Chapter 282 - The Daughter (1)
In the end, it is a daughter. This is not Elias.
Nor a baby they exchanged him with. These eyes are so black that they can't be from a random family. And I can feel something linking me to my daughter.
They weren't lying. It's me that failed.
You're not him,? I realise while tears start flowing from my cheeks. ?You poor little girl, don't worry. I'm here for you...?
I stretch my arms and pick up the little ball. It's light, but my muscles twitch to pain. I'm so tired, but I have to carry my baby back to my room.
Too bad that the midwife stands in front of the door and blocks the exit.
You can't take her out!? she exclaims.
Watch me,? I say, but my voice comes out weak. I'm not sure what to do first, whether to calm the little ball, walk out, or ask the maid to help me...
Sensing my emotions, the baby resumes crying out loud.
No, no...? I whisper, coddling her somehow. ?Do not cry!?
She doesn't listen... she closes her big, beautiful eyes and opens her mouth wide. I start sobbing as well, not knowing what to do.
I have no clue how to take care of a baby. It's the truth. I'm no good as a mother.
Don't cry, please,? I wail.
Your highness, put the baby down!? the midwife repeats. She moves a couple of steps in my direction, her eyes full of annoyance and contempt. She raises her arms, and I instinctively hug my daughter closer to my chest.
The midwife doesn't have any chance to reach me, for my maid pushes her down with a fast, precise motion. The woman falls down like a sack of barley, and she curses, holding her knee.
Damn you!? she rails against the maid. ?I'll have your head cut by the end of today!?
While the two bicker, I try calming down the baby. Or at least myself.
And I fail at both.
You won't take her out of here!? the midwife exclaims, getting up and attempting to limp in my direction. ?You don't have the right to do so!?
Then, who has?? a voice asks.
Not mine, since I no longer have a clue about the world around me.
The part of me happy to see my baby registers that it's Alexander. That part wants to show him how healthy and energetic our daughter is.
But the rest is in an absolute panic. I don't even understand what is happening. Nor can I predict Alexander's reaction to this weird scene.
After all, his daughter is crying in my arms. Is it my fault? Probably, yes.
And, secondly, this is not his beloved Elias.
Alexander observes the situation for a split second while undoing the mantle and launching it on a chair. He just arrived from travel. He must be tired.
And here we are, offering him a scene as the first thing he sees once back.
He walks to me and caresses my face with a light touch, kissing my forehead when I look at him with wide eyes.
Thea, you're making our child cry,? he whispers, surrounding the little ball with his arms.
I put some resistance to his attempt to take it away from me, but then I remember that he's trustworthy. I let go, and he carries our baby for a few seconds before she stops any sound. She looks at him, her eyes wide and attracted by the deep voice of this man.
Is she recognising him? He talked to her so many times while she was still in my belly. Could it really be?
And what about Alexander? Will he be angry not to see Elias? Will he feel displeased, betrayed? Disappointed?
Ignoring the surroundings, Alexander holds my hand and pulls me out. No one dares to utter a word while we leave and reach his lodgings.
As hypnotised as our daughter, I observe his calm smile and gentle touch. He's calming both of us at the same time.
Once closed the door behind our backs, he pulls me to the bed. He makes sure I'm sat before walking in the room and coddling our daughter for some more.
What have they done to you, ah?? he inquires.
I startle, frightened he will scold me for disturbing our child's rest. However, he doesn't add anything and leans the baby on the bed. He observes the white clothes with a keen eye. Then, once found the beginning of the sash, he undoes the swaddling.
Isn't this better?? he says, observing amused how our baby moves her free legs and arms. He turns to me all of a sudden, and I wince again. ?What do you think??
I shrug, not understanding if he's asking me an opinion about the babies' clothes or something else.
The diaper is already much of a hassle, isn't it? I can't look at our daughter struggling in that tight thing.?
All right,? I mumble, more out of reflex than free will.
Alexander is the expert, among us two. I know nothing about babies and nursing.
He wraps our daughter in a soft blanket, one that we chose together for her, and he returns to cradling her until sleep. Once done, he returns to me and leaves the baby at the centre of the bed.
I look at him for the whole time, still on alert from before.
He sits next to me and caresses my face. He pecks my cheek, and then my temple.
How are you feeling?? he inquires.
I don't know how to answer, so I shrug again. I feel burning between my legs, and some small red stains decorate the dress. I caught Alexander's eye on them, but he pretends not to have noticed.
You should rest, my love. It's too early to cause trouble around, isn't it??
I don't know,? I whisper, and I start sobbing. Just because. I have no clue why I'm starting again.
Alexander hugs me, and he rubs my back until I calm down. He compels me to lie down, my back sustained by a mountain of pillows and the headrest. He covers my legs and holds the baby sleeping as nothing happened.
Do you want to hold her, now?? he asks me.
I nod and stretch out my arms, waiting with patience for his decision. He accepts to let a neurotic woman like myself hold his precious daughter, so I do my best not to wake the little ball up.
You've done a terrific job, Thea. Our daughter is so beautiful.?
Is she?? I mumble. She's a bit ugly.
You'll see in a few days. Now it's early, and every baby is ugly after birth.?
Oh.?
Yes, my love. Look at her: she resembles you...?
Am I ugly?
She has your eyes,? I point out.
Then, I remember that we were hoping to meet Elias. Alexander didn't show any trace of fury at the discovery that I haven't given birth to his beloved son but to a new daughter.
He didn't even look surprised. He's so good at hiding his thoughts, not to scare me.
And she's not Elias,? I sigh.
Before I can start crying again, Alexander surrounds my shoulders with an arm and leans back next to me. Like this, he can stare at our baby and me at the same time.
She's not, indeed.?
I'm sorry.?
Sorry for what??
I failed at bringing our son back to life.?
It wouldn't be your fault even if I was expecting Elias to arrive. But it's too soon, Thea.?
Too... soon? Weren't you sure this was him??
At first, I believed we weren't going to have any children for years. But I was a fool. Thank goodness, it all happened after a few months, so Elias's birth is still possible.?
What are you talking about?? I stop him. ?You knew it??
Yes, I knew this wasn't him. Why? Did you think you were carrying Elias??
I nod, and he sighs.
Oh, Thea. I wish I noticed all these months... We were supposed to get married next summer. Then, two years passed before conceiving our firstborn. This time, everything went in a different direction, so we also have a daughter. Isn't it wonderful??
You said our firstborn would be a son, an heir to Kyre!? I exclaim. Then, I remember that I'm holding a sleeping ball, so I tune my voice down. ?You liar!?
When I said that, I was quite convinced.?
So, we didn't kill Elias by giving birth to her??
No, Thea. We will do everything in our powers to have Elias back.?
The plans in your office...? I murmur. So, we are going to redo all of those lewd things, repeating every single detail... It doesn't sound so bad, after all.
You found them,? he sighs. ?Well, yes. Those are the plans.?
I bite my lower lip to avoid showing him any weird grimace. I've just become a mother, for goodness. I should be mature and rational now.
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