Chapter 281 - A Little Ball
When I open my eyes, hours have passed. A new day has come, and the sun is high in the sky, filtered by the heavy curtains.
I know it's late because of the clock on the wall, and I know it's morning thanks to the light. I've been asleep for so long!
I'm exhausted, so it's not that surprising. I think I've broken my record of sixteen hours without waking up.
I'll have to tell Alexander when he comes back. Giving birth to children is more tiring than killing assassins.
By the way, where is my baby? That woman said it's a girl, and she disappeared with Elias behind the door. I couldn't move my muscles, so I lost track of her traces and didn't see my baby even once.
My breasts hurt from the pressure of the milk. At least, I don't feel anything from the waist lower. It's as if I don't have a belly anymore.
Thank goodness, for I don't want to know what I've broken down there. It hurt so much, but now it seems over.
The sheets have been changed, and someone washed me. I feel all fresh, and the pillows are scented with lavender.
I turn to the side, and the soreness I felt transforms into pain.
Damn it!? I whisper, clenching my legs and closing my eyes. I'd return to sleeping motionless. If only I didn't have a baby to retrieve.
Where the heck did they bring Elias?
Kate is sleeping on an armchair, her mouth is half-opened, and she's snoring. She must be tired.
Among the last things I remember, there's her worry and concern towards me. She probably saved my life, and I lost consciousness way before the situation was settled.
Who knows how long she's stayed up to nurse me?
Next to her, there's one of the maids we brought from Kyre to protect me. We should have instructed her to stay with the baby, not me... But now it's late.
I have to try, at least. I can't forget Elias like this. Not after all the struggles before his birth.
Why did they say it was a girl? They wanted to bring him away from me, for sure. Did they think I wouldn't look for my child if it wasn't a boy?
These people are so strange.
I just hope he's all right.
My Lady?? the maid murmurs, waking up. She observes me as I open the door, and she follows me out.
I press a finger on my lips to tell her not to make a fuss. Kate is still sleeping.
Where are you going, my Lady? I can bring you whatever you need: there's no need to walk around,? she says once the door behind our backs is closed.
I'm going to look for my son.?
She blinks, surprised. Then, she glances at a door nearby. It's the nursery, where all that is needed to take care of a baby is kept. We were planning to make the baby sleep in my or Alexander's room, but the midwife might have assumed it's the baby's chamber...
There is still hope. Maybe, Elias is behind that door! If they didn't bring him far, I still can have him back.
I won't disappoint Alexander this way. I wouldn't be able to look him in the eyes anymore if something happened while he was away.
I take a couple of steps towards the door, and the maid sighs behind me.
They didn't allow me in,? she says. ?The baby needs silence and rest, so they chased out everyone.?
They??
The midwife and her assistant.?
Oh,? I moan. Why are they so insistent on keeping anyone far from Elias? Even me...
I reach the handle and push the door, walking in without alerting anyone.
The room is empty. I can see the sheets from here. My son is there, sleeping.
I just have to take a couple of steps, and I will finally meet him.
I smile; my eyes are full of happy tears. My baby is alive and well, sleeping like a little angel.
I take a step, but a noisy sigh stops me.
Your highness!? a maid exclaims, covering her mouth in astonishment. ?What are you doing here??
What kind of question is that?
I'm here for my child,? I say, glaring at her. She must be the famous assistant. Where is the midwife? How dares she keep mother and son apart?
You should be resting in bed,? the woman says.
Who are you to tell me what I should do??
It's for your health, your highness. You've just given birth.?
You should have let me see my baby before disappearing behind a door. I want to see him. Now.?
It's not the protocol, your highness. Where do noblewomen attend to their children??
That's not for you to decide. Move aside, now,? I declare and take a step towards the cradle.
Instead of stepping to the side and bowing her head out of shame, this woman stops in front of me.
I can't let you pass, your highness. Your daughter is part of the royal family; not everyone can approach her.?
Am I not part of that same family? I'm the mother here. Who else can have any right if not me??
Your highness, with due respect, you do not have any blood link to his majesty. The young miss does.?
So what? Are you going to keep me separated from my child??
Yes, until his majesty sends us formal approval to let you see her.?
And what's all this insisting that it's a girl. Is it because of security or something?
I turn back to my maid and order her to keep the assistant far from me as I walk to the cradle.
I want to see my son, and you won't stop me,? I say while moving forward.
Your highness, it's a girl. It's your daughter. You didn't have a son. You should punish anyone that said such a lie...?
Shut up,? I sigh. ?Did you exchange my son with another baby??
It's possible. Hence all the insistence on it.
If the baby in the cradle isn't Elias, then where is he?
Where is my son?? I repeat, turning towards the assistant. Rage starts flowing in my veins, and I clench my fists. ?What have you done to him? Who sent you??
A tear escapes from my left eye, but I do not wipe it away. She better sees all my desperation before she even thinks about lying.
Was it that vixen? Did she have to take my son away??
Your baby is here, your highness,? the woman repeats. She glances to the secondary door that is opening, apparently relieved.
The midwife steps in, and she observes the situation with an open mouth. She sees my maid keeping hers still, and me, a few steps from the cradle.
Your highness, what are you doing here??
I want to see my child. Is it forbidden??
It's against the protocol...?
Do not start with that crap. You could bring him to me this morning. How am I going to feed him, ah??
Your highness, you're not supposed to breastfeed your children. Ethirian women don't do that kind of thing.?
Ah,? I groan. ?You're getting on my nerves!?
My fingers are shaking, so I clench my fists. It doesn't help much as now all my hand trembles.
My belly is hurting, but I can't focus on it right now. I have to find Elias.
Your highness, please, step away from the child,? the midwife says with a calm, hypnotising tone.
Why?? They want me not to see, to stay far, long enough for my maternal instinct to die down. Then, I won't know who my child is anymore... I won't let them!
Your highness, we're going to wake the baby up, like this.?
So what? Are you pretending to care, now??
My voice makes the little bun behind me upset, and it starts crying. My whole being is crossed by electricity at that sound. It's mine. It's not another baby, I'm sure of it: Elias must be here!
I turn around and reach the cradle. The first thing I see is the white clothes packing him like a ball. Why did they swaddle him like this? It doesn't look comfortable.
I wanted to see his little hands, his clenched fists, his pretty feet. Like this, I can see an ugly face, still stressed from birth, and the white sheets.
He's crying his soul out, disturbed by the adults' bickering in his room. Oh, he's right... But now, I will bring him with me. He won't be disturbed anymore: I will protect him.
Hey, look at you,? I whisper, bowing down to feel closer. I clench the wood of the cradle for better stability. My feet are cold since I didn't have time to look for shoes of any kind. Most of my muscles hurt, and my shoulders tremble with nervousness.
But all of this doesn't matter in front of my baby.
What have they done to you, ah?? I continue.
At the sound of my voice, Elias opens his eyes and turns to me. He's still crying, but his head is turned towards me as much as the swaddling lets him.
I look for his eyes, excited to finally see those gems, but I don't find them. Instead of two sapphires, I meet a couple of pitch-black eyes.
Black like the night, like nothingness. Black like Alexander's.
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