189 The Cost Of Leadership
“So where are we goin’? This isn’t the way to the palace,” Skye questioned as they trotted along on Thoth.
Tidas had used his magic to run to the tavern as soon as his preliminary investigation into the magistrate had hit a stopping point for the night. Most of Alcon was sleeping, and there wasn’t anything more he could do until the normal hours of the day. As they trotted down the street, Tidas’ mind kept going back to his oldest brother.
Marco was exceptionally gifted when it came to mathematics of almost any kind. He studied ancient tomes pertaining to it constantly in his free time. Ones that even experts could barely understand. Tidas had always been impressed with his oldest brother’s capabilities, but his lack of compassion and empathy made him ruthless with his calculations. A personality trait that made Tidas worry for the people of Alcon’s future..
“Out yer head, love.. Yer place is here, with me..”
Skye’s words brought him out of his head as she leaned into him. She was sitting in front of him on the saddle as they leisurely made their way to wherever Tidas was taking them. It was the opposite direction from the capital, and towards the arena. The thought flashed through her head that Tidas knew of her new power, but pushed it aside. There was no way for him to know unless someone had told him, and no one but Maevis and Shasta had seen her Tank trait..
Tidas didn’t know what was different about his wife, but he could sense a change in her magic again. The thought that she had gotten a new trait scared him, but he knew Skye would tell him if she had; or so he believed. Her magic had a refreshing warmth to it since she gained her Shaman trait. When she’d gotten her Earth magic, it changed a bit to a soothing comfort. Akin to how one felt taking a hot shower in your home.
Skye felt her magic had more stability to it now. Like her doubts had been cleared, allowing her full strength to be utilized. Her willpower and determination were the keys to her Tank trait, and she refused to waver. She knew Tidas would be angry that she kept it from him, but Shasta was right.
During the trials, Tidas would be an obstacle; her biggest one. Even now, she still couldn’t imagine raising a sword against him for anything.. But she would have to, to earn the right to stay by his side. The warmth he radiated as she leaned against him enveloped her, giving her a strange sense of calm as she debated bringing up the subject.
“So why did you, Shasta, and Maevis take off to the arena earlier?” Tidas inquired, unnerving Skye slightly.
.....
Deciding to be as honest as possible, Skye replied; “After a wee bit of studyin’, I thought I had a breakthrough with me powers, and wanted to try something out.. I think I have a.. good strategy, so to speak.”
Tidas could tell something was off with his wife, so he asked; “Is it something dangerous?”
“No, nothin’ like that.. I can’t tell ye about it.. Ima sorry! I can’t!”
Tidas gripped the reins in frustration; “Why Not?!”
“Because yer part of the trails, remember?! It’s not like yer gonna ask the other competitors their strategies, are ye? So why should I tell the toughest part of the trials me plans to beat him?!”
Tidas let a sharp bark of laughter slip, then said; “Sorry love, but you won’t be getting passed me. Most of the competitors won’t be. If they play their cards right, maybe one or two of the little speedy ones might get by me.. But it’s still quite doubtful.”
Skye grabbed at the part of the reins in front of Tidas’ grip, and yanked on them to make Thoth stop. When he did, she then turned and glared at her husband. He was not only taking the other competitors too lightly, but her as well.
‘He really doesn’t think Ima threat at all! That arse! After I saved-ye know what?! That’s it...”
Skye shifted her stare to one of fiery gumption as she stated; “Alright, Tidas MacArthur.. Well see who beats who...”
A small shiver ran up Tidas’ spine as his wife’s appearance changed from angry, to confident when she spoke. He honestly didn’t think many of the recruits could get passed Zas and Shasta, then him. While Zas would hold back, he didn’t see Shasta doing that.
With a quirked eyebrow, Tidas inquired; “If you don’t want me to see your tricks, then why does Shasta get to see them?”
Skye grinned as she turned to face forward again; “Because she’s helpin’ me to develop parts of me plan. She’s a speed type, which is my weakness. And, it’s her way of makin’ up for her and Mae Following me all day..”
Skye heard Tidas swallow hard as she finished speaking, and told Thoth to keep going. As his hooves clacked against the streets, the couple rode in silence for several blocks. They were right outside the arena, but about twenty yards away from the competitor’s entrance. Confused, Skye asked why they were there.
As he helped her down from Thoth, Tidas told his wife, “It’s a place I used to go to as a boy whenever I needed a break from training.”
Following him over to the wall, Skye was surprised to see a decent-sized hole. It was barely big enough for Tidas to fit through now, but he managed. Once they got inside, he felt along the wall underneath the hole until he found a brick sticking out farther than the rest. When he pulled it out, it was hollow inside with a flint and stone.
