Chapter 345 - Just The Beginning
It takes Alexander a whole week to accept.
He visits Lavinia and me every day. Sometimes, he stays for the night. Seldom, he walks back to his room.
The chamber I occupied has become more comfortable and cosy. The maids light the fire and keep it warm for me.
I also have a small working room attached.
I still need to walk to the Lady's office for some documents.
I can't just forget about my duties. Even if they're not my duties anymore, I shouldn't let Stoneyard be unmanaged for the time of this little tantrum of mine.
The day Alexander accepts to get married, it's sunny and windy. Not the perfect day to take a stroll in the gardens because the breeze is chilly, but I don't care.
I will marry you,? he says, looking me in the eyes. ?And this is my own wish. Not something anyone else forced me to do.?
I can't help but smile. I can restrain myself for a few seconds only before jumping in his arms and hugging him tightly.
I love you so much!? I say. ?Even if you didn't want me back as your wife, I would love you like this.?
Oh, Thea, you...? he sighs. ?Shall I call for a priest??
No, wait.?
I split from him and stare at my fingers. My cheeks are blushing, but I have to say it now.
I thought of the perfect day for our wedding...?
Yes??
I stand on tiptoe and whisper it to his ear.
This summer...? he considers. ?It's the same day we were married for the first time.?
Yes,? I confirm, nodding convinced. ?Since you accepted in time, we can celebrate it that same day.?
Are you sure?? he inquires. ?We're not the same people of our last life. We changed, didn't we??
Yes, that's true. However, what didn't change is our love. I don't have her memories, but I'm certain Queen Theodora liked and loved you as much as I do. She couldn't do better, that's for sure. We can start our new life on that same day. Without any need to remember things that never happened. And it would be romantic, wouldn't it??
It would be like accepting what happened and, at the same time, overwriting it with our new memories and actions.
Let's do it,? Alexander says. ?I trust you, Thea. If you think it's good, we'll do as you wish.?
You have a saying in it, Alexander. I'm not the only one to decide.?
Then... I do like the date. I will find a priest that will accept to use both the rings. And also a seamstress to prepare the most beautiful dress for Lavinia! It will be perfect.?
We can decide the details together. This time, we will organise it.?
Oh, yes!?
And, also...?
Yes, Thea??
This time, we will have an engagement period. We will be fiancées.?
This sentence seems to open a world to Alexander's mind.
Fiancées,? he whispers. ?I like how it sounds.?
It will be the first time for both of us.?
Yes, and we will go out on dates and get to know each other,? he chuckles. ?Why didn't I think of it earlier??
Because fiancées don't share the bed.?
His lips now curl down.
No??
No, it's forbidden.?
Are you sure??
Well, we might try. But we have to be very, very cautious. We can't let anyone find out!?
It's rather obvious what we do at night, Thea. No one is an idiot here.?
I agree, but we could at least try being less obvious.
I don't want to pretend to be engaged,? I explain. I didn't need an official divorce for that.
All right,? he nods. ?I will bear it in silence.?
Hey, I will bear it too,? I point out.
I'm not made of stone and ice.
Think about our first night of marriage,? I chuckle. ?It might become something memorable.?
Oh, not the first night,? he sighs, beaten.
The second??
No, Thea.?
When did we consummate??
Third night,? he moans.
The third night after marriage? What did we do during the first two, for goodness?
Was I busy?? I murmur, feeling a bit... just a bit guilty.
Only the first night. During the second, we forgot to.?
Oh.? I can't imagine it.
My dreams don't happen in chronological order, so I'm not sure what happened when. But my shameless Consort delaying till the third night...
Why?? I murmur. ?Why didn't you initiate intimacy earlier? Or was I the one fleeing??
What went wrong?
You were a Queen. And I was no one. I couldn't just drag you in bed. I had rules back then.?
I can't imagine there wasn't any way to convince me.?
He knows everything about my body, damn it! How could he not find a way to convince the Queen to surrender to pleasure?
I didn't have all the experience I have now.? He shrugs as if admitting it doesn't wound his pride.
What do you mean??
I mean what you heard.?
He crosses his arms and pouts.
The women before me didn't teach you anything?? I inquire, just to be sure. It would be too much to ask from Alexander.
With his figure, his natural charm, and the mysterious aura that attracts women like honey attracts flies... I can't believe he didn't have even one lover.
Ah, maybe he's talking about his first life. He was a bit clumsy and shy back then. And also, I didn't dream of anyone.
I'm glad I can't see this life, though. I'm not sure I would like to know the details.
What women?? he murmurs. ?I only have one woman.?
In... two lives??
Yes.?
He furrows his brows and narrows his eyes.
And you?? he inquires.
I don't have any women!? I defend myself. I didn't have time for a lover when I was a Queen.
Too many tasks to complete; bed activities were said to exhaust people. So, I couldn't afford to do any, just like I couldn't afford to drink alcohol.
Oh, well, bed activities do exhaust me. It wasn't a lie. Yet, I thought it would be way worse.
And also, I don't think that anyone other than my husband could make me continue for too long. I was rather lazy in my youth. I spared every step and movement to have more time to read and work.
What a sad life,? I murmur. Only later, I realise that I've moved on with my thoughts without alerting Alexander.
Like this... What was the last thing he said?
Are you talking about mine or yours?? he asks, lifting his chin as a challenge.
Actually, mine.?
Do you want a woman??
Ah??
What use do I have of a woman?
No, I'm content with one lover. Oh, wait, no... I don't have a lover now; I have a fiancée. Well, I'm happy all the same.?
Maybe, even more.
I love you, Alexander,? I say, holding his hand and stepping closer. ?And I will spend the rest of my life proving it to you. I don't know if I'll be able to convey my feelings to you, but I will do my best to learn! Year after year, I will become a better wife for you.?
You don't need to work this hard, my dear fiancée. Just be yourself, and we'll be happy.?
It's not that simple, Alexander,? I sigh. ?It'll be the third time, so we should have figured it out earlier... Marriage is not the end of a story. It's not the point when everything starts going great, and we can rest assured. It's just the beginning. And we'll have to work hard to maintain it. We'll have to fight for happiness each and every day.?
I love you so much that it hurts,? he sighs. ?I don't know how to tell you.?
You don't have to,? I whisper, caressing his cheek. ?Words are overrated.?
I don't want you to doubt me, even for an instant.?
I won't. I've seen so much in the last year that doubt is out of the question.?
Is this really the end?? he chuckles. ?No more tantrums or weird plans? Is this it??
No,? I scoff.
He pecks my forehead and waits for me to continue.
Is he really this interested in my blabbering? So much patience, as if he trained patience his whole life.
I told you. It's the beginning. But this time, let's try avoiding a tragic end.?
I can't imagine doing all of this once again. Too tiring.
I can't wait to be married,? he murmurs.
This is a line a perfect fiancée would say,? I reply, surrounding his neck with my arms.
I lean my lips on his in a gentle, sweet kiss.
We forget the wind and the yellow leaves around us. All that matters is the chaste contact between our bodies. And the soft brushing of lips over lips.
Not wild and passionate. Just delicate and gentle. Without haste, without hurry and panic.
Perfect for a new beginning.
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