Chapter 246 - Work Talks (1)
After walking back to the chamber, Alexander and I prepare for the night.
Prim helps me get out of the dress and combs my hair while Alexander does on his own. Once finished, the girl leaves after a curtsey. She's learned a lot in a few hours.
Finally alone, Alexander walks to me and crouches in front of the chair. I lift my eyebrows, surprised. This scene feels familiar...
It's so similar to when he apologised to me the first time, after leaving me for a week to cope alone with the evil court. This time, he doesn't have anything to be sorry for.
What?? I inquire, feigning unconcern.
I'm sorry, Thea,? he whispers, almost moved. ?I was such a jerk out there...?
It's all part of a plan; why does he seem so dejected? I won't take it to heart since I know he doesn't think what he said.
Instead of accepting his apology, I get up and walk to bed. I might as well exploit his availability.
You better work if you want my forgiveness,? I state.
What do I have to do?? he asks, his eyes full of hope.
Warm me up,? I state and get under the sheets.
Alexander blows the candles off, leaving only the one on his bedside table. He snuggles under the blanket and hugs me delicately.
His hand strokes my back with calming movements while the other arm acts as a pillow for my head.
I want a goodnight kiss,? I continue with my requests.
His lips peck my forehead, and he waits for the next order. I can't think of anything on the spot. And all of this is nothing he wouldn't have done regardless of the situation.
I'm not capable of exploiting him to my advantage. I'm getting old...
I want another one,? I say after a while. ?Another goodnight kiss.?
Alexander chuckles, but he fulfils my request and kisses my forehead once again. Then, he pecks my temple, cheek and nose. He leaves a trace of light kisses on my chin until finally reaching my lips.
His kiss is tender, not rushed and passionate like usual. Yet, it's enough to make my heart skip a beat.
I sigh, cuddling in his arms. ?You've earned my forgiveness,? I admit. No need to drag it longer and I don't want to look at his depressed expression. He didn't do anything to be this sorry.
When he smiles content, I hug him tightly, latching my arms around his neck.
Are you so worried, for real?? I whisper, rubbing my cheek on his neck. ?We agreed on playing along with each other in front of strangers. Right from the start, remember??
Yes, Thea. But that doesn't mean I can say whatever I want.?
No,? I correct him. ?It means that you can say whatever you need. Not what you want, but what is useful...?
You know, after hearing what the Viscount said before...? he starts, ?a part of me feels relieved.?
Because my uncle is involved, right?? I inquire.
Somehow, I can understand him. Since the Ambassador is involved in something destabilising the Empire, I won't fall into his trap. I know what his real purpose is.
I won't act like a thirteen-year-old girl looking for a family where there isn't. I won't risk my real family's lives because of that.
I won't disappoint you this time,? I murmur. ?I won't believe him even if he promises me the crown or peace... I'm not that naive, even if it's difficult to prove it after what happened the first time.?
No, my dear, do not talk like this. Do not take the guilt all on yourself.?
But I am guilty, Alexander. Contrarily to you, who didn't do anything wrong.?
You've dreamt about Elias's death, haven't you??
No, I dreamt about the funeral,? I whisper while tears fill my eyes. ?And I couldn't wake up no matter how much I wished for it. All I could feel was guilt and pain. I wouldn't be able to live like that, Alexander. But it was not your fault!? Queen Theodora failed at noticing how much her husband was suffering. I can't blame her, given her state.
She was very skinny, and her body was frail like never before.
She tried reassuring her consort, but she didn't see her failure. He didn't stop throbbing and hating himself.
I should be the one to be sorry. My mistake killed so many people and destroyed a kingdom. I'm lucky I can't remember...? I continue, settled on making him get over his past. ?You have a second chance now. You can atone if you need it so much. But stop torturing yourself, and do not make me dream that scene again!?
All right,? Alexander sighs. ?If it helps you, I'll stop feeling guilty.?
Last time you said something like this, you were lying.?
How do you know I was lying??
I was inside your head,? I point out. ?I felt what you felt.?
Oh,? he realises. ?But, this time, I'll try for real.?
And now, let's get back to work. What are you going to write in the missive for Asteria?? I ask, remembering my husband's performance. ?You were so convincing, Alexander. You seemed really angry and greedy... I was so stunned, but I couldn't tell you before...?
I caress the back of his neck with my nails, following the shivers along his spine. Thank goodness I've started having useful dreams, other than those painful.
It turns out that the lighter the touch, the better my Duke feels. What he likes very much is when his wife praises him, or when she naively accepts to surrender to him.
Some things still confuse me. The man in my dreams was stunned by the Queen's innocent remarks or actions, but my Duke's reactions are happier when I act boldly.
I'm conflicted. I don't know whether to believe more in the dreams or in my own intuition.
Maybe, it's the same. What if I'm wasting time over nothing, and my Duke would react the same no matter how I act?
I like looking at you while you work,? I continue, remembering that I'm supposed to flatter him, not question my own ethics. He deserves some praise after so much work, doesn't he?
I was wondering what was going to happen to me,? my Duke sighs.
What?
Why?? I inquire, confused. Am I doing it wrong?
You stayed silent and obedient for a whole evening. I was so afraid you would bite me as soon as we are alone...?
I won't,? I reassure him. I'm not a wild animal. And my teeth do not tingle like after the steamy dreams where he tortures Queen Theodora to madness. ?Oh, only if you ask for it,? I add. What if he changed his mind as well and now likes it?
No, please,? he moans. ?Don't hurt this Duke if you can avoid it!?
I move one hand from his neck to his shoulder, always using only my nails. He sighs, relaxing his tense muscles, and I manage to slip my leg between his.
Good to know,? I murmur to his ear. He loves to feel my breath on his skin almost as much as I like his. And he likes it more when what I whisper is his name.
Oh, there is a word he likes more than his name. And it's something Queen Theodora didn't know.
I'll treat my husband with care,? I continue. ?I won't be harsh...?
We were supposed to talk about work,? he chuckles, but his hand on my back is moving lower. When he's almost reached the bottom, he stops. ?What do you think I should write in the missive??
Oh, he's settled on talking about work.
I can write a letter to my grandfather asking him to help us get the throne in exchange for future rewards. Maybe even part of the territory, it doesn't matter. We won't work with them for real, so we can offer more than it's acceptable. But we can't overdo it, or someone will notice we're just pretending.?
I'd prefer to send the letter to someone that won't read it,? Alexander says. ?Is there anyone in your family that will throw the missive without regard??
The most likely is my grandfather. If you don't want to risk it, I can ask him for help to be set free or something. I'll tell him I don't want to be a prisoner anymore.?
It's not believable.?
He won't spend time on it, so it's not relevant what I write. If you prefer, I'll just ask him how he's doing and inform him that I'm well and alive. This isn't anything dangerous, but the way the letter is sent will make the Viscount think we're planning treason.?
I have an idea, wife,? he mutters. ?I know how to make the most out of this situation.?
Will you tell me??
Yes, I will. I don't like too many surprises, but my plan is more wicked than you would say... On one side, we'll get rid of the Viscount. On the other, we'll attract the rest of the people that are plotting in the dark.?
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