Reaching down by his feet, Tidas held up a stick that was wrapped up in old-looking bandages. He used the items to create a light source, just like he used to do when he was a kid. As he prepared everything, he apologized to Skye for having Shasta follow her. He was about to explain why, but Skye told him that she already knew about what had happened in the hallway. She also told him about many of the things Shasta had shared with her.
Tidas was surprised that Shasta had been so utterly honest with Skye, but he knew that the two would get along, given a chance. They were his loved ones, and he wanted everyone to get along. Skye was easygoing, but only to a point. If Shasta would’ve kept pushing her, she was bound to snap.. Which is exactly what Tidas thought had happened.
As they talked, Tidas led Skye down a narrow hallway that looked like it was still part of the original structure. It led to a large, open area that echoed as they spoke. Off in the corner near the door was a bunch of torn-up furniture that looked like it had been picked up off of the street. Tidas walked towards the wall, then went passed the furniture. He took several steps away before stoping in front of a section of wall that had writing all over it.
As Skye approached, she realized it was all Tidas’ handwriting. There were columns of names carved into the concrete wall. When Skye stared at her husband for an answer as to what exactly she was looking at, a heavy gloom settled on his features. He ran his hand over the names with a delicate touch as sadness filled his face.
“These are all the men and women I’ve lost under my command.. All one-hundred and twenty-eight of them..”
Skye’s eyes widened when her husband’s words hit her. They were all the mages he’d lost during wars or battles since he’d become the Commander. The first two names were worn compared to the others. They were grouped together within the columns. Indicating who had died together in specific skirmishes.
Running his had over the last group, Tidas explained; “These were from our last raid into the Highlands. All ten of them were brand new recruits that were killed by Murdoc’s men. These top four were killed separately, and this unit of six was lost together. The only one who’d survived was their commanding officer, and just barely. They were ambushed after breaking off during a pincher attack by Murdoc.”
Tidas turned from the wall to lock eyes with his wife; “Even if you make every right decision, comrades will still die on the battlefield. And when you make the wrong decisions, even more die.. But that is war. That is how it goes for those who fight.”
“I don’t doubt you’ll make it into the RMC, Skye.. I worry for what comes after. If put into a leadership position, people Will die, no matter who you are. I’m not saying this to upset you; I just wanted you to understand exactly what it is you’re asking for.”
Skye contemplated her husband’s advice a minute, then asked; “So what yer sayin’ is that I need to be prepared to have innocent blood on my hands, as well as intentional? I already knew-”
“You know, but you don’t understand yet.. And honestly, I wish you never had too. I know every name on this wall by heart. I still see their faces sometimes when I sleep.. I don’t want you to suffer, Skye..”
Skye stiffened before asking in a gentle tone; “Do ye have nightmares?”
“Sometimes.. They’re worse when we’re out in the field, but I don’t have them when I sleep next to you,” Tidas grinned softly at his wife as he finished.
“So, are ye tryin’ to convince me not to join?! Because if that’s the case-”
“No, no; I know that’s useless.. But I still want you to understand Why I was against it. It’s not just to keep you physically safe, Skye.. I know how compassionate of a person you are. I just don’t want you blaming yourself needlessly when people start to die around you-”
Skye cut her husband off like he’d just done to her, but with determination in her voice; “And who says they’ll die?! I won’t let them!”
Tidas sighed; “That’s my point! You CAN’T save everyone, Skye! No one can; it’s war! The only ones that could do that are the kings, and if either of them were willing to back down, then wars wouldn’t happen in the first place! No One Can Save Everyone!”
“Ima not a fool! I Know I can’t save everyone! But I damn well better be able to save those closest to me! Otherwise what’s the point of me training?!”
Skye huffed before she continued; “I know yer just tryin’ to protect me, Tidas, but I can do that me self! Ima no damsel in distress! I may not be able to save all those under my command, but I Will protect those around me! NO ONE will die in front of me..”
Tidas’ heart ached as he and Skye stared each other down. She just didn’t understand that death and war went hand in hand. No matter who she was, she couldn’t save everyone..
“I love you, Skye.. With everything I am. I just don’t want you to blame yourself if some of the members of your unit die. Wars happen, and life is taken. There’s no way around it so long as greed prevails in this world.. I just don’t want you to suffer for it.”
Skye took a deep, calming breath before kissing Tidas’ cheek. As irritated as she was with him, she understood it was coming from a place of love. If their situations were reversed, Skye knew that she’d be just as worried for him.
With a soft smile on her lips, Skye replied; “I love ye too, husband. I know ye worry for me, and I don’t expect ye to ever stop. Just like I’ll never stop worrying about you. But..”
Skye’s eyes shined with fiery determination as she stated; “I Will prove me self to ye at the Mage Trials.. I Will beat you.”
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