Chapter 1209 Chapter 1209 How the Judges Judge
Kress chapter
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"Now that the judges are introduced, they'll each be announcing what criteria they are judging BY. The judges won't be overlapping here, each of their scores will be completely separate. The way we'll be determining the final winner, and runner up, will be first taking the winner in each category and giving them a point. Then we'll be giving the person with the most total points, an additional two points on top of that. The team with the most points at the end will be consider the winner, with the running up being the second most points.
"If there are ties in each category, then the other judges will come together and decide who won that specific category, and the bonus points alongside it. If, somehow, only one team manages to get any points at all? Sweeping every category? Then nobody will get second place. I mean come on, surely you guys can manage to win at least one category, right? Now, let's hear our judges explain what they're looking for," said Thyme.
"Wait! I don't even know how this all works! How am I supposed to pick a category for judging?" asked Mint, a slight tinge of panic in her voice.
Thyme shrugged and said, "I cannot provide you any suggestions lest that count as unfairly influencing a judge,"
Mint looked to the other judges and pleaded, "Does that mean the rest of you can help me?"
The old man just shrugged and said, "Don't look at me, I'm probably going to judge based on what looks the nicest. Nothing fancy. I'm just an old farmer named Steve, so my opinion ain't to important,"
*No your name if ULF and let's not pretend nobody knows that either. Whatever. I guess if he wants to pretend even in front of Thyme and the other rulers he must be pretty committed to the retirement thing. Still… I don't see any other reason 'Steve' the farmer would be here alongside everyone else.*
"Well I'M going to ask Thyme to duplicate everyone's squares and then test them all for durability," said the soot goblin. "I'm not so rude as to destroy the originals… but I want to see just how well it all holds up. Just a few light earthquakes! I'm sure Thyme can simulate that for me. Anyway, depending on the damage I'll give you points. Both for how well everything survived, and for how nice it looks afterwards. Each half is worth five of the ten points I can hand out,"
Mint gave Thyme a confused look. "Can… can she do that? Splitting the way her points are judged? That seems… a little strange," said Mint slowly.
Thyme shrugged and said, "I'm not a judge so I can't really stop them from judging however they want. It seems fine to me,"
Mint glared at Thyme and shot back. "What, so I could say that I'll give my points based on whoever left the most footprints in the sand and that would be a valid method of judging this sandcastle contest?"
"If that's how you want to judge I'm fine with it," offered Thyme sincerely.
Mint felt like tearing out her hair. It wouldn't have gone well, her current body was pretty well made, fake hair included. "No I do not want that to be how I judge things, that's ridiculous!"
"I dunno… if you're not using it I'm tempted to make it how I give out points. Oh, and if we're using fake names… I call Bob" said 'Bob' the hippy.
Mint glared at him but didn't say anything. Instead, she turned to the only person who hadn't said anything yet. "I feel the urge to rate the sculptures using something silly as well, like perhaps how fuckable it looks," said Titania.
*Ah. I remember when I was confident we could win the sandcastle contest because our team built the best sand castle. My confidence is very quickly draining away. I mean WHO RATES SANDCASTLES LIKE THIS. The worst part is, I can't even speak up and complain to them about it because I know exactly who they are. I do wonder why most everyone else is staying quiet though. Hmm… poor Mint. She doesn't know what she's gotten herself into the poor girl.*
Of course, the reason that nobody else was talking was that contrary to what Kress thought, everyone seemed to recognise at least one of them. The fruit juice comment was enough for people familiar with Oditr to realise who she was. Auctifer was obvious to most of the elves, and a good number of the fae. As for Titania? The fae were all trying to pretend they didn't know who she was after being introduced as 'someone Thyme found at a brothel'. Except Green of course, who looked like she wanted to go say hello but wasn't sure it was appropriate. Well that and Nixilei's firm hand on her shoulder.
Kat hadn't connected the dots yet, but Lily had. She was currently hiding behind Kat to hide her laughter while refusing to explain to her girlfriend what was so funny. Carl hadn't worked out who they were, but did notice everyone else freaking out better then Kress did and was being careful not to do anything too stupid until he figured out why everyone was so worked up.
"I feel so lost, why is the one introduced as a 'crazy old man' the most sane amongst you people?" whined Mint.
*He's the oldest?* Kress suggested internally. He certainly wasn't going to say it out loud. Though… he leaned over and whispered to Blue, knowing that he'd probably be overheard. "What do you think our chances are now? This has become rather strange,"
Blue flinched at the sound of Kress' voice but calmed quickly. Without turning she whispered back, "I have no idea. Tit- I mean, the fae woman probably won't stick with… f-f… I can't say. With THAT as her criteria but she seems tempted. I don't really know what's going on either,"
"What is with you people?" asked Mint, perhaps more loudly then intended. She first rounded on Oditr, "You're idea is at least somewhat reasonable, and maybe, if the others had less crazy ideas I'd be cool with it, but I can't help but feel like you started us off on this crazy train," Mint then turned to Auctifer, "You shouldn't be taking my bad ideas as good ones. I was thinking of the craziest example I could, why would you accept it as an answer? Also, why would you pick a fake name? Why out Stave as being a fake name, assuming it is?" Mint turned to Titania, "I think you were joking… so I'm not going to say anything else other than that,"
Mint then turned, slowly to the old man 'Steve'. "I don't know if you're name is fake or not because I have no idea who you are and you SEEM reasonable… but I am worried about this 'crazy old man' bit. So just… I dunno if you're going to do something crazy can you just get it out of the way now?"
Steve stared back at Mint for a few seconds and eventually said, "No man is an island. They're a lot closer to spider webs. Picking up dust, dirt, debris and occasionally other insects that are quickly devoured,"
Mint growled out, "I'd slap you if I wasn't trained so well in hospitality,"
"Slap me if you want, I won't stop you… but I might return the favour…" said Steve ominously.
Mint shook her head and said, "Nope, I'm not doing it, I'm better than that,"
"Not to interrupt this… lovely little conversation," said Thyme as they head extended until it was between Steve and Mint, "However we do need to get a move on. It's past dinner time for everyone and I'm sure nobody wants to hear a bunch of random people arguing about nonsense so if everyone could pick what they're judging things on that would be great! Oh, and doubling up IS allowed, in case that wasn't clear before,"
Steve spoke first, "I'm sticking with 'best looking'. I don't care about anything else, it would take too much effort,"
"And I'm sticking with destruction," said Oditr. "As a dwarf, having a shoddily built display is worse than having nothing on display. It shows you didn't care enough to put the effort in. Though, I'll be easier on everyone as I do realise it should be mostly made up of sand,"
Titania spoke next, "I suppose I'll go for the 'most creative' then. I want to really see those minds at work in the sculpture,"
Everyone looked to 'Bob' next but he just shrugged and motioned to Mint who sighed and said, "I guess I'll join up with Steve on this one. I'll just vote for the one that looks the best,"
Auctifer thought for a few more moments and said, "I want to go for something interesting… so I'm going to give out points based on how well the things that aren't sand are used,"
"In a sandcastle contest?" asked Mint.
"I'll allow it," said Thyme. Mint glared back at Thyme. Steve grinned. 'Bob' grinned. Oditr looked around for more juice, and Titania smirked seductively.
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