Chapter 337 - Forbidden Affairs (1)
Returning to Kyre feels like going home. For real.
Lavinia sleeps most of the time, in Alexander's arms or with Kate. We're travelling slow, not to bother the little ball. It's the complete opposite of when we travelled north for the first time.
I'm not running towards unknown lands. I'm not afraid of the future. And I'm not in the same carriage as my husband.
It was a painful decision, but I preferred to ride in the same carriage as Kate and Lavinia. The maids take turns and join us, switching places at every break.
Breaks are frequent, maybe thanks to the distance between Alexander and me. But I need a stop to feed Lavinia. I can't do it in motion.
It takes forever, but we eventually reach Stoneyard.
I've already instructed the maids about the preparation of the rooms. When Lavinia grows up some more and can stay without me for a whole night, Alexander and I will choose a room for her together. For the time being, she will be together with me.
Not in the Lord's room.
Can we talk for a moment?? I ask Alexander while we walk towards our marital chambers.
Why have you asked the maids to prepare a room? Are we expecting guests?? he inquires.
It's for me, the room,? I sigh. ?It's what I want to talk about with you.?
Yes??
He lifts his brows, confused.
You remember that you promised me freedom once all was over, right??
Yes??
Now, the shine in his eyes dies down.
I asked his majesty to sign a divorce.? It took me much work to convince the Emperor to accept my request. But that is how things need to be.
You... Why??
None of us has been asked before declaring this marriage. I want us to choose it. To do that, though, we have to actually have a choice. Am I right??
Thea, I thought you liked being my wife.?
It doesn't matter,? I sigh.
Then, I realise that we're not married anymore.
Can we talk again this evening?? I inquire.
We can talk here.?
I would feel shy of doing that kind of talk here, in the Lord and Lady's room. I can't even propose to have an illegal relationship here.
But, in my new room...
I'd like it if you continued to be a good father to Lavinia,? I say out loud. ?Don't make her notice what's happening between us.?
You know I would never,? he sighs. His tone is glacial, his expression sad.
He feels betrayed, doesn't he? But this is too important for me.
I won't leave Stoneyard,? I say.
These words seem to help Alexander's mood. Not too much, but he doesn't exude the killing aura from before.
I will continue upholding the Lady's duties, and I'll help you with all the rest if you need it. I'm not that irresponsible.?
You just threw me away after we had a daughter together,? he replies. ?What do I care about the work I'll have to do from now on? You're merciless, Thea. Without any warning...?
I wanted to be home before telling you,? I explain. ?But I'd very much like to have dinner with you.?
All right, I will,? he murmurs.
As I leave behind a pouty Lord, I wonder if I'll ever be able to win him back. After this, it will be quite difficult.
I'll see this evening how he reacts.
The room the maids prepare is warm and cosy. Not as big as the previous one, but perfect for my needs.
Lavinia will sleep in a smaller room reachable through a small door. I can walk to her if there's a need, but she'll be with her nanny. Kate takes care of her, and so she will continue.
It takes less work than planned to get ready for dinner.
I take a long bath and feed my daughter before Alexander comes. Like this, the little ball should be good till morning. She's a big girl now. Soon, Kate will start feeding her with food in addition to my milk.
When Alexander steps in, I'm wearing a comfortable nightgown and am alone. It's cold in Stoneyard for seductive clothing, so I'll have to make it work with this.
Thea, what in the world are you trying to do??
I curl my lips upwards.
Now that we're not married, whatever we do is illegal. Are you sure you can say no to a sinful relationship??
You didn't have to divorce for that. We could find a way to be sinful without being so extreme,? he replies, but his shoulders relax.
Lavinia is already sleeping. You will see her tomorrow morning,? I add. ?We haven't been together since we departed from the capital.?
Because you didn't like the idea of doing it in the woods,? he murmurs.
I lean a hand on his chest and stand on tiptoe. I press my lips on his and sigh, feeling the thrills of doing something prohibited.
You can reject me if you don't like it,? I remind him.
A second later, I'm on the bed. My wrists are kept together by one of Alexander's hands while the other caresses my body.
You're playing with fire,? he murmurs to my ear. ?Miss...?
I inhale abruptly when his fingers rub my secret part. I gulp, keeping control of myself. This shouldn't be enough to make me lose my mind.
But the noise of the nightgown being torn is.
Oh, Alexander,? I sigh, arching my back.
You asked his majesty for a divorce,? he reminds me. ?Do you have any idea how furious I am, right now??
No,? I moan. ?Show me!?
No matter how harsh his words, his hands are so gentle. Firm, stubborn, and possessive. But still gentle.
Are you sure?? he murmurs. ?Isn't divorcing enough for you to feel the thrill??
I wasn't planning to become your mistress,? I point out. It's not the whole point. ?But we'll talk tomorrow about this.?
Mistress?? he realises.
He grins.
I like how it sounds.?
Ah, as if...
We're having a secret affair,? he adds, now in a good mood.
Just one drop of happiness more, and he'll release my wrist and brighten the room with his smirk.
We need to share the bed for it to be an affair,? I remind him.
But I'm still furious.?
Yes, I know.?
And I'm tired from the journey.?
As if I could believe it...?
He bites my shoulder, and I realise I've talked out loud. Whoops.
Let's try something a bit different,? he offers. His breath tickles my neck, and I sigh when his lips peck my skin. ?What do you think??
All right.?
You haven't heard it yet.?
But I won't know what I think about it until we try.?
You're so much fun, Thea. Nothing scares you.?
After more than a year married to him, I know well how his mind works. He won't hurt me, even if his ideas can be extreme.
Oh, well... Not more than what is pleasant.
I'll tell you to stop if it hurts,? I sigh.
It won't be painful, hopefully.? Then there won't be anything to worry about.
Other than getting intimate in public places, there's nothing I'm not willing to explore.
Ropes,? he says, releasing my wrists.
In the drawer,? I say, blushing like a fool. I was ready for any outcome, so everything is relatively close.
I didn't ask you where they are. Take them out.?
He lifts his weight just enough to let me turn and crawl to the bedside table. I open the drawer and glance at Alexander. How many?
Two should be enough. Longer.?
Here,? I say while passing what he asked for and offering my wrists to him.
He chuckles, showing me the evil grin he didn't have time for in the last few weeks.
Oh, damn it... Am I in trouble?
I swallow, waiting for his intentions.
Right hand, right leg,? he orders.
What do you want to do?? I inquire. Not to stop him. Not for curiosity. Just to know how to set my limbs.
Tie your wrists to your ankles.?
Doesn't seem comfortable,? I murmur.
I sit on my knees and get rid of the piece of nightgown hanging on my neck. Then, I touch my feet.
Is it all right like this?? I murmur. It's the easiest way to put my wrists close to my ankles. Anything else would require more elasticity, and I'm not yet able to do acrobatics...
All right,? Alexander agrees. ?You'll need to be able to move, so I won't tie you too tightly.?
In fact, he does leave some rope between leg and arm. Not enough to let me move freely, not even get up. But my back isn't bent backwards while sitting like this.
Now?? I ask. If I need to move, there must be things he wants me to do.
Now I show you what you renounced when you divorced me,? he whispers. The shiver that crosses my spine hints that it's not going to be as calm and sweet as his words suggest.
Don't have any mercy,? I murmur. Just in time before he jumps up to kiss me.
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