hard, not wanting to properly contemplate the idea of moving out so soon.
It had been strange, not taking care of all the kids in the orphanage, but she'd manage to restrain herself from doing the stooges job somewhat, then having it be just her and Sylvie was almost the same, but the idea of just being by herself without any other people was not something she wanted to think about. Kat didn't consider herself a social person, or really a much of a caretaker, especially considering her lack of friends in school. However, she could not properly image a world in which she lived alone. It just wasn't something she could do.
*So once again. Perhaps it really is something I should clarify with Vivian.* Thought Kat as she let her feet dance around a puddle of organs from the rats in front of her. *From what I understand, families are something that you build up over time. Even the people born into them. I mean, Lily isn't on the best terms with hers at the moment, but she still spends a bunch of time with them despite that.*
Kat of course, was politely ignoring just how strange Lily's family situation was. It was very rare for parents to disapprove of their daughter's only friend, especially when she wasn't a delinquent or just a bad person in general. Kat didn't see much of the behind the scenes details in person, but she'd listened to Lily both complain and praise her parents enough to get some vague ideas.
So Kat's idea of family wasn't all that well realised. Still, she did know from various novels she was forced to read for her English assignments that family wasn't just the people you lived with, but the people you chose as well, with your friends being just as important. So, she could easily recognise that Lily and Sylvie were both easily the most important factors to her decision making in this instance.
Which of course, complicated the whole thing really. *See, the problem with treating Vivian like a big sister figure is that Sylvie deserves the chance to have a mother in her life. If I treat Callisto and Vivian like… well Vivian like an older sister and Callisto like a very strange sister is that undermining Vivians place, reducing her to my level?*
Of course, Kat, being the 'expert' on families that she was, had completely forgotten the fact that while she treated Sylvie like a little sister, Sylvie saw Kat as a combination big sister and Mother figure all in one, being the main source of older female influence on her life, even if she was rather mature. So in Sylvie's mind, Kat could never undermine Vivian, because Vivian was just taking on Kat's role when she wasn't around… and Callisto was great for learning about crazy ideas.
Kat was so caught up in her thoughts that once the rats had been cleared out she slashed into the floor a couple times before her body awkwardly stood up. With Kat not really in the driver's seat at the moment, she just awkwardly stood there as Kamiko ran to the end to start tidying up the rats… only to notice Kat's excellent statue impression.
Kamiko carefully jogged back towards Kat, and pouted at her. When that got no reaction, Kamiko took a few seconds to debate if tapping Kat on the shoulder was dangerous, or simply necessary. After a few moments, Kamiko decided necessary was the answer.
Kat's mind slowed down to process things as her body tensed to jump backwards, only to find a Kamiko with a goofy smile and a raised eyebrow looking at her with an arm outstretched. Kat instantly untensed and her speed returned to normal.
"Are you alright?" asked Kamiko
"It-" Kat choked on the words as she tried to say 'it's nothing important'.
Kamiko gave Kat a flat stare and a big grin when she saw what happened. Compared to even Kamiko, who didn't exactly enjoy abusing the ability to tell 'not quite the truth' to avoid scrutiny was still better then Kat, having lived her life that way. She instantly saw Kat's attempt to brush of a problem and made sure her facial expression conveyed that explicitly.
Kat sighed. "It's… it's not something I really want to dump on you Kamiko. I… I don't even really know if it's a problem"
"I'm surprised you could actually say the second half of the sentence Kat. You're kinda bad at avoiding the question, but I'll admit you tend to get away with saying things that are only true on a technicality pretty well." Said Kamiko while bouncing her eyebrows up and down showing that she wasn't actually impressed at all.
"Ugh…" moaned Kat as she started shifting the rats around just to avoid the question. Kamiko however, didn't go back to her end of the hallway, but instead helped Kat from nearby. "Fine… then" continue Kat seeing that Kamiko wasn't going to leave it alone. "I've been thinking about things.
"I mentioned I grew up in an orphanage, and I don't want to dig through my memories to check if I mentioned it, but I recently got adopted sort of… It was more that my little sister figure was getting adopted, and refused to leave without me.
"Now, normally, this wouldn't have been the worst thing ever, I'd just say it's all fine and that she deserves a family but… this little one had stuck by me a lot longer then normal, she's probably smarter then me even at half my age, and knew that I'd have to leave the orphanage soon anyway because I was getting too old.
"So when the person involved, Vivian, said yes instantly I was basically screwed. I had no chance to get out of it and keep any semblance of the high ground. Now… now I've realised that I don't really know what we are? Like… Vivian isn't much older then I am. I haven't asked, but it can't be more than 10 years, probably not even 5.
"So… it's not like she's my mom… but… I don't know if I should treat her that way. She's actually done quite a lot for me now that I've thought about it. I was thinking about it for the last two rat clearings but… honestly a lot of it boils down to what she wants…" Kat let out a sigh as she finished, not really wanting to further elaborate lest she get stuck in another endless spiral of non answers.
Kamiko smiled brightly at Kat and said. "I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. If my madhouse of a family can manage to stay together without anyone killing each other than I'm sure you'll be able to figure something out."
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